Curious

[Ilinfoplz]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
My husband gets his son EOW. He does not work weekends however he is constantly leaving his son with me while he does other things. It's not for an hour or two but the whole day on Saturdays. My question is since this is supposed to be his time with his son but he isn't spending it with him can I call his ex and have her pick him up? You guys are always saying that the step parent is a legal stranger so why should I have to watch his kid? The child has sever ADHD and refuses to listen to me. He is constantly hurting my children. He choked my 6 year old and cut him. He pushes my 1 year old to the floor and tried to kick her but I got to her in time. He is 7yo and I can not handle him. I have spoken to my husband about it but he doesn't seem to grasp the issue. He keeps pushing the kid off on me. I'm just curious as to what I should do. Thank you.

 

[Rushia]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
My husband gets his son EOW. He does not work weekends however he is constantly leaving his son with me while he does other things. It's not for an hour or two but the whole day on Saturdays. My question is since this is supposed to be his time with his son but he isn't spending it with him can I call his ex and have her pick him up? You guys are always saying that the step parent is a legal stranger so why should I have to watch his kid? The child has sever ADHD and refuses to listen to me. He is constantly hurting my children. He choked my 6 year old and cut him. He pushes my 1 year old to the floor and tried to kick her but I got to her in time. He is 7yo and I can not handle him. I have spoken to my husband about it but he doesn't seem to grasp the issue. He keeps pushing the kid off on me. I'm just curious as to what I should do. Thank you.

Put your foot down and tell DH to spend time with his child and that you don't want to watch him.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
My husband gets his son EOW. He does not work weekends however he is constantly leaving his son with me while he does other things. It's not for an hour or two but the whole day on Saturdays. My question is since this is supposed to be his time with his son but he isn't spending it with him can I call his ex and have her pick him up? You guys are always saying that the step parent is a legal stranger so why should I have to watch his kid? The child has sever ADHD and refuses to listen to me. He is constantly hurting my children. He choked my 6 year old and cut him. He pushes my 1 year old to the floor and tried to kick her but I got to her in time. He is 7yo and I can not handle him. I have spoken to my husband about it but he doesn't seem to grasp the issue. He keeps pushing the kid off on me. I'm just curious as to what I should do. Thank you.

What you need to do is put your foot down with your husband and make it clear that you will not watch his child.

 

[Zigner]

You can call the mother and ASK her to pick him up. But, if she says no, then you have to talk to your husband. Do as the others have suggested.

 

[stealth2]

If I were in your shoes, I'd get your kids up and head out the door before his son gets there. Do you have family close by? Friends you could have a sleepover with? Your husband is obviously not getting the point - time to let him deal with it himself.

Otherwise? I would absolutely call Mom. I would not necessarily be confrontational and tell her she must come get the child, but I would explain the situation, that her ex is not available to care for the child, and you have other plans so ... If need be? Hire someone to watch the kiddo and tell Dad it's on him.

 

[Ohiogal]

Actually I wouldn't take it up with MOM. I would take it up with HUBBY. Hubby needs to grow up and be a parent. OP should let her hubby know that she IS NOT a babysitting service for his child during his visitation and unless he decides to parent said child during his weekends, then dad should leave the child at mom's. Then she should make sure that on the next weekend, she leaves with her children when son gets there for a few hours, returning just before bedtime. If dad is going to leave during the weekend for fun and giggles, then OP needs to tell him that HIS CHILD goes with HIM.

 

[Just Blue]

The posting Hx of this member will raise MANY questions.

 

[Ohiogal]

The many questions:
How many marriages has she had? How many ex husband's does she have? Is the husband above the one she was threatening to divorce in one of her other threads -- the one who hasn't been working?
How many children are there?Why does she want to contact the ex wife to criticize her husband?

Should I keep going?

 

[Ilinfoplz]

I have 1 ex husband who I was married to for 9 years. He and I divorced because he became an alcoholic and became violent. The first time he put his hands on me (there were 6 witnesses) he was arrested and I moved my stuff out of the house the next week. We had 2 children together. Since our divorce he has moved who knows where and CSE is trying to find him as we speak because he owes over $20,000 in back child support and I have a court order to prove it. He also signed his parental rights away after I was remarried, I guess he and the court system assumed my now husband was going to adopt them (this was never brought up to me before I received the relinquishment papers from the court in a different county than I live).

My husband now and I have been married for almost 2 years. We have 1 child together. He has 2 children from 2 previous relationships (not marriages). We have known each other and been friends since we were 10yo. He and I have been having some problems, which I believe is because of the medications that he is currently on. The doctor put him on Lyrica about 6 months ago and it has turned him into someone I don't know. I have been considering leaving him because he has become verbally abusive and I don't like the yelling and name calling around my children. He just started getting disability payments, before that he never contributed to the family income (he had good reason he is disabled). It does however get very frustrating to be the one working to pay the bills all by myself. When I was the only one bringing in the money it was always OUR money, now that he is finally bringing in some dough it's now HIS money.

And I don't want to say anything about my husband to his ex I just am tired of watching his kid while he goes golfing or fishing or whatever. He doesn't keep my kids but expects me to keep his. I have talked to him over and over about this for the last several months. This morning HIS son punched a hole in MY wall. When I asked him why he said he felt like it. I immediately called my husband and he didn't answer. At this very minute I am watching HIS son while my hubby is out "helping a friend." Another thing is I have no problem watching his other child, she gives me no trouble at all. She always listens and is a delight to have around. It's only this boy who is violent and no one can handle.

 

[Ohiogal]

So maybe you need to talk to dad about having boy evaluated for psychological/psychiatric issues. Or maybe you ought to tell dad that if his son does ANYTHING that destroys property or harms someone that you WILL call and have child arrested for assault or vandalism -- whichever -- if dad is not home to handle it. Then follow through.

 

[frylover]

So maybe you need to talk to dad about having boy evaluated for psychological/psychiatric issues. Or maybe you ought to tell dad that if his son does ANYTHING that destroys property or harms someone that you WILL call and have child arrested for assault or vandalism -- whichever -- if dad is not home to handle it. Then follow through.

I am not a lawyer but I wholeheartedly agree that you talk to dad about getting this child some help because it sounds like he needs it. Not only for the child himself but for the daughter the two of you have together....because if you do divorce dad and his visitation with the two children coincide and child becomes violent with his sister, you won't be there to intervene.