What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VT...My ex called me last night. I have 3 kids with him. He has custody, I pay child support. My monthly child support is based on my income. My daughter turned 18 and on her own since last year, my autistic son turns 18 this June but still in high school, and my youngest son will be 18 next year. I see my kids all the time. Plus I have not modified since my daughter turned 18 since my child support would probably stay the same anyways. My issue is when my ex called me last night he wanted to let me know that I will be paying child support on our autistic son until he is 21. I said why 21? In Vermont it's 18 or high school, whichever comes last. He said he has decided to keep him in a program at the high school until he is 21 and that will ensure I am paying child support until then. Now putting it that way pissed me off. Sorry, but it did. I pay diligently but I also have 2 children with my husband of 11 years and we are struggling while my ex has a big house and lots of money. I am not saying I am not happy for him, I am glad his life has been so easy for him since he had our children living with him. But, I thought after my autistic son turned 18 and was done with high school he would be on social security and SSI and my husband and I would be able to have some financial relief. Does anyone know what the Vermont laws state in regards to this? I have looked but cannot find an answer. Thank you for your help Faith
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cs to 21?
- Thread starter faithnlve
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LdiJ
Senior Member
I think that you should speak to a local attorney. They will have a better idea of whether or not your ex is telling you the truth. How severe is your son's autism?
He is at the highest end of the spectrum. He will need lifetime care. He lives with his dad. He turns 18 this year, and I do want more involvement in his care when he becomes an adult. His father and I do not get along, as much as I have tried. It's a constant battle of me wanting more time and say. I know as a parent I am responsible for child support, but I always thought once he was 18 and considered disabled he would be getting adult services no matter which parent he lived with. I think if both of us as parents are responsible for him I should have a right to some decisions once he turns 18. It is not fair that as a noncustodial parent I am stuck paying child support into his adult life once he has reached the age of majority. I would prefer a 50/50 arrangement so that both parents can share what his needs are. We are below medium income where my ex has so much more he can offer him. Yet, I also have two young children and we are stuck in a lower income and cannot get ahead until child support has stopped. We cannot even afford to buy a home for our family because my child support wipes my income out by 50%. I have always spent time with my kids, and paid my child support. Just wondering how it works if my ex makes a decision on keeping him in high school until 21 if that is fair to me. My ex won't even let him graduate with his class. Says it's stupid and since he plans on keeping him in this program they have in high school (which I never heard of) that I will have to pay (he laughs while saying this) until he is done at 21. thanks again
goddessoflubboc
Member
You'd be lucky to get off at 21. You say your son is at the highest end of the spectrum, followed by saying he'll need care his entire life. I presume you mean he is low-functioning (all phrases I hate, btw...).
If your child has a disability diagnosed before age 18 that is lifetime and will prevent him from living on his own, you should be ordered to pay ongoing cs. This is regardless of any state or federal benefits he is entitled to (which, depending on dad's household income, he could receive SSI as a minor).
Having an autistic child in the household is very stressful. In many cases no matter how old they get, there is no change in their behavior or functioning level. Meaning for dad to go out he needs care for your son. Many districts have ongoing programs for children with developmental disabilities that keep them in the school program until 21. These focus on teaching the kids skills for living - safety around a stove, social skills, riding mass transit, things they need to possibly move on to either a group home or independent living. This is a very good thing for your son.
If your child has a disability diagnosed before age 18 that is lifetime and will prevent him from living on his own, you should be ordered to pay ongoing cs. This is regardless of any state or federal benefits he is entitled to (which, depending on dad's household income, he could receive SSI as a minor).
Having an autistic child in the household is very stressful. In many cases no matter how old they get, there is no change in their behavior or functioning level. Meaning for dad to go out he needs care for your son. Many districts have ongoing programs for children with developmental disabilities that keep them in the school program until 21. These focus on teaching the kids skills for living - safety around a stove, social skills, riding mass transit, things they need to possibly move on to either a group home or independent living. This is a very good thing for your son.
He has been in such programs. My concern is that my child support has always been based on what dad and mom have for incomes. Mine is substantially lower than dad's but the percentage is figured based on income combined and number of kids. BUT, what I really want to know is this, if in fact the state can rule that I as a non custodial parent has to continue paying child support after the age of majority, then shouldn't I also have the right to equal guardianship once he meets the age of majority as well?
goddessoflubboc
Member
You need a different perspective. The courts look at this for the best interest of the child.
They will not order an adult child to visitation. In this case even less so since change in routine can be deleterious.
Continued enrollment in school can only benefit your child.
They will not order an adult child to visitation. In this case even less so since change in routine can be deleterious.
Continued enrollment in school can only benefit your child.
You may well be responsible for paying support for the rest of this child's life, though you can get it modified to reflect this one child when all others age out. And why shouldn't you pay? The father will be caring for him his whole life, as would you both if you were together... It is your responsibility too!
If the child cannot make his own decisions (adult that is mentally incapacitated) a court ordered visitation may be possible.
If the child cannot make his own decisions (adult that is mentally incapacitated) a court ordered visitation may be possible.
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