Student Loans & Divorce

[EleZor]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico

We have been married a little over 10 years. I’ll call my husband ‘Joe’ here for ease of discussion.

Joe only worked for the first 2 years of our marriage. He’s been on many interviews over the years but never gets a job offer. His previous experience was IT.

We have three children between us: his 20 & 23, mine 21. The 20 & 21 year old are in college. They live at home and I pay for their college expenses. The 23 year old is a Iraqi vet and his school is paid by gov grants, GI bill, etc.

Joe has a student loan for about $30,000. I am not sure of the actual about of the loan(s) because he has hidden the paperwork. He also has a separate account where he keeps these funds.

Joe graduates with a master’s degree in January.

How are student loans handled in a divorce? Joe says that he does not have to tell me anything about them or about the money I the account because they are his sole debt and sole property.

Is this accurate? Are student loans and the proceeds the sole debt/property of the recipient?

In a divorce would he be held 100% responsible for repayment of the student loans? If he defaults on the student loans, could the lender come after me for repayment since this is a community property state?

I want to see the loan papers to so I can make sure I know my responsibility if any for the loan(s). Am I out of line asking for this?

I also want to see the bank statements for the account where he keeps the student loan money. Because of some things going on in our checking account, I think he has been taking money from our joint account and my credit cards and putting them in his ‘student loan’ account. So far he has refused to let me see the account statements.

If I can show that he has been moving our community money into the student loan account, does that convert the ‘student loan’ account to community?

One thing he has whined about is that he says he made a payment or two on the credit cards out of his ‘student loan’ account. Seems to me that student loan money is to cover tuition, books, and living expenses?

There is a lot more going on here with the finances, such as he has changed the passwords on all our accounts who I cannot get on the online (even the ones that are I my name only) and he keeps the monthly statements hidden from me.

But I want to keep this as brief as possible as I’m looking for info on student loans, community debt/property and my possible liability.

 

[Ohiogal]

Did you cosign for any of the loans? Were any of the loans used to living expenses? Is spousal support being considered?

 

[EleZor]

Did you cosign for any of the loans? Were any of the loans used to living expenses? Is spousal support being considered?

No I have not cosigned for any student loans.

None of the money has been used for living expenses. I'm not even sure that he has used to money to pay tuition, books, etc. Instead I think he's just hording the cash. He has also been doing a lot on LegalZoom. I think he's starting some kind of business but have not been able to find out what he's up to yet.

I was able to get into his student loan account on the website by guessing his password. It looks like he's been approved for up to $100,000. I'm very concerned that he might take the entire $100,000 and somehow try to stick me with the loan payments.

As for spousal support, we have not gotten that far yet. He keeps telling me that he's taking me to the cleaners and will take very thing that he can get.

Right now I'm trying to find out what angle I can take on the student loans and if I am responsible in any way for them. New Mexico is a community property state.

 

[LdiJ]

No I have not cosigned for any student loans.

None of the money has been used for living expenses. I'm not even sure that he has used to money to pay tuition, books, etc. Instead I think he's just hording the cash. He has also been doing a lot on LegalZoom. I think he's starting some kind of business but have not been able to find out what he's up to yet.

I was able to get into his student loan account on the website by guessing his password. It looks like he's been approved for up to $100,000. I'm very concerned that he might take the entire $100,000 and somehow try to stick me with the loan payments.

As for spousal support, we have not gotten that far yet. He keeps telling me that he's taking me to the cleaners and will take very thing that he can get.

Right now I'm trying to find out what angle I can take on the student loans and if I am responsible in any way for them. New Mexico is a community property state.

Usually, in a divorce, if a party's name is not on the student loans, and they are not going to benefit economically from the person's education, then they are not responsible for the student loans.

I would suggest that you start putting YOUR paycheck in a separate account in just your name, since you believe that he is putting money in his student loan account.

I would also suggest that you get a credit card or two in just your own name, and then cancel any existing credit cards.

 

[EleZor]

Usually, in a divorce, if a party's name is not on the student loans, and they are not going to benefit economically from the person's education, then they are not responsible for the student loans.

I could be wrong, but I think there are two separate issues when related to student loans.

One is the way the divorce courts will look at it. And I think that’s what you’ve mentioned above is that the court is most likely to assign the loan to my husband since it’s for his education.

But if my husband defaults on the loans, can the student loan folks come after me?

I would suggest that you start putting YOUR paycheck in a separate account in just your name, since you believe that he is putting money in his student loan account.

Yes I need to do this. It also means that along with working 60-80 hour weeks I’ll have to take over all bill payments.

I have read somewhere that there is a problem with one spouse not allowing another spouse access to community income. Even though it’s my paycheck, it’s community income. I’ve thought about opening up an account in my name, having my paycheck go to that account and then putting some amount of money into the joint for him.

Would this be what I need to do?

I would also suggest that you get a credit card or two in just your own name, and then cancel any existing credit cards.

The credit cards are only in my name. They were ones I’ve had since before we were married. He cancelled the cards in his name a long time ago.

He gets weird when I ask him about anything financial. For example he has changed the passwords to my credit card accounts and our joint checking account so that I cannot look at them. He gets the mail while I’m at work and so I never see the bank statements no the charge card statements. I’ve been asking him for the passwords for days now and every day he says he’s too busy to do it right now.

My plan is to hand him a paper today and tell him to write down all the passwords and info. If he does not I guess I’ll go to the bank on Tuesday and have the password changed.

I will then call the credit card companies and have his cards cancelled.

We have seen a divorce mediator twice. We agreed, signed a paper, to not act independently on anything financial. He agreed to give me the access info to our financial accounts. I’m trying to live up to my end of the agreement, but he’s not keeping up his end. If I open up a separate account, move my check to be deposited there and cancel your cards I’m going against our agreement. We made this agreement about a week ago and he has yet to comply with giving me access to my financial information.

Guess we’ll need to meet with the mediator again the way things are going.

 

[mistoffolees]

But if my husband defaults on the loans, can the student loan folks come after me?

Not unless you co-signed the loan.

 

[EleZor]

Not unless you co-signed the loan.

So student loans are different than other loans.

 

[LdiJ]

So student loans are different than other loans.

Not really, there is a limit to what creditors can do with any type of credit or loan.

 

[LdiJ]

I could be wrong, but I think there are two separate issues when related to student loans.

One is the way the divorce courts will look at it. And I think that’s what you’ve mentioned above is that the court is most likely to assign the loan to my husband since it’s for his education.

But if my husband defaults on the loans, can the student loan folks come after me?

No, you won't be married to him anymore.

Yes I need to do this. It also means that along with working 60-80 hour weeks I’ll have to take over all bill payments.

Its worth it.

I have read somewhere that there is a problem with one spouse not allowing another spouse access to community income. Even though it’s my paycheck, it’s community income. I’ve thought about opening up an account in my name, having my paycheck go to that account and then putting some amount of money into the joint for him.

Would this be what I need to do?

If you have already filed for divorce, I wouldn't give him any money at all. Let him get a part time job, that won't interfere with school. As long as you have food in the house and the necessities covered, he doesn't need cash.

The credit cards are only in my name. They were ones I’ve had since before we were married. He cancelled the cards in his name a long time ago.

He gets weird when I ask him about anything financial. For example he has changed the passwords to my credit card accounts and our joint checking account so that I cannot look at them. He gets the mail while I’m at work and so I never see the bank statements no the charge card statements. I’ve been asking him for the passwords for days now and every day he says he’s too busy to do it right now.

My plan is to hand him a paper today and tell him to write down all the passwords and info. If he does not I guess I’ll go to the bank on Tuesday and have the password changed.

I will then call the credit card companies and have his cards cancelled.

We have seen a divorce mediator twice. We agreed, signed a paper, to not act independently on anything financial. He agreed to give me the access info to our financial accounts. I’m trying to live up to my end of the agreement, but he’s not keeping up his end. If I open up a separate account, move my check to be deposited there and cancel your cards I’m going against our agreement. We made this agreement about a week ago and he has yet to comply with giving me access to my financial information.

Guess we’ll need to meet with the mediator again the way things are going.

He really SHOULD NOT have access to your paycheck or any credit in your name only. You NEED to get that taken care of. The fact that he is being so secretive is something to seriously worry about.

 

[EleZor]

If you have already filed for divorce, I wouldn't give him any money at all. Let him get a part time job, that won't interfere with school. As long as you have food in the house and the necessities covered, he doesn't need cash.

No, divorce has been filed yet. We have spoken to a mediator twice
My husband wants to file right now. He has this thing that once a divorce is filed, he is entitled to have the same level of life style he has enjoyed all along in our marriage. So he’s pushing to file right now as he thinks I’ll have to pay him interim spousal support and eventually alimony.

Not sure if I’m right or not, but it seems to me that I’m better off waiting for him to get some kind of job, even part time, before the papers are filed as it will lessen any support, interim or otherwise.

I’ve been buying some time here while I get my things in order. From the things he’s said he’s been planning this for a long time. So I’m taking some time trying to find what he’s up to so I’m protected.

After your responses here I wonder if I'm better off filing for divorce now. I had wanted to use a mediator with the hopes that it would cost us a lot less. I really do not have the money to pay for the attorneys for both of us... and in the end I do think that I’ll end up paying for both.

With our bills right now there is no extra money every month for anything. So I could not afford to pay him interim support or alimony. This idea that the he should have the same standard of living after divorce as before is laughable… not unless he goes out and gets a job that pays what I make. Which is what he should have done all along.

I know that he has started a publishing company with his brother. His brother lives in Florida. But I cannot find any of the paperwork on it. They have one book that they have taken to some book fairs at universities. I’m sure that the paperwork for this is in the same place as all of our financial records…. Not in our home. I have no idea where he has been hiding things.

Recently there has been some other business dealings and papers coming from legal zoom. I saw him with a large package from legalZoom but now I cannot find anything related to it in the house, garage, etc.

He says that he is job hunting but says that he will only get a job that fits what he wants to do. If he cannot find the perfect job he says that he will not work. Personally I think he’s living in a fantasy world.

He really SHOULD NOT have access to your paycheck or any credit in your name only. You NEED to get that taken care of. The fact that he is being so secretive is something to seriously worry about.

You are right that the secrecy is very concerning.

 

[ecmst12]

I think you really need to get yourself an attorney. Let him use his student loan money to pay for one if he wants it, you are NOT obligated to pay for his legal fees.