Can I open mail addressed to my child?

[californiamom3]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
I can't find it anywhere on the net.
Can someone direct me towards the legal answer to this question,
please and thank you!

 

[BOR]

If not specifically addressed in Postal law, some case law research on Parent-Child may include such. As Guardian, there is a presumption in law you have the right to bring up your child as you see fit even outside of the main responsibilities.


Today's outside environment for a minor can require constant scrutinization, that includes opening mail, whether a birthday card at age 1 or a suspect envelope at age 17.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
I can't find it anywhere on the net.
Can someone direct me towards the legal answer to this question,
please and thank you!

I wouldn't even think twice about it.

 

[xylene]

Use a steamer to open and a glue stick to close.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

Use a steamer to open and a glue stick to close.

Are you kidding me? When Little Girl gets mail (besides holiday and birthday cards), Dad tears it open and then leaves it for her. Don't want her to get any crazy ideas that she might have some privacy in our home!

 

[Antigone*]

Are you kidding me? When Little Girl gets mail (besides holiday and birthday cards), Dad tears it open and then leaves it for her. Don't want her to get any crazy ideas that she might have some privacy in our home!

My saying at home to my girls is this: I own the air that you breathe And... they know it!!!

 

[futuredust]

Since this was asked under the custody forum, is this regarding mail sent by another parent to the child? Is there mention of such a situation in the court order?

My parenting plan includes this under parents rights, and says :

The right to send mail to the child which the other parent shall not open or censor

When I was NCP the CP or his wife would open mail and either throw it away or use it as leverage over the kids. Example: your birthday present came today, I put it in my room and you cannot have it until I think you deserve it.. Or, the card your mom sent came today, I needed the money so I took it, but I don't know where the card is now. I always told the kids when I was sending mail or clothes/items they requested or money for book fairs/trips and the like. My grandmother used to send them money or gift certificates then stopped because they would never get it. I can remember one Halloween she sent them McDonald's gift books, dad and step mom kept them and used them, in front of the kids, while laughing and saying tell your granny it was good.

So I am biased, I think children can open their own mail when it comes to family and friends. My daughter gets mail weekly from her friends of the past.

 

[Antigone*]

Since this was asked under the custody forum, is this regarding mail sent by another parent to the child? Is there mention of such a situation in the court order?

My parenting plan includes this under parents rights, and says :


When I was NCP the CP or his wife would open mail and either throw it away or use it as leverage over the kids. Example: your birthday present came today, I put it in my room and you cannot have it until I think you deserve it.. Or, the card your mom sent came today, I needed the money so I took it, but I don't know where the card is now. I always told the kids when I was sending mail or clothes/items they requested or money for book fairs/trips and the like. My grandmother used to send them money or gift certificates then stopped because they would never get it. I can remember one Halloween she sent them McDonald's gift books, dad and step mom kept them and used them, in front of the kids, while laughing and saying tell your granny it was good.

So I am biased, I think children can open their own mail when it comes to family and friends. My daughter gets mail weekly from her friends of the past.

I do agree with you on the future. Cards from grandma and the like, I have no problem with and I wouldn't open. But I make sure that all mail comes through me first.

It is the same with the interweb. I monitor that closely as well. Some parents not so much.

 

[californiamom3]

Thanks everybody for the replies.
17 year old daughter moved to her dads a month ago.
The mail was from her Dr.s office addressed to her.
Ended up being a bill for a cancellation fee of $75 because she missed an appointment.
Daughter complained to her dad that I handed over an opened envelope to her, dad texting me saying that I had no right to open it.
I of course I responded by saying that until my children turn 18 I have a right to
EVERYTHING!
I just wanted to know if there was a specific law I could read regarding this.
I would never open letters from Grandma

 

[Isis1]

Tell dad i said "bite me".

 

[sometwo]

Thanks everybody for the replies.
17 year old daughter moved to her dads a month ago.
The mail was from her Dr.s office addressed to her.
Ended up being a bill for a cancellation fee of $75 because she missed an appointment.
Daughter complained to her dad that I handed over an opened envelope to her, dad texting me saying that I had no right to open it.
I of course I responded by saying that until my children turn 18 I have a right to
EVERYTHING!
I just wanted to know if there was a specific law I could read regarding this.
I would never open letters from Grandma

That's rather amusing.

One of my children said something about mail one day. It had their name on it and I was opening it. (bday invitations and stuff I don't open and letters from grandma you get the idea). I said well I'll let you open it if you want to pay the bill in here. It was a dr's bill envelope. He said nah you can have it.

I then reminded him , just because it says your name on it doesn't always mean its for you

 

[californiamom3]

Tell dad i said "bite me".

If only I could.
I just tell him the facts, then tell him to quit texting me unless it's something important.
Or I just ignore it, unless it IS something important.
A little something I learned from Free Advice.com

 

[stealth2]

This might be a *really* novel idea, but why not call your daughter, tell her there's an envelope addressed to her from Dr. XYZ that looks like a bill, and would she like you to open it?

I did that just yesterday, when my son got his AP scores in the mail. He was out of town, so I called and asked if he wanted me to open the envelope. He did (which I assumed he would, since he was in the process of course selection for the fall), but I would never presume to open my child's mail. Especially at 16/17/18. Just as I would never expect them to open mail addressed to me w/o my permission.

 

[CourtClerk]

This might be a *really* novel idea, but why not call your daughter, tell her there's an envelope addressed to her from Dr. XYZ that looks like a bill, and would she like you to open it?

I did that just yesterday, when my son got his AP scores in the mail. He was out of town, so I called and asked if he wanted me to open the envelope. He did (which I assumed he would, since he was in the process of course selection for the fall), but I would never presume to open my child's mail. Especially at 16/17/18. Just as I would never expect them to open mail addressed to me w/o my permission.

I guess this is gonna be one of the rare times we're gonna disagree. I'm not asking anyone for permission to open CRAPOLA in my house. If it comes in here, then just assume I'm going to see it, look at it, read it, open it. My stand may change when the little one gets to be an adult one, but I don't ask for permission to do anything from anyone that I birthed. Now that's just where I draw the line.

 

[stealth2]

Fair enough. Consider it.... a parenting difference.