Arkansas NonCohabitation?

[Silverplum]

Yes the parentage has already been settled out of court as my soon to be ex has already signed the denial of paternity and it has been filed through vital records, the child support office, and our jurisdiction via my lawyer.

No the pregnancy is not what has tied this up for 18 months.

Silverplum, yes my lawyer is specialized in family law and is who stated that as long as neither party considers it an issue, cohabitation would not be a problem.

Sure, nothing is a problem if everyone is fine with it. It's not a problem if you park in my driveway, as long as I don't mind. Your lawyer has masterfully stated the obvious.

But the cases I cited, and others, show that you ARE in danger of losing custody in the future. All Dad has to do is object. Now. In the future. Whenever.

READ the cases.

 

[futuredust]

And, it's a foot through the door, meaning it can and has been considered as a change of circumstance to open the custody door for change. I have seen it happen, first hand.

When you get divorced, walk downstairs/down the hall/upstairs, and buy a marriage license, get married by the JP then and there...

Problem solved.

 

[sometwo]

Doesn't anyone actually get DIVORCED and/or married any longer before they produce more children?

It doesn't seem to matter anymore. I got pregnant before marriage and immediately I was planning our marriage. We were married while I was still pregnant before you could even tell (4 months) because I thought you should be married when having a baby. I messed up and quickly corrected it.

We also found out we live in an anti cohabitation state. My husband had to move out until we were married which was a month or two away. We also thought about going ahead and getting married but not telling anyone and still keeping our original marriage date. (not telling anyone unless he ended up in court that is)

Why have a kid with a lifetime commitment to someone when your not committed to them yourself? Also if your not committed to the relationship and marriage now why bother even moving in together?

Your children are in the situation they are in because of your actions. Can't blame anyone else.

 

[TheGeekess]

And, it's a foot through the door, meaning it can and has been considered as a change of circumstance to open the custody door for change. I have seen it happen, first hand.

When you get divorced, walk downstairs/down the hall/upstairs, and buy a marriage license, get married by the JP then and there...

Problem solved.

Most states have a waiting period before one can get remarried after a divorce.

ETA: But Arkansas is not one of them....
http://www.arkansas.com/weddings/legality.aspx

 

[futuredust]

Most states have a waiting period before one can get remarried after a divorce.

A handful do, but Arkansas does not.

 

[stealth2]

Color me old-fashioned.

I also wonder why a parent would place themselves in the position of their children realizing (maybe not today or tomorrow, but they WILL realize) that one parent was unfaithful to the other? Kids are not stupid. And they will form their own conclusions.

 

[ecmst12]

It's not exactly unfaithful, at least in my mind, if it happened after the separation.

 

[stealth2]

It's not exactly unfaithful, at least in my mind, if it happened after the separation.

Legally, it is STILL called adultery - OP is still married.

 

[LdiJ]

It's not exactly unfaithful, at least in my mind, if it happened after the separation.

I kind of agree with Stealth...and kind of agree with you.

If you have an odd situation where the couple has been separated for a very long time, without actually getting divorced, then I really wouldn't call it unfaithful and its unlikely that the kids would either...particularly since the kids should not be privy to the divorce details.

However, what really gets my goat is when parents separate and almost immediately involve their children with their new "squeeze".

I also have a real problem with this whole concept of "I am in a serious relationship so we should have children even though we aren't married/don't intend to get married" bit. People are doing this right and left in this country. It makes absolutely NO sense to me at all.

I understand accidents. Those happen. They even happen to people who are being very careful. My now 49 year old brother and his now 41 year old girlfriend have a 1 year old child (first child for both of them and a serious oops). Part of me does NOT understand at all why they didn't get married. They are living together in a committed relationship and neither one of them has any "stuff" to be protected. However, that's their choice.

I can also guarantee that they won't have another "oops".

 

[ecmst12]

I get that accidents happen too. But if it were me, and I lived in a bass-ackwards state where me cohabitating could really result in me losing custody of my other children, I'd get married.

I also understand why, after the ugly/messy divorce OP has gone through/is going through, she might not want to rush into getting married again so soon. BUT....the stakes here are high.

Reason #271 never to move to Arkansas

 

[sometwo]

I also understand why, after the ugly/messy divorce OP has gone through/is going through, she might not want to rush into getting married again so soon. BUT....the stakes here are high

You would also think she wouldn't want to rush into another relationship (of any kind) . Nor rush into having more children in this situation.

 

[futuredust]

Reason #271 never to move to Arkansas

There are some good things about living here =)

 

[neopandora]

BTW TN also has this.

Parts of West TN and most of Middle TN (excluding an isolated county or two) don't seem to bat an eye unless it was specifically addressed in the parenting plan or the home is a revolving door of live-ins, etc. If there is a provision and it's violated, that's a whole other story.

 

[sometwo]

Parts of West TN and most of Middle TN (excluding an isolated county or two) don't seem to bat an eye unless it was specifically addressed in the parenting plan or the home is a revolving door of live-ins, etc. If there is a provision and it's violated, that's a whole other story.

Not true, it doesn't have to be listed in the custody order. It also goes for all of TN

 

[neopandora]

Not true, it doesn't have to be listed in the custody order. It also goes for all of TN

Not trying to be disagreeable here, as TN is off topic from the whole thread and I don't want to detract, but do you have a statute? It's my understanding (and my own comprehension from reading) that it's not in the TCA. My references to the parts of Tennessee were familiarity with how most of those judicial districts rule on the matter from personal observation.