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Sued for visitation

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Ilinfoplz

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
I received papers that my ex's parents are suing me for grandparent's visitation rights. There son voluntarily signed over his rights to my children in July 2009. He owes $20000 in back child support. In July he signed over his rights then fled the state trying to outrun the child support order.

April 1, 2010 Child Support Enforcement found my lousy ex in Las Vegas, NV working at a casino. His employer was sent the necessary paperwork reguarding the child support order.

April 9, 2010 his parents sign papers to sue me for visitation. I believe that the only reason they have decided to try for visitation is because their son is going to have to pay CS.

The grandparents have never tried to contact me in anyway to ask for visitation. I have lived in the same house for 2 years and have worked at the same place since before my divorce so they can't say they had no way to find me (grandma used to drop the kids off at my home when I had a order of protection against my ex).

Grandma came to my children's Christmas program in 2009 but before that my son had not seen her since November 2008 and my daughter hadn't seen her since August 2008. They have not seen Grandpa since June 2008.

They did not have a good relationship with their Grandma at all. My daughter refers to her as "the evil one." She would tormented my daughter and I never let her go there on my time but my ex often left the children there when he had visitation. She would do a lot of yelling and tell my ex that my daughter was disrespectful causing my ex to punish her. It got so bad that the school bus driver began to notice how she would treat my daughter and reported it to CPS. At one point, she called the school and pretended to be me and had the children get off the bus at her house. When I found out, I called her home, she said they were not there. About 5 minutes later, my daughter called me whispering, she had to sneak into the bathroom to call me. I went out ther to get them (I was about 7 months pregnant at the time). I went to the door and she refused to let me have them. My father was with me and I told him to call the police. She tried to slam the door in my face so I put my foot in it so she couldn't. She hit me in the face with her cordless phone. My children were screaming and crying behind her. My daughter she was 10 ran out the back door but my son he was 5, was shocked and froze. She said she wouldn't give him to me. She finally relented when the police phoned her and she let him go. I immediately got a temporary restraining order against her. I could not get a permanent one because the judge felt that it was her first offense and she didn't "seem" violent.

The children rarely saw Grandpa (grandparents are divorced), and never alone. When we got divorced my ex and I sold our home and took stuff to his father's garage until we each found new homes. When I found mine, his father refused to give me back anything. This included my children's beds and toys. His son had already moved all his stuff out. I finally had to get the police to get the stuff but by that time the grandfather had burnt it all, the remains were still smoking when we got there. I was told I could sue him for damages but I was past it all by then and just went on with my life.

My questions are:
1) If they really wanted to see the children shouldn't they have tried to contact me first?

2) If they really wanted to have visitation shouldn't they have filed before now and not gone over a year without any contact with my children?

3) What is the liklihood that they will be granted visitation rights (they are wanting every other weekend, holidays, and summer vacations)?

4) What do I have to prove to keep them from getting visitation (my daughter says she will not go no matter what)?
 


Isis1

Senior Member
whoa.

okay, first question. is granny suing you AND dad? or just you?

second comment...you really shouldn't be allowing your daughter to call grandma the evil one. it's not respectful.

third...don't agree to ANY visitation.
 

Ilinfoplz

Junior Member
Suing just me because dad terminated his parental rights in July 09. He has no visitation.

Grandma deserves no respect so why should any be given to her? Would you respect someone who refers to you (my daughter) that worthless, fat, flea bag? What would you call the person who sat back and smiled while your father had you lying on the floor hysterically crying, yelling at you because you told the truth and refused to lie? Is it very respectful to continually call a 10 year old names when your 60? What would you call someone who tormented you and treated you with such little respect that a bus driver noticed the horrible treatment and reported it? I highly doubt it would be grandma. I bet it would be something that rhymed with the word witch.

I won't agree to any visitation at all. I'm going to ask the judge to make it where they can never have contact with my children again. Grandma keeps driving by my house and work about 50 times a day and I'm gonna see if that can be counted as harrassment.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Suing just me because dad terminated his parental rights in July 09. He has no visitation.

Grandma deserves no respect so why should any be given to her? Would you respect someone who refers to you (my daughter) that worthless, fat, flea bag? What would you call the person who sat back and smiled while your father had you lying on the floor hysterically crying, yelling at you because you told the truth and refused to lie? Is it very respectful to continually call a 10 year old names when your 60? What would you call someone who tormented you and treated you with such little respect that a bus driver noticed the horrible treatment and reported it? I highly doubt it would be grandma. I bet it would be something that rhymed with the word witch.

I won't agree to any visitation at all. I'm going to ask the judge to make it where they can never have contact with my children again. Grandma keeps driving by my house and work about 50 times a day and I'm gonna see if that can be counted as harrassment.


Did Dad sign over custodial rights, or were his parental rights terminated by the court?

There is a HUGE difference.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Did Dad sign over custodial rights, or were his parental rights terminated by the court?

There is a HUGE difference.
There is a huge difference for dad, but no real difference as far as grandma's suit is concerned.

OP, you need to find an attorney who is experienced in defending parents in grandparent visitation suits.

IL is a state whose Supreme Court struck down their visitations statutes after Troxel, and the law was re-written to better conform with Troxel. Based on your situation the odds are in your favor, but you really need an experienced attorney in your corner.

There are two very important things to do:

1) Refuse to agree to anything at all. Make the judge rule on the case based on its merits. You will get a lot of pressure to come to an agreement. Simply refuse to do so.

2) If the grandparents ask for temporary visitation pending the outcome of the case, argue strenously against that because it would be a "violation of your right to due process".
 

jbdad

Junior Member
shame

Take the sound advice above!!!! It's spot on.
1) Refuse to agree to anything at all. Make the judge rule on the case based on its merits. You will get a lot of pressure to come to an agreement. Simply refuse to do so.
2) If the grandparents ask for temporary visitation pending the outcome of the case, argue strenuously against that because it would be a "violation of your right to due process".

As for #2, temporary visitation would be a clear violation of Troxel... the parent MUST be assumed to be acting in best interest of child until it's shown otherwise... be definition they cannot force visitation before hearing the facts.

You're probably right, that this suit is being used as an instrument of intimidation for some other purpose than actually seeing the kids. It's a shame these unconstutional statues remain on the books across the country.

There are dozens of grandparent organizations supporting these laws, not to mention the lobbying power of AARP.
How can we stop this illegal intrusion into our lives??
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Take the sound advice above!!!! It's spot on.
1) Refuse to agree to anything at all. Make the judge rule on the case based on its merits. You will get a lot of pressure to come to an agreement. Simply refuse to do so.
2) If the grandparents ask for temporary visitation pending the outcome of the case, argue strenuously against that because it would be a "violation of your right to due process".

As for #2, temporary visitation would be a clear violation of Troxel... the parent MUST be assumed to be acting in best interest of child until it's shown otherwise... be definition they cannot force visitation before hearing the facts.

You're probably right, that this suit is being used as an instrument of intimidation for some other purpose than actually seeing the kids. It's a shame these unconstutional statues remain on the books across the country.

There are dozens of grandparent organizations supporting these laws, not to mention the lobbying power of AARP.
How can we stop this illegal intrusion into our lives??
By fighting the "good fight". By refusing to be intimidated into agreements and by arguing the "law".

Case law these days very much favors the parents.

The original (1960's reasons) for gpv were sympathetic and understandable. What they morphed into by the 1990s was totally unconstitutional. Troxel defined that.
 

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