Grandparent after termination of rights

[Ilinfoplz]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
In July of 2009 my ex husband relinquished his parental rights to my 2 children. My children and myself had had no contact with my ex or his family (who live only 5 miles away from me, no exaggeration) since November 2008.

In August my ex's mother, after finding out what he did, showed up at my 6 year old's last tee ball game. She went to my son in the dug out and asked him to go home with her. My cousin was sitting in the dug out and heard her so she called me over. My son was very upset and crying. He just wanted to leave. I told her to leave us alone and if she ever asked him to go with her again I would call the police.

In December she sent Christmas cards, whick I did not give to the children. Then she showed up at their school Chrismas program and attempted to take pictures. My oldest saw her and moved behind classmates so she couldn't get a picture of her. My son never saw her and I'm not sure she ever located him among the other 1st graders. Then she showed up at the church Christmas program. This time both of my kids saw her and she took pictures of them. I went to her and asked her to stop showing up and to stop taking pictures of my kids. I told her that I most certainly did not want her to be sending any pictures of my children to her son. I said that he when he signed his rights away he lost all rights to see how they are growing up. I told her that she had no rights to my kids, she lost hers along with her son. She got angry and yelled at me and got in my face and cursed at me (in church none the less). She said I would not stop her from seeing them. She attempted to speak to my kids but they cowered behind my current husband and my dad.

She sent cards for Valentine's day and showed up at school with candy for the children.

Everytime she does something it throws my kids into turmoil. My oldest (11) handles it better than my youngest (6). The oldest says it brings back the fact that after 10 years her father didn't want her anymore. He told them that he "had no use for them anymore." My youngest, after seeing her, acts out, is difficult to control, and starts wetting the bed. he doesn't know how to handle all the feelings that it brings back to him.

My current husband is in the process of adopting my children. She says that she will not let this happen and will find a way to stop it.

1-Is there anything, legally, I can do to stop her from harassing me and my children?

2-Can she legally stop my husband from adopting my children?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
In July of 2009 my ex husband relinquished his parental rights to my 2 children. My children and myself had had no contact with my ex or his family (who live only 5 miles away from me, no exaggeration) since November 2008.

In August my ex's mother, after finding out what he did, showed up at my 6 year old's last tee ball game. She went to my son in the dug out and asked him to go home with her. My cousin was sitting in the dug out and heard her so she called me over. My son was very upset and crying. He just wanted to leave. I told her to leave us alone and if she ever asked him to go with her again I would call the police.

In December she sent Christmas cards, whick I did not give to the children. Then she showed up at their school Chrismas program and attempted to take pictures. My oldest saw her and moved behind classmates so she couldn't get a picture of her. My son never saw her and I'm not sure she ever located him among the other 1st graders. Then she showed up at the church Christmas program. This time both of my kids saw her and she took pictures of them. I went to her and asked her to stop showing up and to stop taking pictures of my kids. I told her that I most certainly did not want her to be sending any pictures of my children to her son. I said that he when he signed his rights away he lost all rights to see how they are growing up. I told her that she had no rights to my kids, she lost hers along with her son. She got angry and yelled at me and got in my face and cursed at me (in church none the less). She said I would not stop her from seeing them. She attempted to speak to my kids but they cowered behind my current husband and my dad.

She sent cards for Valentine's day and showed up at school with candy for the children.

Everytime she does something it throws my kids into turmoil. My oldest (11) handles it better than my youngest (6). The oldest says it brings back the fact that after 10 years her father didn't want her anymore. He told them that he "had no use for them anymore." My youngest, after seeing her, acts out, is difficult to control, and starts wetting the bed. he doesn't know how to handle all the feelings that it brings back to him.

My current husband is in the process of adopting my children. She says that she will not let this happen and will find a way to stop it.

1-Is there anything, legally, I can do to stop her from harassing me and my children?

2-Can she legally stop my husband from adopting my children?

She has a right to go to public events and take pictures of the children who are at the public event. She may even have standing to sue for visitation of the children.

 

[Rushia]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
In July of 2009 my ex husband relinquished his parental rights to my 2 children. My children and myself had had no contact with my ex or his family (who live only 5 miles away from me, no exaggeration) since November 2008.

In August my ex's mother, after finding out what he did, showed up at my 6 year old's last tee ball game. She went to my son in the dug out and asked him to go home with her. My cousin was sitting in the dug out and heard her so she called me over. My son was very upset and crying. He just wanted to leave. I told her to leave us alone and if she ever asked him to go with her again I would call the police.

In December she sent Christmas cards, whick I did not give to the children. Then she showed up at their school Chrismas program and attempted to take pictures. My oldest saw her and moved behind classmates so she couldn't get a picture of her. My son never saw her and I'm not sure she ever located him among the other 1st graders. Then she showed up at the church Christmas program. This time both of my kids saw her and she took pictures of them. I went to her and asked her to stop showing up and to stop taking pictures of my kids. I told her that I most certainly did not want her to be sending any pictures of my children to her son. I said that he when he signed his rights away he lost all rights to see how they are growing up. I told her that she had no rights to my kids, she lost hers along with her son. She got angry and yelled at me and got in my face and cursed at me (in church none the less). She said I would not stop her from seeing them. She attempted to speak to my kids but they cowered behind my current husband and my dad.

She sent cards for Valentine's day and showed up at school with candy for the children.

Everytime she does something it throws my kids into turmoil. My oldest (11) handles it better than my youngest (6). The oldest says it brings back the fact that after 10 years her father didn't want her anymore. He told them that he "had no use for them anymore." My youngest, after seeing her, acts out, is difficult to control, and starts wetting the bed. he doesn't know how to handle all the feelings that it brings back to him.

My current husband is in the process of adopting my children. She says that she will not let this happen and will find a way to stop it.

1-Is there anything, legally, I can do to stop her from harassing me and my children?

2-Can she legally stop my husband from adopting my children?

Research you state statutes for gpv after termination of parental rights. Some states allow for the gp to sue after a TPR and stepparent adoption.

1-You could file for a restraining order against her. She is stalking and harassing you and the children.

2-Probably not.

 

[Ohiogal]

Research you state statutes for gpv after termination of parental rights. Some states allow for the gp to sue after a TPR and stepparent adoption.

1-You could file for a restraining order against her. She is stalking and harassing you and the children.

2-Probably not.

She might not be stalking and harassing them if she is showing up in public places and taking pics of them in public.

 

[Rushia]

She might not be stalking and harassing them if she is showing up in public places and taking pics of them in public.

I'm thinking about showing up at the school. If it was during regular school hours then she didn't have a right to be there. Gramma is a legal stranger and as such OP has every right to tell her to cease and desist contact with HER children.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm thinking about showing up at the school. If it was during regular school hours then she didn't have a right to be there. Gramma is a legal stranger and as such OP has every right to tell her to cease and desist contact with HER children.

If the school Christmas program is open to the public then grandma can be there. The OP can prevent direct contact but does not seem to have enough to prevent Grandma from being at school programs (if open to the public) and Church programs.

 

[LdiJ]

If the school Christmas program is open to the public then grandma can be there. The OP can prevent direct contact but does not seem to have enough to prevent Grandma from being at school programs (if open to the public) and Church programs.

Unless of course mom was able to get a restraining order.

 

[LdiJ]

Research you state statutes for gpv after termination of parental rights. Some states allow for the gp to sue after a TPR and stepparent adoption.

1-You could file for a restraining order against her. She is stalking and harassing you and the children.

2-Probably not.

In almost all states standing to sue for gpv survives a stepparent adoption. It is definitely the case in IL. However, in this instance grandma made no effort to be part of the children's lives for almost two years, so she honestly doesn't have the ongoing relationship necessary under the IL statutes.

There is absolutely nothing she can do to stop or interfere with the stepparent adoption.

 

[Knowalot]

You lose nothing but maybe a little time by discussing the matter with the local police and taking the matter to Court to ask for a restraining order. The Judge will listen to the facts of your case and HE/SHE will decide if what this woman is doing to your children can be stopped under the law with a restraining order. It never hurts to try. You are so lucky that their father is out of their lives, now just do everything you can to get rid of stalking grandma. If she cared a wit about the children she would not upset them in this way. She would beg you for permission to see them under your rules. Don't let her intimidate your family.

 

[candg918]

Grandparents do not stop loving their grandchild just because the grandchild's parents are no longer on good terms. Wanting to see and hug a grandchild is not harassment but a normal emotion. The more loving, supportive people in a child's life, the better off they are.

Given your obvious animosity, it is possible that your actions are influencing the children's reactions to the grandmother. Since you appear to live in the same community, they are likely to see her periodically. Do you not agree that it would be in their best interest (and also yours) to have a good relationship with her?

While this is not legal advice, you really need to address your anger towards your former husband's family. Criticizing them to your children means that you are criticizing your children to themselves as well. I pity them.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Grandparents do not stop loving their grandchild just because the grandchild's parents are no longer on good terms. Wanting to see and hug a grandchild is not harassment but a normal emotion. The more loving, supportive people in a child's life, the better off they are.

Given your obvious animosity, it is possible that your actions are influencing the children's reactions to the grandmother. Since you appear to live in the same community, they are likely to see her periodically. Do you not agree that it would be in their best interest (and also yours) to have a good relationship with her?

While this is not legal advice, you really need to address your anger towards your former husband's family. Criticizing them to your children means that you are criticizing your children to themselves as well. I pity them.

The grandmother CHOSE to NOT have a relationship with the children. When grandma finds out that son TPR'd, THEN she decides she should see the children. She doesn't have an established relationship with them. She does NOT sound loving and supportive at. all.

 

[tornado88]

Can someone please tell me what the difference is between this poster's story and those that are told that if parental rights are removed then they no longer have children/grandchildren to see or take pictures of. I really expected someone to say that since the father gave up his parental rights then the grandmother no longer "had" grandchildren. Just trying to learn here. Thank you.

 

[Ilinfoplz]

The grandmother is not a loving person. She had no relationship with my ex husband or our family when we were married. After being married for almost 5 years I took the effort to try to build a relationship with this woman. We had not seen or heard from her in all that time. I called her, at that time, for the sake of my children. Even after making contact, we rarely saw or spoke to her. Once my ex and I divorced, she was nothing but hateful to me and my children. She referred to them as "flea bags." She called my 11 year old (she was 9 at the time) and during their conversation began calling me names and my daughter told her she wouldn't listen to it and hung up. The next time my kids went to their father's for visitation, they saw their grandmother and she yelled at my daughter and called her "fatty" and "stupid." It was so bad that my daughter was hysterical. My ex called me to come get her (that was the last time he got her, his choice). When I got there she was crying and scratching her face.

I went to pick the kids up one day and she didn't want to let me have them because my ex hadn't been there yet (he had 2 days but had spent them out drinking instead). I told her is wasn't my problem his time was up. She attempted to slam the door in my face, but i stuck my foot in the door to prevent it. At that point she smacked me in the head with a cordless phone. I got my children then got a restraining order. She was not allowed to see the children for 6 months. By that time my ex had stopped getting the children at all and within 6 months of that he had signed over his rights.

If she was a decent person it would be different. There are members of my ex's family who we see and have a good relationship with. The only reason she is showing up is to torment me and my children.

I understand that she can come to the public school programs but she showed up on Valentine's Day which is not open to the public only family members.

 

[AkersTile]

I'm thinking that you have enough to probably get a child protection order against Grandma. You can check with your county on that.

Wait for the Seniors to see what other responses you get though.

Good Luck!

 

[LdiJ]

The grandmother is not a loving person. She had no relationship with my ex husband or our family when we were married. After being married for almost 5 years I took the effort to try to build a relationship with this woman. We had not seen or heard from her in all that time. I called her, at that time, for the sake of my children. Even after making contact, we rarely saw or spoke to her. Once my ex and I divorced, she was nothing but hateful to me and my children. She referred to them as "flea bags." She called my 11 year old (she was 9 at the time) and during their conversation began calling me names and my daughter told her she wouldn't listen to it and hung up. The next time my kids went to their father's for visitation, they saw their grandmother and she yelled at my daughter and called her "fatty" and "stupid." It was so bad that my daughter was hysterical. My ex called me to come get her (that was the last time he got her, his choice). When I got there she was crying and scratching her face.

I went to pick the kids up one day and she didn't want to let me have them because my ex hadn't been there yet (he had 2 days but had spent them out drinking instead). I told her is wasn't my problem his time was up. She attempted to slam the door in my face, but i stuck my foot in the door to prevent it. At that point she smacked me in the head with a cordless phone. I got my children then got a restraining order. She was not allowed to see the children for 6 months. By that time my ex had stopped getting the children at all and within 6 months of that he had signed over his rights.

If she was a decent person it would be different. There are members of my ex's family who we see and have a good relationship with. The only reason she is showing up is to torment me and my children.

I understand that she can come to the public school programs but she showed up on Valentine's Day which is not open to the public only family members.

You tell the school that grandma is not to have access to the children at any time.

You go and get another restraining order since grandma is exhibiting harassing behavior again.

She has absolutely no relationship with the children so she could never win a visitation suit.