control of arrears?

[californiamom3]

Dad was told by the clerk at the DCSS office that as the recipient of child support, I am in control of arrears...I can forgive all, some, interest, etc.
I was not aware of this. Is it true?
I have scoured the DCSS website and have not been able to find this info.
Thanks ahead of time for any information.

 

[Isis1]

Dad was told by the clerk at the DCSS office that as the recipient of child support, I am in control of arrears...I can forgive all, some, interest, etc.
I was not aware of this. Is it true?
I have scoured the DCSS website and have not been able to find this info.
Thanks ahead of time for any information.

if the state is not involved, you can absolutely forgive all the arrears.

 

[californiamom3]

if the state is not involved, you can absolutely forgive all the arrears.

By "state" do you mean medical and such?


Another question to add.
I read this, "However, when its ordered in Indiana the orders are explicit that the ncp only gets the exemption if the ncp is CURRENT with child support."
in another thread regarding tax filing and exemptions.
Is this true for California as well?

 

[Isis1]

By "state" do you mean medical and such?


Another question to add.
I read this, "However, when its ordered in Indiana the orders are explicit that the ncp only gets the exemption if the ncp is CURRENT with child support."
in another thread regarding tax filing and exemptions.
Is this true for California as well?

medical, foodstamps, cash benefits.

in ca, it depends on the wording of the court order. it can be ordered both ways, in regards to the tx question. which leads me to believe there is no default law on it..if there is, i haven't found it yet...son don't quote me on it just yet.

 

[californiamom3]

Regarding the "state aide".
The children and I were on MediCal during some of the time he is asking me to forgive.
So to understand this correctly, I can NOT forgive if we were on State Aide?
Is there an official site I can direct him towards in order to show him this?
He wouldn't believe it if I just tell him.

 

[Gracie3787]

Regarding the "state aide".
The children and I were on MediCal during some of the time he is asking me to forgive.
So to understand this correctly, I can NOT forgive if we were on State Aide?
Is there an official site I can direct him towards in order to show him this?
He wouldn't believe it if I just tell him.

You can forgive any monies owed to you, but you cannot forgive any monies owed to the state.

The first thing to do will be to contact the CSE agency to find out what is owed to the state, which may or may not be the entire arrearage. The state will have to be paid first, once they are paid off, the rest will be owed to you and at that time you can forgive if you wish. However, I don't believe that you can forgive until after the state has been paid.

 

[EnforceSupport]

I'm a little confused as to where the order originates from; I'll assume California for purposes of this post.

I'm going to respectfully disagree with some of the prior posts.

First, the assignment of your rights to child support to the state, which occurs as a matter of law, ONLY occurs on the receipt of CASH aid (TANF, formerlly, AFDC.) There is no assignmnet on receipt of food stamps nor medical services. If there was cash aid received, you can explain to him that the reason you have no 'control' over those arrears is because you do not have a right to them, since they have been assigned. (However, this is actually a very complicated area of the law and there are many variations of assignment, temporary, permanent, partial, etc. - based mostly on when the aid was paid and the federal and state stautory schemes then in effect. What I'm trying to say is that if cash aid was paid, depending on your 'on' and 'off' dates, you may have a right to seek collection for the amounts that accrued under your judgment. I'm not going to detail this anymore because it doesn't sound like you recieved cash aid anyway.)

if the state is not involved, you can absolutely forgive all the arrears.

Secondly, I disagree with the broad post quoted above. Simply said, the state of the law with regard to waiver of support arrears is unsettled at this time. In fact, prevailing case law would suggest that such arrears actually owed (as opposed to those subject to a dispute), cannot be waived. This is mostly from a policy perspective that support is owed for the benefit of the child.

As a practical matter, if you were to waive them and close your DCSS case (assuming no current support), and, you never pursued them again, they are waived.

If there is no current support owed, and, for some reason, you do wish to release the DCSS pressure on your ex, you may simply close your DCSS case, without waiving the arrears, thus, enabling you to seek enforcement in the future, if you so desired. (But, if you do this, you should make it clear to your ex that you are not waiving them.)

Good luck to you.

 

[californiamom3]

My case worker finally returned my call.
I did not receive money from the state, only Medi-Cal.
He does not owe the state any money.
I have many options. Forgive interest only, $20grand, or whatever.
Thanks for the information.
Any ideas on the 2nd question?
or should I put it on the tax thread?

I read this, "However, when its ordered in Indiana the orders are explicit that the ncp only gets the exemption if the ncp is CURRENT with child support."
in another thread regarding tax filing and exemptions.
Is this true for California as well?

 

[EnforceSupport]

I'd like to remind you of the obvious, namely, none of us ever know what the future will hold. If you are considering waiving because you are not in need of the money right now, I understand. However, I will share with you that I have seen others waive support, only to regret it later when college tution, medical expenses or other needs arise.

May I be so presumptuous as to ask, why are you considering waiving support?

 

[californiamom3]

I'd like to remind you of the obvious, namely, none of us ever know what the future will hold. If you are considering waiving because you are not in need of the money right now, I understand. However, I will share with you that I have seen others waive support, only to regret it later when college tution, medical expenses or other needs arise.

May I be so presumptuous as to ask, why are you considering waiving support?

I was hoping that the information he received was wrong so that I didn't have to be the bad guy in telling him no.
He is frustrated. He pays $600 current and $100 towards the $67grand arrears.
The amount owed just keeps rising.
Not my problem, but realistically I am NEVER going to see the $67grand.
I don't want him to quit his job because he's feeling overwhelmed.
I wanted to know my options.
I am going to think on it...sit down with a calculator.
I would never forgive all, I might consider some.

 

[EnforceSupport]

I was hoping that the information he received was wrong so that I didn't have to be the bad guy in telling him no.
He is frustrated. He pays $600 current and $100 towards the $67grand arrears.
The amount owed just keeps rising.
Not my problem, but realistically I am NEVER going to see the $67grand.
I don't want him to quit his job because he's feeling overwhelmed.
I wanted to know my options.
I am going to think on it...sit down with a calculator.
I would never forgive all, I might consider some.

Californiamom3, first things first. You are NOT the bad guy. You were and are legally (and, imo, morally as well), entitled to the court ordered support. I suggest you not feel bad that he shirked his responsibility to the point that it is now a problem for him.

Second, I would suggest that in NO event do you waive anything. If you want to limit collections for the time being, that's your perrogative, but if you waive them (and it sticks), that's forever.

I'm very familiar with the "I'll quit if you don't....." line. It's acted upon less than you would think.

In any event, do consider this carefully. And, to repeat, we don't know what the future will hold and you may very much regret waiving it now if it's needed in the future. Finally, please consider that you really don't know, for certain, that the $67,000 will be uncollectable in future; his fortunes can change. Good luck to you.

 

[californiamom3]

Californiamom3, first things first. You are NOT the bad guy. You were and are legally (and, imo, morally as well), entitled to the court ordered support. I suggest you not feel bad that he shirked his responsibility to the point that it is now a problem for him.

Second, I would suggest that in NO event do you waive anything. If you want to limit collections for the time being, that's your perrogative, but if you waive them (and it sticks), that's forever.

I'm very familiar with the "I'll quit if you don't....." line. It's acted upon less than you would think.

In any event, do consider this carefully. And, to repeat, we don't know what the future will hold and you may very much regret waiving it now if it's needed in the future. Finally, please consider that you really don't know, for certain, that the $67,000 will be uncollectable in future; his fortunes can change. Good luck to you.

There are other verbal agreements between us concerning his under the table work and my income imputing that he is threatening to change if I don't agree. Looong story. I don't feel sorry for him that he fled the country for 5 years and didn't pay child support...yep, I told you...long story...I do however like the way things are set up at the moment and would prefer for them to not change.
Generally empty threats as he does not have the means to follow through.
I am not being a pushover. I see it as playing the game.
If were to forgive say...$20 of the $67grand...he might get off my back.
As for the future, I'm certain that he will do everything he can to withhold information and monies granted or gifted to him.
He mentioned that he was not entering some of the write-offs he's allowed so that I would get less money from his return.
And, that if he won the lotto he'd give it to a friend to cash in for him.
Classic! LOL!

 

[EnforceSupport]

My final comment is this, it is a great deal harder than most people think (even the most recalcitrant debtor) to effectively conceal income and assets.

 

[californiamom3]

My final comment is this, it is a great deal harder than most people think (even the most recalcitrant debtor) to effectively conceal income and assets.

True, unless somebody else is holding them for you and give it to you when you need it.
DCSS sent him a letter of their intent to put a lien on his bank account.
He took the money out and gave it to somebody else to hold for him.
Yes, he told me this. Too bad it's illegal to record conversations. LOL!
Good stuff, good stuff.

 

[tornado88]

You may also consider it from this point of view. Lets say you forgive 20K like you are considering to get him off your back for awhile. What's to say he won't let it rest for a little while then come back at you again? It worked the first time so why not try it again? What would he have to lose? So in other words this is not going to get him to back off, he will try it again. It sounds like he doesn't care what he has to do to get out of giving you money. I'd tell him to pound sand.