Screwed out of her half

[Rachel T]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX
Is it possible to change anything after a divorce decree has been signed by the judge? My friend and her now ex did a do-it-yourself and NOW she is seeing all the things she should have done. I think she's SOL. Am I wrong? She says she can't afford a lawyer.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX
Is it possible to change anything after a divorce decree has been signed by the judge? My friend and her now ex did a do-it-yourself and NOW she is seeing all the things she should have done. I think she's SOL. Am I wrong? She says she can't afford a lawyer.

how long ago was the order signed?


kind of the problem when you do something you have no idea what you are doing with.

 

[Zigner]

I think she's SOL.

I agree .

 

[Rachel T]

It was signed about two weeks ago.

 

[nextwife]

She would have been entitled to aprox. half the MARITAL assets and half the MARITAL debt. Non comingled PRE-marital assets, retirement funds already accrued premaritally, gifts or inheritances to one spouse are NOT marital. If ones take a greater amount of marital debt, they usually get more of the marital assets to offset that.

What "half" does she believe she was "screwed out of"?

 

[Rachel T]

At this point all she is mentioning is the 401k. If I am understanding you correctly, isn't it true that whatever he has put into the 401k during the marriage part of "her half?"

 

[Zigner]

At this point all she is mentioning is the 401k. If I am understanding you correctly, isn't it true that whatever he has put into the 401k during the marriage part of "her half?"

Well, she and her husband AGREED on the settlement that the judge signed off...she should have done her research BEFORE agreeing

 

[Rachel T]

Yep! Too hasty, too lazy.

 

[mistoffolees]

Well, she and her husband AGREED on the settlement that the judge signed off...she should have done her research BEFORE agreeing

I agree. However, there are a number of very limited circumstances which would allow her to have the property settlement reopened. For example, if the husband hid the 401K and she had no way of knowing about it and only learned about it after the divorce was final, there is a chance of reopening that portion of the settlement.

Unless there's fraud, though, it would be very hard.

I hope others are reading this and can see the cost of "I can't afford an attorney" and how it can be far more expensive to NOT have one.

 

[nextwife]

Additionally, sometimes people trade "this for that" in their settlement. Perhaps there was something he chose to give up or not ask for in exchange for her not asking for half his 401K. So, an example: he let her have the car with roughly equivilant equity to the 401K marital half (remember many 401ks are worth LESS than two years ago) and he agreed to take an entire credit card debt.

My point is: unless you know EVERYTHING they agreed to split, both assets and debt, his and her retirement etc, you can't say that she got "screwed" for not getting half his 401K. There may have been some other asset or debt that he agreed about because of the 401K.

 

[mistoffolees]

Additionally, sometimes people trade "this for that" in their settlement. Perhaps there was something he chose to give up or not ask for in exchange for her not asking for half his 401K. So, an example: he let her have the car with roughly equivilant equity to the 401K marital half (remember many 401ks are worth LESS than two years ago) and he agreed to take an entire credit card debt.

My point is: unless you know EVERYTHING they agreed to split, both assets and debt, his and her retirement etc, you can't say that she got "screwed" for not getting half his 401K. There may have been some other asset or debt that he agreed about because of the 401K.

Absolutely. Or she may have simply given up her rights to the 401K to get the divorce completed sooner than it would be if they had to fight over a couple more issues.

 

[Rachel T]

I totally agree!! As for the word "screwed," it was a poor choice of words. It should have read, "she screwed herself by remaining ignorant."
The information you have given me is exactly what I expected. I just thought I would post the question for her since I don't know the law. Unfortunately, for her, she let him take care of most of the wording. This is simply a case of "divorce decree remorse." Thank you all so much for your help.

 

[nextwife]

I totally agree!! As for the word "screwed," it was a poor choice of words. It should have read, "she screwed herself by remaining ignorant."
The information you have given me is exactly what I expected. I just thought I would post the question for her since I don't know the law. Unfortunately, for her, she let him take care of most of the wording. This is simply a case of "divorce decree remorse." Thank you all so much for your help.

If I choose to buy stock without reseatching whether this financial choice is wise, it is MY fault for not bothering to take the time to check it out. If I buy a house and don't want to incur the cost of a home inspection or title insurance, I am choosing to risk the consequences.

Why SHOULD divorce be subject to the whims of someone who wants the settlement and single status one day, then doesn't like the deal she chose the next?

By the time we get married, we should all be big boys and girls. If we choose to go it alone without professional help, we should at minimum at least do our homework before we complete our agreements. How many months was she seperated that she COULD have looked into whats what? In this day of internet access to everything, there is no reason one cannot be informed.

 

[Rachel T]

Well said!! May I quote you??