Chances of a Change in Custody

[allwipedout]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon & Florida

My daughter was born in Oregon and about a year later I met my husband. There was a custody battle (rightly worded) for her, to be able to leave Oregon and move to Florida with me, where my husband lived. I was awarded full custody of her.

Fast forward nearly 12 years.

Recently my husband and I have separated (officially on Feb 9), due to him having an affair. I moved back to Oregon with a son (8 yo) we had together, and my daughter (13 yo). (There are no legal papers between my husband and I regarded a divorce.)

After some consideration, my husband and I would like to try to reconcile our relationship in the near future, but my daughter has stated that she does not want to move back to Florida, and would rather live with her dad in Oregon.

If my daughter's dad decides to try to fight for a change of custody, what would be his chances of winning?

Thank you so much for any advice you can give!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon & Florida

My daughter was born in Oregon and about a year later I met my husband. There was a custody battle (rightly worded) for her, to be able to leave Oregon and move to Florida with me, where my husband lived. I was awarded full custody of her.

Fast forward nearly 12 years.

Recently my husband and I have separated (officially on Feb 9), due to him having an affair. I moved back to Oregon with a son (8 yo) we had together, and my daughter (13 yo). (There are no legal papers between my husband and I regarded a divorce.)

After some consideration, my husband and I would like to try to reconcile our relationship in the near future, but my daughter has stated that she does not want to move back to Florida, and would rather live with her dad in Oregon.

If my daughter's dad decides to try to fight for a change of custody, what would be his chances of winning?

Thank you so much for any advice you can give!

It really depends on how much the judge that gets assigned to your case, weighs in the wishes of teenagers.

Other than that, you have only been in Oregon for a few weeks. You will not establish residency there until you have been there at least six months. Therefore, it would be difficult for a judge to deny you the right to return to Florida with your child.

Why doesn't your daughter want to return to FL with you? Answer the question honestly, if only to yourself.

 

[allwipedout]

It really depends on how much the judge that gets assigned to your case, weighs in the wishes of teenagers.

Other than that, you have only been in Oregon for a few weeks. You will not establish residency there until you have been there at least six months. Therefore, it would be difficult for a judge to deny you the right to return to Florida with your child.

Why doesn't your daughter want to return to FL with you? Answer the question honestly, if only to yourself.

Thank you for your reply LdiJ

My daughter doesn't want to live in Florida because she thinks all of the people there are mean and that the people in Oregon are nice. She also has more friends and family in Oregon than she does in Florida, since her dad and his family, as well as mine, live in Oregon.

If I were to stay in Oregon, she would prefer to live with me.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your reply LdiJ

My daughter doesn't want to live in Florida because she thinks all of the people there are mean and that the people in Oregon are nice. She also has more friends and family in Oregon than she does in Florida, since her dad and his family, as well as mine, live in Oregon.

If I were to stay in Oregon, she would prefer to live with me.

It certainly sounds like she has valid reasons to want to remain in Oregon. You may end up having to make some hard choices. You may end losing custody of your daughter if you return to FL, and you might end up losing custody of your son if you remain in OR.

 

[nextwife]

It sure appears you have a history of uprooting and moving your kids on the basis of whatever your current relationship status may be. Rethink that approach. It's unfair to your kids and their respective fathers. First you moved daughter away from her dad for husband, then you moved them away from him, and child two away from their father because you no longer wanted THAT relationship. Now that daughter is getting settled into her new life, you want to uproot her yet again, again because of who you want to be with. Not fair to them. People can break up without moving across the country.

 

[Ohiogal]

It really depends on how much the judge that gets assigned to your case, weighs in the wishes of teenagers.

Other than that, you have only been in Oregon for a few weeks. You will not establish residency there until you have been there at least six months. Therefore, it would be difficult for a judge to deny you the right to return to Florida with your child.

Why doesn't your daughter want to return to FL with you? Answer the question honestly, if only to yourself.

Actually it wouldn't be difficult for the judge to deny her the right to take DAUGHTER back to Florida because Oregon is the state of jurisdiction because that is where the case started, where dad lives and where mom moved the child again.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually it wouldn't be difficult for the judge to deny her the right to take DAUGHTER back to Florida because Oregon is the state of jurisdiction because that is where the case started, where dad lives and where mom moved the child again.

I am going to disagree a little because they have only been in Oregon for two weeks...particularly if the 13 year old wanted to return to the state that has been her home for the last 12 years, back to her school, back to her friends etc.....even with OR having jurisdiction. Mom could easily argue that she never intended to remain in OR more than a few weeks.

However, I think that the fact that the 13 year old does NOT want to go back to FL may tips the scales in this case, even with the time frame being so short.

 

[allwipedout]

It sure appears you have a history of uprooting and moving your kids on the basis of whatever your current relationship status may be. Rethink that approach. It's unfair to your kids and their respective fathers. First you moved daughter away from her dad for husband, then you moved them away from him, and child two away from their father because you no longer wanted THAT relationship. Now that daughter is getting settled into her new life, you want to uproot her yet again, again because of who you want to be with. Not fair to them. People can break up without moving across the country.

Thank you for your reply nextwife

Yes, I have moved my daughter across country when she was young, but it was not a decision I made lightly. At the time her father had never showed any interest in being a part of her life (and still does not), and due to my husband's circumstances with his career, we felt it would be better to move to Florida.

I did not leave my husband and move back to Oregon because I no longer wanted to be in the relationship, it was his decision to end it. I then decided it would be best for the kids and I to move back to Oregon since I would be able to move in with my parents while I looked for a job, and I thought it would be a good idea for the kids to be able to spend time with my family.

As for my daughter not wanting to move to Florida, she felt this way for a long time. Most of the issues my daughter has with Florida are due to her own perception of things (Florida people are mean, Oregon people are nice), and she was in counseling while we lived in Florida to help her overcome some issues, including her unwillingness to make new friends. Just a few months ago though, my daughter had started to like living in Florida and had even said she might like to stay in Florida even after she turned 18. Now that we are back in Oregon however, she does not want to go back to Florida.

 

[CJane]

I think I remember you posting before about kiddo not liking Florida...

Regardless, you have not "moved back" to Oregon, and Dad could not prove that you have. MOST STATES refer to a "relocation" as a period of time longer than 90 days with the intention of it becoming permanent.

If you want to go back to FL, go sooner rather than later, and stay put this time.

 

[allwipedout]

I think I remember you posting before about kiddo not liking Florida...

Regardless, you have not "moved back" to Oregon, and Dad could not prove that you have. MOST STATES refer to a "relocation" as a period of time longer than 90 days with the intention of it becoming permanent.

If you want to go back to FL, go sooner rather than later, and stay put this time.

Thank you for your reply CJane and yes, I have posted before about my daughter.

If I have put in a change of address and informed my daughter's dad that I came to Oregon with the intention of moving here, how can I say that I came to Oregon for a temporary stay, or does it not matter what I have said or done as long as I have not been here for 90 days?

 

[poppabear]

Thank you for your reply CJane and yes, I have posted before about my daughter.

If I have put in a change of address and informed my daughter's dad that I came to Oregon with the intention of moving here, how can I say that I came to Oregon for a temporary stay, or does it not matter what I have said or done as long as I have not been here for 90 days?

If you've enrolled your children in school in OR already, you may not be able to. Do you have sole legal custody? If not, dad can certainly contest you changing DD's school again should you decide you want to move back to FL.

On the other hand, your husband has every right to file for divorce and to have your son returned to FL. You may need to do some serious thinking, because it appears you may have created a situation where you may need to choose which child you will be living with.

 

[allwipedout]

If you've enrolled your children in school in OR already, you may not be able to. Do you have sole legal custody? If not, dad can certainly contest you changing DD's school again should you decide you want to move back to FL.

On the other hand, your husband has every right to file for divorce and to have your son returned to FL. You may need to do some serious thinking, because it appears you may have created a situation where you may need to choose which child you will be living with.

Thank you for your reply poppabear

Yes, I have sole legal custody of my daughter.

I homeschool both of my kids, and we have not had a chance to meet with the local homeschool support group here yet, so the kids have not built any relationships in that regard.

I have no worries about losing custody of my son, my husband and I have discussed at length about the move to Oregon before we moved here, and he was, and still is, fully supportive of our being here if things do not work out.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for your reply CJane and yes, I have posted before about my daughter.

If I have put in a change of address and informed my daughter's dad that I came to Oregon with the intention of moving here, how can I say that I came to Oregon for a temporary stay, or does it not matter what I have said or done as long as I have not been here for 90 days?

You can't say that it was a vacation if you did several things. Those two you mentioned show your intent was for much longer.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you for your reply CJane and yes, I have posted before about my daughter.

If I have put in a change of address and informed my daughter's dad that I came to Oregon with the intention of moving here, how can I say that I came to Oregon for a temporary stay, or does it not matter what I have said or done as long as I have not been here for 90 days?

Do you really expect the members here to give you an idea how to misguide the Judge?

 

[allwipedout]

Do you really expect the members here to give you an idea how to misguide the Judge?

Absolutely not. I think you misinterpreted what I was saying. I was not saying "how can I" as in 'please give me directions on how to', rather I meant, I do not see how I could say that I was only coming to Oregon for a temporary stay, when I had, and showed, full intentions of moving to Oregon permanently.