Am I being unreasonable?

[mommyof3jkc]

not sure if this helps...

I waited until my kids were ready to change schools (middle school to high school) where everyone was going to different school anyway (it was a magnet school so not a school of residence) and I was able to show the court and NCP's attorney how much better the area was, the local high school had a 98% college bound rate after graduation and it was in the top 1400 high schools in the nation. My son was in the GATE program and the API scores were almost double. My whole family lived in the same area we were moving to and we were able to show that the move was in the best interest of the child and that because the majority of the families that lived in the area we were commuting to work the same length of time it would take for the NCP to pick up child, it was granted. We also had a custody evaluation that actually recommended a move...I was also getting remarried and my current husband's entire family lives in the area we moved to so there was so much more support. The NCP has no attachments to the area. and had quit his very nice payimg job to take a part time job as a cashier at WalMart. Everything was fine 2 years ago, but now NCP has a new attorney and will most probably be fighting that because I made the move, I will now have to do all the transporting. Not sure if that is even ok after a judgement already set things up. but I guess we will see. Because I am a teacher education and the right schools are always important to me....

 

[MoJo1616]

OP, regarding the harassment and stalking. Make a journal & take photos, keep his emails and then after a couple of months, go back to court and get a restraining order.

If he breaks the RO then have him arrested and go back to court for contempt for breaking the RO.

I have already done this I have 13 pages of him "not keeping his distance" but because he has never physically hurt me can't get a RO. I have 75 emails he wrote me in one months save and printed. He literally lives RIGHT down the street. When I put the kids on the bus I can see his mothers house, the judge knew all of this before he made his ruling and still I am here?!? I have written statements from the garbage company that she (sorry his girlfriend) was in my dumpster not 5 mins. after they picked it up. It may sound stupid " Oh he's going through my garbage" *insert whine* but really its creepy that she would want to for him IDK all the other things that he has done or had his GF or Mom do it is uncomfortable for me. BUT it's not the reason I want to go. The other area is so much nicer, and my kids loved it there. They are often upset with me because they didn't want to come back to this house.

 

[MoJo1616]

I have one child in 3rd grade and another in preK. I have heard, and this is strictly hearsay, not legal advice from anyone nor take that way, that because there is no "true" county for the kids there shouldn't be any ruling restricting them to one. And please correct this if it's wrong, not yell at me i am not stupid by any means , as I said it is hearsay but one has to wonder...

 

[Radia]

no "true" county for the kids? There should be one...

Was the divorce/custody filed in the same county as the marital home? If so that would be the kids "county", especially if there are restrictions for filing in your county based on length of residency.

A judge told you to live in the home... I would call that a restriction.

 

[MoJo1616]

no "true" county for the kids? There should be one...

Was the divorce/custody filed in the same county as the marital home? If so that would be the kids "county", especially if there are restrictions for filing in your county based on length of residency.

A judge told you to live in the home... I would call that a restriction.

I actually filed for divorce in a neighboring county. We lived in a different county when the kids were born over half their lives so that is where the problem is. My oldest is 8 so for 4 years he lived in another county 4 years in this county.
I was wondering if filing to just move into a nearby county would be something that would be smarter, rather than 2 hours away?
mommyof3jkc a question for you:
Does being remarried help at all? Not that I plan on finding a new hubby for a "green card" so to speak. But who knows down the line.

 

[Ohiogal]

I actually filed for divorce in a neighboring county. We lived in a different county when the kids were born over half their lives so that is where the problem is. My oldest is 8 so for 4 years he lived in another county 4 years in this county.
I was wondering if filing to just move into a nearby county would be something that would be smarter, rather than 2 hours away?
mommyof3jkc a question for you:
Does being remarried help at all? Not that I plan on finding a new hubby for a "green card" so to speak. But who knows down the line.

The county where it should have been filed was the county in which the children lived preceding the filing. Mainly the one with the marital residence. Why did you file in a neighboring county?

 

[MoJo1616]

The county where it should have been filed was the county in which the children lived preceding the filing. Mainly the one with the marital residence. Why did you file in a neighboring county?

Here's how that saga goes:
When I left the home we were not divorced, I was still unsure of things and just wanted time alone to sort things out. There was still a chance of fixing things at the time, we did try to talk when I would come home, but always ended in a fight. Things changed, well didn't change I guess is the case. I went to see an attorney in the county I was currently living to see about filing for divorce and she said that I had to be living in that county for at least 6 months before she could file in that county. She could do this because after 6 months you are considered a residence. What that would have done was make him come to my county for court. I was ordered back before my 6 months. I came back for a few weeks and stayed with my Mom and went to see an attorney recommended by a friend. This attorney did NOTHING but waste my money. She never filed for custody along with the divorce and never filed for any kind of support like I thought I was paying her to do. My Mom lives on the county line so from one town to the next is a different county. I went to an attorney in the opposite county and he just file through that county's court.
As you all can tell, I'm sure, I am new to this law thing. Never been inside a court until now no speeding tickets, nothing. I am law stupid. All I do know is that my ex has 30 days to sign or not to sign before I can file "no fault" and get the divorce, with or with out his consent. I want NOTHING. No 50% of his 401k, not the house, not his truck, he drained our joint account so I can't get any of that. All I am asking for is the choice to move and yes take the kids that I have raised from birth with me.
Beings that the county the divorce is file in is different from the county the kids live in does this make a difference?

 

[MichaCA]

I don't understand the thing with different counties...are you living in your marital home with the kids now or not? And you moved the kids back to their original schools (??)

I'm not a legal expert at all, just know a little about moveaways...I think you need a very GOOD attorney (go interview a few) to represent you before you go to court. What a previous poster stated about her success moving away with the courts permission says a lot...the information she showed up front. For example, when you file a motion to move, put it up front that one of the reasons is what you just said...you and father had already been looking into the area for reasons of decency and safety...thats one reason. You need to look into the schools and be able to show they can provide more than the schools in the kids' area now. (I floundered when presenting my facts about proposed new area...duh) Again, that doesn't guarantee anything but you need a case.

IMO, I would keep complaints about dad in one paragraph, including whatever court statements/orders have been made around his unaddressed drinking issue.

Present your visitation plan in the motion.

Provide a VERY generous - towards dad- transportation schedule.

One detail suggested to me; if you find a job in the area that pays significantly better/has benefits for the kids and there are no similar existing jobs where you are now, can help.

So far, to move to a safer area TWO HOURS AWAY from childrens father is prob not enough...surely there are safe areas where you live now? You need to present more info., be better prepared.

What did the judge say the reasoning was that you were ordered back to the marital home? Was that a temp measure simply until the divorce/decisions as to what happens to the marital home?

 

[stealth2]

Honestly? I think all this moving around is going to bite you.

And expect, IF the judge allows you to move, ro be doing all transportation for visitation.

 

[MoJo1616]

Yes I am in the marital home now. It is my oldest original school. My youngest just started this year. The county line is 9 miles up the road. It's odd here. In the county my Mother lives in there are 4 school districts. The district my kids go to now is one of them, but yet I was ordered in the home. Why I don't know. The judge at the end of the hearing stated that "If Mr. ***** Wants his wife here she shall be here" (then went on to say the he is liable for ALL bills concerning the home) My new attorney thinks he may have done this to show my ex that it is not going to be easy paying for me to live. He ordered my ex to move back in with mommy and why he did that I do not know (?)
As far as I know my new attorney is the best in the area. He is new to my case and hasn't been able to do to much as of yet.
I know it sounds it but I am not just a nomad. We have been in this house now for 4 years almost 5 years (my ex was in the military so moving is nothing to me) I want to find a nice place, with a great school district to raise my kids. I Know I still have to raise them with him but do we really need to be neighbors?
I am willing to pay transportation. I drove them both ways before I will do it again if it gets out of this neighborhood. As it stand now my ex's father has to come get the kids and bring them back. My ex is not allowed here at all.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes I am in the marital home now. It is my oldest original school. My youngest just started this year. The county line is 9 miles up the road. It's odd here. In the county my Mother lives in there are 4 school districts. The district my kids go to now is one of them, but yet I was ordered in the home. Why I don't know. The judge at the end of the hearing stated that "If Mr. ***** Wants his wife here she shall be here" (then went on to say the he is liable for ALL bills concerning the home) My new attorney thinks he may have done this to show my ex that it is not going to be easy paying for me to live. He ordered my ex to move back in with mommy and why he did that I do not know (?)
As far as I know my new attorney is the best in the area. He is new to my case and hasn't been able to do to much as of yet.
I know it sounds it but I am not just a nomad. We have been in this house now for 4 years almost 5 years (my ex was in the military so moving is nothing to me) I want to find a nice place, with a great school district to raise my kids. I Know I still have to raise them with him but do we really need to be neighbors?
I am willing to pay transportation. I drove them both ways before I will do it again if it gets out of this neighborhood. As it stand now my ex's father has to come get the kids and bring them back. My ex is not allowed here at all.

The judge couldn't legally order your ex to move in with mommy because mommy is NOT a party to the order. Also, you filed in the wrong county and I am surprised that no one moved for a change of venue to the county where the marital home is located.

 

[MoJo1616]

Here is what the order states word for word. (Of course I am not going to include my name, my children, or address)

It is directed that Jane Doe return with the children by _______to the residence in ___ county, of PA. Temporally that residence is________, the former marital residence. Jane Doe is granted exclusive possession to the marital residence if she chooses to reside there with the children.
The children's father, John Doe shall obtain residence with, his parents names & their address, for the duration of this time. Visitations will be supervised by John Doe's parent(s) until further notice.
John Doe will obtain counselor relative to his mental health and alcohol related issues as soon as possible. Said counselor will provide periodic reports to his counselor who will in turn provide the report to Ms. Doe's attorney. No longer than 1 month with out report.
then it goes into visitation scheduling and laws of joint custody, school district the kids are to enroll in ect, ect...
So am I reading wrong or is that an order for him to remain at his parents house?
No change of venue was ever filed. After all ex got what he wanted so is there a need to change it? It won't help my case out. *Both county's share judges depending on the case (criminal or civil). So does that make a difference? The judge on my case has an office in both court houses which is common here. My attorney has duel offices as well. Small Town USA here.

 

[Ohiogal]

Here is what the order states word for word. (Of course I am not going to include my name, my children, or address)

It is directed that Jane Doe return with the children by _______to the residence in ___ county, of PA. Temporally that residence is________, the former marital residence. Jane Doe is granted exclusive possession to the marital residence if she chooses to reside there with the children.
The children's father, John Doe shall obtain residence with, his parents names & their address, for the duration of this time. Visitations will be supervised by John Doe's parent(s) until further notice.
John Doe will obtain counselor relative to his mental health and alcohol related issues as soon as possible. Said counselor will provide periodic reports to his counselor who will in turn provide the report to Ms. Doe's attorney. No longer than 1 month with out report.
then it goes into visitation scheduling and laws of joint custody, school district the kids are to enroll in ect, ect...
So am I reading wrong or is that an order for him to remain at his parents house?

That is what it says but it is an illegal order because his parents are NOT party to the order and they can NOT be forced to supervise visits OR house him. No where does it state that he is to pay the bills of the marital residence in what you quoted btw.

No change of venue was ever filed. After all ex got what he wanted so is there a need to change it?

It is too late to file a change of venue because both of you consented to this court being the proper venue.

It won't help my case out. *Both county's share judges depending on the case (criminal or civil). So does that make a difference? The judge on my case has an office in both court houses which is common here. My attorney has duel offices as well. Small Town USA here.

It may make a difference to the court itself due to the fact that the counties do not share budgets. Nor do they share funding.

 

[MoJo1616]

Where do I go from here if it is an illegal order? My new attorney hasn't been on my case long. He has just filed for me to leave the marital home and were awaiting court date and such. I'm trying to look into the laws myself so I don't look stupid.
And I do see what your saying on the bill part. My attorney brought it to the attention of the judge that because I would be leaving my current job and returning to the marital home I would have to seek employment before I could pay utilities. So here there is a different letter which states that, it is in with DR. My attorney has also filed APL on my behalf.
My ex lied in court and told the CS officer that "he caught me in another man's bed" **back round on that: I went to stay at a family friends house and yes it is a male, since my ex refused spend his time with the kids, he left them at his mothers house and kept coming in the house to argue with me. So I called said friend and asked if I could "hide out" at his house, he was in TX at the time. My ex hunted me down and came to friend's house. I was sleeping in a spare room** Well DR declined spousal support, my lawyer is fighting that as well because it was denied under false terms.

My other lawyer just filed. She assumed that it was in the county she was. I did not know this until I hired current attorney.
Sorry to be so clueless
I just want to do things right. And until I know what I'm dealing with I have no idea what that is

 

[Ohiogal]

Where do I go from here if it is an illegal order? My new attorney hasn't been on my case long. He has just filed for me to leave the marital home and were awaiting court date and such. I'm trying to look into the laws myself so I don't look stupid.

If hubby fights that order it will be struck down. You cannot get him for contempt if he is NOT staying with his parents.

And I do see what your saying on the bill part. My attorney brought it to the attention of the judge that because I would be leaving my current job and returning to the marital home I would have to seek employment before I could pay utilities. So here there is a different letter which states that, it is in with DR.

A different letter? What type of letter?

My attorney has also filed APL on my behalf.

Should we guess what APL is?

My ex lied in court and told the CS officer that "he caught me in another man's bed" **back round on that: I went to stay at a family friends house and yes it is a male, since my ex refused spend his time with the kids, he left them at his mothers house and kept coming in the house to argue with me. So I called said friend and asked if I could "hide out" at his house, he was in TX at the time. My ex hunted me down and came to friend's house. I was sleeping in a spare room** Well DR declined spousal support, my lawyer is fighting that as well because it was denied under false terms.

A few things: you were sleeping at another man's house. That is true. It was a bed owned by that man. he may not have caught you having sex but you were at another man's home sleeping in that man's bed. Why should you get spousal support if the court has ordered him to pay the bills? Or wasn't he ORDERED to pay the bills?

My other lawyer just filed. She assumed that it was in the county she was. I did not know this until I hired current attorney.

She assumed what was in the county she was? Did not know WHAT until you hired your current attorney?

Sorry to be so clueless
I just want to do things right. And until I know what I'm dealing with I have no idea what that is

Until YOU explain and clarify you are going to confuse us all.