Ex husband wants to move

[kscheihing]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? texas
My ex husband and i have joint custody of our son. My son lives with his father in oklahoma. My ex is now wanting to apply to a medical school in the bahamas and wants to take my son with him. He is promising me that he will fly him to see me and i will have extended time with him. If we get the new visitation documented legally here in the US, will that be legally binding in the Bahamas?

 

[kscheihing]

please reply!

someone reply on this...please! i need it!

 

[Silverplum]

NO, do NOT agree to this

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? texas
My ex husband and i have joint custody of our son. My son lives with his father in oklahoma. My ex is now wanting to apply to a medical school in the bahamas and wants to take my son with him. He is promising me that he will fly him to see me and i will have extended time with him. If we get the new visitation documented legally here in the US, will that be legally binding in the Bahamas?

According to this site:
http://travel.state.gov/family/abduction/country/country_529.html

"The Bahamas is currently listed as a country of concern in the State Department''s Compliance Report, which is submitted to Congress on a yearly basis, for their implementation of the Hague Convention for the return of children to the United States. Hague applications sent to The Bahamas for return of abducted children have not been acted on for years; Bahamian courts have then refused to order the return of abducted children on the grounds that they have become acclimated to life in The Bahamas."

I wouldn't agree to it at all, if I were you!!! You have no reason to believe you would be given support by the Bahamian govt to see or retrieve your child.

And ANY changes in your case should not just be "documented," but signed by a Judge or Magistrate in your family court case. Notarization is not enough. Only a court order is enforceable, ever, okay? Do NOT settle for less.

If you want custody, this might be a golden opportunity to try for it. Talk with a couple of local family law attorneys in the state that issued the current custody order.

 

[Silverplum]

someone reply on this...please! i need it!

Everyone is a volunteer: we get here when we get here, and we post what we know.

At least you didn't get an incorrect response from a newbie trying to up his/her post count, or to tell you their long and pointless story.

 

[kscheihing]

Thank you

thank you so much for the information. i have always been one to try and do everything to keep the peace as i feel this is best for my son. My ex is very manipulative and is wanting me to just "trust him" that he will make sure i see him. He says he has never screwed me over before so i have no reason to think he would do it now. I want to keep the peace, yes, and it would give me more time with my son, yes, but something just does not feel right. If i were to even consider it i want something LEGAL behind me regarding visitation. If there is no way for me to get that, then theres no way i'm agreeing to letting him go.

also, another question that has been looming in my mind... with us having joint custody, he cant just take my son without my consent, correct?

 

[Proserpina]

thank you so much for the information. i have always been one to try and do everything to keep the peace as i feel this is best for my son. My ex is very manipulative and is wanting me to just "trust him" that he will make sure i see him. He says he has never screwed me over before so i have no reason to think he would do it now. I want to keep the peace, yes, and it would give me more time with my son, yes, but something just does not feel right. If i were to even consider it i want something LEGAL behind me regarding visitation. If there is no way for me to get that, then theres no way i'm agreeing to letting him go.

also, another question that has been looming in my mind... with us having joint custody, he cant just take my son without my consent, correct?

Legally no. But as a practical matter your husband can take him without your knowledge and getting him back would present a problem.

Does your son have a passport? While the State won't revoke an already-issued passport, you can prevent one from being issued or renewed without your consent; go here for more details: Children's Passport Issuance Alert Program

 

[kscheihing]

He does not have a passport. I had been told that they would not issue him a passport without my consent but i was not sure how true this was.

 

[Silverplum]

You're very welcome!

PLEASE consult with an attorney (or two) to discuss ways to keep your son with you in the US. It really might be time for you to take primary custody.

And really -- if Dad plans to go to MEDICAL school, anywhere, CAN he be the child's primary custodian? Really?

I don't think so.

thank you so much for the information. i have always been one to try and do everything to keep the peace as i feel this is best for my son. My ex is very manipulative and is wanting me to just "trust him" that he will make sure i see him. He says he has never screwed me over before so i have no reason to think he would do it now. I want to keep the peace, yes, and it would give me more time with my son, yes, but something just does not feel right. If i were to even consider it i want something LEGAL behind me regarding visitation. If there is no way for me to get that, then theres no way i'm agreeing to letting him go.

also, another question that has been looming in my mind... with us having joint custody, he cant just take my son without my consent, correct?

 

[Silverplum]

He does not have a passport. I had been told that they would not issue him a passport without my consent but i was not sure how true this was.

Please DO use the link that Proserpina posted to make sure the passport is not issued.

It's up to YOU to be proactive.

 

[kscheihing]

Please DO use the link that Proserpina posted to make sure the passport is not issued.

It's up to YOU to be proactive.

Thank you both so very much. I'm just lost in all of this and i want to be as informed as possible. I do not anticipate him taking my son without my consent but you are VERY right, i need to be proactive in this. I would like to believe that i could trust him to make sure i see my son if i agreed to this, but somehow i just do not feel right about it.

Also, our divorce was done in oklahoma as that was our residence at the time. I have since moved back to Texas. Should i contact a lawyer in oklahoma? or would one here in texas be ok?

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you both so very much. I'm just lost in all of this and i want to be as informed as possible. I do not anticipate him taking my son without my consent but you are VERY right, i need to be proactive in this. I would like to believe that i could trust him to make sure i see my son if i agreed to this, but somehow i just do not feel right about it.

Also, our divorce was done in oklahoma as that was our residence at the time. I have since moved back to Texas. Should i contact a lawyer in oklahoma? or would one here in texas be ok?

Ideally Oklahoma because that's where Dad and kiddo are and that's where Dad would have to be served.

I honestly think this is absolutely grounds to modify custody - so get on it

(And you're very welcome!)

 

[kscheihing]

Thank you both. from the bottom of my heart. it is very hard for me to stand up against him but i feel better having some information as backup.

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you both. from the bottom of my heart. it is very hard for me to stand up against him but i feel better having some information as backup.

You're entirely welcome, and we wish you good luck.

You're why I'm here.

 

[Proserpina]

You're entirely welcome, and we wish you good luck.

You're why I'm here.

Heartily seconded!