Am I out of line?

[wileybunch]

I dunno...daycare is just plain expensive no matter what area you are in.

I understand what you mean about the rest of the things you mentioned, but daycare can be really tough to cover without some kind of help.

My daughter and I always worked opposite shifts (until she recently got daycare assistance), or she co-opted daycare with the mother of my granddaughter's sister, because we just couldn't afford daycare.

Granted it was 2, not 4, but they were infants (twins) and my state (NV) didn't care. Child support is based on % of gross income and doesn't take childcare into consideration. Childcare for infants/toddlers/preschool for 2 is more expensive than full-time daycamp for 2 here so expenses went down over time, but it was always on my tab, not NCP's.

 

[wileybunch]

.... to well you didn't support them while they were here.

He does have a point there, doesn't he? What was your cost for their care so you could work the time they were with Dad?

 

[sometwo]

He does have a point there, doesn't he? What was your cost for their care so you could work the time they were with Dad?

Good point and just maybe kids could spend some MORE time with dad to help offset the cost of daycare. Since dad is far away and I'm sure the kids don't get as much time with him during the school year. Why not? Sounds to me it might be a great idea for kiddos. Instead of childcare they get more time with dad.

 

[TheGeekess]

He does have a point there, doesn't he? What was your cost for their care so you could work the time they were with Dad?

I have yet to run across a day care that will 'hold' a place for a non-paying child. Even if the child isn't there, the day care still has to be paid.

 

[sometwo]

I have yet to run across a day care that will 'hold' a place for a non-paying child. Even if the child isn't there, the day care still has to be paid.

I have seen some in some cases. Like when I was in school. I only paid for exactly what days I used (not the whole week) and could pull them out at any time with no consequences. Some daycare's may do that in the summer time if they have notice and if the parent discussed that with them. You never know unless you try.

 

[wileybunch]

I have yet to run across a day care that will 'hold' a place for a non-paying child. Even if the child isn't there, the day care still has to be paid.

She didn't mention anything about "daycare", only "camp". I've never known of a camp that was assumed to be for the entire summer, they were always broken into sessions, typically a session being a week. She also didn't mention anything about costs while they were with Dad, only the costs for the time when they are with her now that they've returned from Dad's.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

Refresher, 4 kids, I have full custody, dad lives 10+hours away, visitation is as agreed upon by both parties.
So the kids had their visit to their dad and have been home for a few weeks now. Well, kids have to go to camp because I am working. Court order says we both pay 50/50. Ex has complained that I did not give him any money for their expenses while they were there so he is now broke and cannot afford to pay his half of the daycare bill. I want to send him the following:

Well this is going to have a bearing on next time they come visit you. If you cannot afford to have them visit and still pay your bills after they leave then you are going to have to show me that you can afford it before they come visit again.

Am I out of line or is this reasonable? According to what he told me, yes with a grain of salt, he had to borrow money to afford the gas to meet me half way to get the children home. In the past he has gotten behind on childcare by almost $1000, I do not want to get put in that situation again.

Completely and totally out of line. You don't get to refuse him visitation just because he can't/won't pay as ordered. Seeing the kids has no price tag attached. You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

Refresher, 4 kids, I have full custody, dad lives 10+hours away, visitation is as agreed upon by both parties.
So the kids had their visit to their dad and have been home for a few weeks now. Well, kids have to go to camp because I am working. Court order says we both pay 50/50. Ex has complained that I did not give him any money for their expenses while they were there so he is now broke and cannot afford to pay his half of the daycare bill. I want to send him the following:

Well this is going to have a bearing on next time they come visit you. If you cannot afford to have them visit and still pay your bills after they leave then you are going to have to show me that you can afford it before they come visit again.

Am I out of line or is this reasonable? According to what he told me, yes with a grain of salt, he had to borrow money to afford the gas to meet me half way to get the children home. In the past he has gotten behind on childcare by almost $1000, I do not want to get put in that situation again.

You are so freaking out of line it is not even funny. You have NO RIGHT to dictate that dad can't see the children until he can prove he can pay his bills. Why don't you have to prove that you can pay ALL of your bills without his help before you have custody? that would be fair. Since you can't do that, you should lose custody. Got it?

 

[Ohiogal]

The only thing I ask for half on is the childcare. I pay all their Rx copays, sports etc. I agree, if I put them in sports it is my responsibility to pay. I do my best to let the kids do one activity each when I can afford it. The boys' Rx copays are not cheap but to me it is not worth the time it takes to get the money. Unfortunately the cost for summer childcare quadruples because it is 4 rather than 1, so I have to ask for help. When school starts again I won't be asking for it. He has a new baby to worry about, I can do the childcare on my own.

Did you pay half of the daycare dad required when the kids visited him? Did you prove what dad's cost is to him?

 

[candg918]

Many "camps" cost more than child care. Did dad have any input into the choices? Did you bother to consider costs when selecting an option? If so, was where was this in the mix? Did you investigate in home childcare that could very likely been less costly than camp for 4?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

I haven't sent it to him, what I posted was what I wanted to send to him. I haven't sent anything to him yet.

There are no cheaper camps, and I cannot get someone in here cheaper than what I am paying for camp. I offered them to stay as long as he wanted for the summer, he chose only half the summer. While they were there, his wife was caring for them when he was working a few hours in the morning.

I realize it is out of line, I am just frustrated at being so financially strapped and the pitiful way he does not even address our oldest son. Luckily my family are going to help me out til I start getting paid for my new job. Thank you all for setting me straight.