Right of First Refusal and Child Support

[nythng4mygrl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

I have a few questions. There is a clause in the court order that includes the Right of First Refusal. If my daughters father has to work, and exercises his visitation on a week that I am off, would he need to make arrangements with me to bring our daughter back to me until he gets off, or would his wife be able to watch her everyday? I thought that this was for overnights only, and if his wife that doesn't work does not want to watch my child during that time, then why should my daughter even go there if he is working the entire time and what sort of agreement should we come up with for his summer visits?

Child support came up again. He is taking me for a decrease in support. His attorney is calculating a reimbursement that I get for my vehicle which drastically lowers my child support payment. I did not think that reimbursements were part of my earned income. Am I wrong here?

lastly, my ex will not allow my boyfriend around my daughter and seems to start up with me everytime we are having a family function or go somewhere. Isn't it true, that what I do on my time with our daughter, is none of his business? I thought that as long as boyfriend does not sleep over, dad has no say so in the matter. He says he wants it ordered for my boyfriend not to be allowed near her. He has done nothing wrong and is a great guy. would a judge even order that if my daughter is not in danger of him?

Thanks.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

I have a few questions. There is a clause in the court order that includes the Right of First Refusal. If my daughters father has to work, and exercises his visitation on a week that I am off, would he need to make arrangements with me to bring our daughter back to me until he gets off, or would his wife be able to watch her everyday? I thought that this was for overnights only, and if his wife that doesn't work does not want to watch my child during that time, then why should my daughter even go there if he is working the entire time and what sort of agreement should we come up with for his summer visits?

All depends on how it's written in the order.

As for summer, since we don't know what the ordered amount of time is, what his vacation schedule is, etc. - we really can't say.

Child support came up again. He is taking me for a decrease in support. His attorney is calculating a reimbursement that I get for my vehicle which drastically lowers my child support payment. I did not think that reimbursements were part of my earned income. Am I wrong here?

It is entirely possible that it is considered income.

lastly, my ex will not allow my boyfriend around my daughter and seems to start up with me everytime we are having a family function or go somewhere. Isn't it true, that what I do on my time with our daughter, is none of his business? I thought that as long as boyfriend does not sleep over, dad has no say so in the matter. He says he wants it ordered for my boyfriend not to be allowed near her. He has done nothing wrong and is a great guy. would a judge even order that if my daughter is not in danger of him?

Why does Dad know what you're doing on your time. Before you do it?

 

[ecmst12]

Does dad have any legit reason to be concerned about your bf?

 

[nythng4mygrl]

He gets 2 one week summer visits and we live an hour away from each other. I have to get the language of the order.

My daughter used to tell him what she did on our weekends when she was with him on his. That is how he would find out what I was doing. And then he would call and threaten me on my weekends that if he found out my daughter was around my boyfriend he would contact his attorney.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[stealth2]

And then he would call and threaten me on my weekends that if he found out my daughter was around my boyfriend he would contact his attorney.

ANd you replied "thanks for sharing" and hung up. Seriously - so what?

 

[nythng4mygrl]

ECMST12 to answer your question my boyfriend has done nothing to affect dad. Dad is overbearing and does not want any other male around her. My boyfriend is a police officer, and dad is into drugs. I think dad might be intimidated.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Stealth, I was asking if he could really have the judge order that my boyfriend not be allowed near my daughter since we are not married. What I told him was to piss off that he can't tell me what to do, that I look forward to his letter from his attorney and then hung up.

 

[stealth2]

Well, that was certainly mature.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Well when he was threatening to hurt me, and verbally abusing me, that was the only nice thing I could think of saying at the time.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well when he was threatening to hurt me, and verbally abusing me, that was the only nice thing I could think of saying at the time.

Really? Your boyfriend is a police officer and the ONLY TIHNG you could think of saying was piss off?

YOu couldn't think of saying, "Sorry you feel that way. Have a good day." Then you hang up and go get a CPO if he is threatening to hurt you -- what was the threat? How was he verbally abusing you?

 

[ecmst12]

Unless bf is a convicted sex offender or otherwise dangerous, dad has pretty much no chance of getting any judge to order you to keep him away from kiddo.

And I think your response was almost perfect - just leave out the 'piss off' and that's exactly what you should do every time he threatens you with court.

 

[CJane]

if he found out my daughter was around my boyfriend he would contact his attorney.

I used to get the exact same threat from my Ex. And, later I found out that he'd drive by my apt repeatedly when I had the girls, in an effort to determine if I was having "overnight guests" while they were home (I never did). Never mind that I lived in a townhouse community with onstreet parking - how would you ever KNOW which home each car belonged to?

You're letting him create drama. So stop letting him.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Maybe I was a little out of line, and I do try to slow up the drama. I will do better next time ladies.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Ohiogal, my boyfriend is in a different jurisdiction then dad. He was however able to make a phone call to that jurisdiction and a report was filed, and I go tomorrow to get my protective order signed.

So, to sum this thread up, dad has no right to have a say so in who my daughter is around? The Reimbursement is able to be calculated in as a gross earning? And the First Right of Refusal means that if dad has to work during his week of summer visitation, his wife or someone else is not able to care for my daughter if I am available?

Thanks again.

 

[stealth2]

And the First Right of Refusal means that if dad has to work during his week of summer visitation, his wife or someone else is not able to care for my daughter if I am available?

No, it depends on what the order actually says as to how ROFR works in YOUR situation.