my children have bad behavior

[RemitAdvice]

You know, it's hurts my hand to spank sometimes. And my Pa, he didn't like spanking past 5, 'cause I was a girl...So...he worked my ass off. There was a stack of 100 cinders in the driveway. (A 100 yd driveway, uphill one way). If I was ever dumb enough to smart mouth him, boy were my arms sore the next day after carrying them down the hill, one by one, taking a 5 minute break when finished stacking them, then carrying them all back UP the hill. And stacking them.
And weeding
And mowing
And washing the cars
Painting the deck
and picking up sticks in the yard
and digging a hole, as square as the shovel is long and just as deep. And then filling it back up.

The man's got my respect, I gotta say. And, having a 4 yo boy and 5 yo girl, who are nothing but imps themselves, they find themselves doing quite a bit of menial labor and housework....AND IT WORKS.

 

[RRevak]

this is why we have this overcrowding of the prisions. Children should be on court supervision the 1st time they do something not the 150th or what ever it might be because all it does is teach them that someone care's other than my mom if I misbehave and not let them go out and steal and bring them home to me. As a juvinille that shows them that if they do something they are going to be brought home by the cops and that is all as they grow older the same habits grow and now become more intense and now you want to lock them up or take them away from me?! If you could stop them before they turn 18 you'd see less children in the prision system and save our tax dollars. Like probation some kids need it (mine) that would let them know that hey they are not playing with me I gotta straighten up. I have talked till my face has turned blue about this and it hurts so bad. They are my kids and dad doesn't have a damn thing to do with that he bailed a long time ago.

Note the keyword "you" in this statement. As others have said I personally have NO problem scaring the bejeesus out of my daughter, and wont have any problems equally scaring my son when he's older. I dont personally need anyone else to help me out on those fronts. Maybe if YOU had scared YOUR children a little more rather than waiting for the state or police department to do it for you, you wouldnt have found yourself in this predicament.

 

[RRevak]

My advice to you;

Get yourself and your children some decent representation and enjoy. You've received your wish.

 

[Feliciaconfused]

You are so right

He He, I need an old fashion house on a few acres truely to run them all day until they are tired. (lol) yard I need yard. Small home very close nit community have not been here very long. There are alot of children in the neighboorhood whom have very similair traits as my children. (ADHD amoung talk out loud to their parents like crap. Right outside of the home no good for my kids because the kids that are doing this are teenagers) my kids are picking up more behaviors now and are bold enough to copy the things that they see other children do. These are the one's that they want to play with! Their parents are going crazy too.

 

[Feliciaconfused]

something to think about

People are afraid of the future, of the unknown. If a man faces up to it, and takes the dare of the future, he can have some control of his destiny. That's an exciting ideal to me. Better than waiting with everybody else to see whats going to happen.. John H. Glenn 1921 American astronaut and U.S. Senator.

 

[stealth2]

this is why we have this overcrowding of the prisions. Children should be on court supervision the 1st time they do something not the 150th or what ever it might be because all it does is teach them that someone care's other than my mom if I misbehave and not let them go out and steal and bring them home to me. As a juvinille that shows them that if they do something they are going to be brought home by the cops and that is all as they grow older the same habits grow and now become more intense and now you want to lock them up or take them away from me?! If you could stop them before they turn 18 you'd see less children in the prision system and save our tax dollars. Like probation some kids need it (mine) that would let them know that hey they are not playing with me I gotta straighten up. I have talked till my face has turned blue about this and it hurts so bad. They are my kids and dad doesn't have a damn thing to do with that he bailed a long time ago.

So... what did you do the first time one of your children did something s/he shouldn't have been doing? And I don't mean doing something that resulted in being brought home by the cops. But the first time they sassed you. What did you do?

 

[Feliciaconfused]

reply

o.k. the first time one of my kids got into trouble it was in Kindercare learning center a daycare program in our city. My kid was actually 3 years of age and had been giving the daycare people problems from day one and he is now 9. He had on their last straw bit one of the class room teachers and I had got a call while at work asking me to come in and pick him up. Well to make a very long story short this was the last thing that he had did there because they had terminated services for him and as that resulted I took the rest of my kids outta that daycare. I just decided to be at home with my own kids for a while. well as far as punishment what can you really tell a 3 year old that he would really understand other than what I had already told him. That Mommy has to go to work and these people are gonna take care of you until I return please be on your best behavior while I am gone love you. You can not really punish a 3 year old they barely understand I made him however apologize to the lady and he seem remoresful at the time. as the years went on the aggressive behavior did as well. I am now a full time mommy at home so I can be at my kids every beckon call or police call.? Figures that they would just take over my life like this and not allow me to even hold a decent job.

 

[acmb05]

o.k. the first time one of my kids got into trouble it was in Kindercare learning center a daycare program in our city. My kid was actually 3 years of age and had been giving the daycare people problems from day one and he is now 9. He had on their last straw bit one of the class room teachers and I had got a call while at work asking me to come in and pick him up. Well to make a very long story short this was the last thing that he had did there because they had terminated services for him and as that resulted I took the rest of my kids outta that daycare. I just decided to be at home with my own kids for a while. well as far as punishment what can you really tell a 3 year old that he would really understand other than what I had already told him.

I would have whipped his ass.

That Mommy has to go to work and these people are gonna take care of you until I return please be on your best behavior while I am gone love you.

You are going to daycare and if you are bad when you get home you will be punished.

You can not really punish a 3 year old they barely understand I made him however apologize to the lady and he seem remoresful at the time. as the years went on the aggressive behavior did as well.

Evidently not so remorseful huh?

I am now a full time mommy at home so I can be at my kids every beckon call or police call.?

So you coddle them instead of punish them.

Figures that they would just take over my life like this and not allow me to even hold a decent job.

That's what happens when you keep your feet in the air and not flat on the floor. Although I did know this one girl...... oh never mind.

 

[justalayman]

One of them also has mood disorder and PTSD.

what could have happened to a 10, 9, 6, or 4 yo where they would have PTSD?

 

[Proserpina]

what could have happened to a 10, 9, 6, or 4 yo where they would have PTSD?

I witnessed a fatal train crash when I was younger than 10 years of age which involved a relative.

Yes, it still affects me to this day though of course to nowhere near the extent that it did back then.

While I completely agree with and understand where you're going with this (gee, there's a shock ) ...it does happen.

 

[stealth2]

o.k. the first time one of my kids got into trouble it was in Kindercare learning center a daycare program in our city. My kid was actually 3 years of age and had been giving the daycare people problems from day one and he is now 9. He had on their last straw bit one of the class room teachers and I had got a call while at work asking me to come in and pick him up. Well to make a very long story short this was the last thing that he had did there because they had terminated services for him and as that resulted I took the rest of my kids outta that daycare.

If he'd been giving them problems from day one, biting the teacher was NOT the first time he got into trouble. Not by a long shot. But it sounds as though you didn't do much of anything those other times, either.

I just decided to be at home with my own kids for a while.

Well, that's nice.

well as far as punishment what can you really tell a 3 year old that he would really understand other than what I had already told him. That Mommy has to go to work and these people are gonna take care of you until I return please be on your best behavior while I am gone love you. You can not really punish a 3 year old they barely understand I made him however apologize to the lady and he seem remoresful at the time. as the years went on the aggressive behavior did as well.

Well, let's see... If 3yo's can't understand how to behave properly, why do more parents not have aggressive children? Why do most kids learn that we don't bite, we don't hit, we don't do whatever your kids are apparently doing?

What did you do for him when his behavior continued?

I am now a full time mommy at home so I can be at my kids every beckon call or police call.? Figures that they would just take over my life like this and not allow me to even hold a decent job.

Well... when you choose to be a SAHP of young children, then yes, you pretty much ARE at their beck and call. Especially when you choose to have FOUR of them. One is almost always going to be needing something from you. It's just the way it goes. Heck, mine are 16 and 18, very independent, yet even they often need something from me. And ya know what? I am more than happy to do so.

Where is/are the father/s of these children?

As to the question by layman "what could have happened to a 10, 9, 6, or 4 yo where they would have PTSD? "... my guess would be experiencing or witnessing some type of severe abuse, or possibly witnessing a horrific crime (I am certain I read OP posting that they live in a not-great area filled with less-than-desirable residents. Again, my guess would be somewhere like South Central. So, yeah, I can see PTSD occurring in a kid that young.

 

[Feliciaconfused]

Some People

Look Guys, This is what I am talking about and I will be frank (not to offfend anyone) Bening a single mom was not my choice; I made some poor decisions at a young age when I decided to have my babies. I guess some of us think that we are in love when we lie down with someone (well for me it was) I tell you this because people are so quick to judge a person whether single or married when they decide to have a large family. Circumstances and people change and you gotta keep your head up! This is something that I heard along the way that I read daily....ATTITUDE...The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude is more that education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people say or do. It is more than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, or a home. The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change the fact that people act a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string that we have and that is Attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. So it is with you, we are in charge of our ATTITUDES. Author is unkown by me (I sure wish that I knew) Don't be so quick to judge it could have been you....

 

[acmb05]

Look Guys, This is what I am talking about and I will be frank (not to offfend anyone) Bening a single mom was not my choice; I made some poor decisions at a young age when I decided to have my babies.

This is what CHOICE is. You made a choice to lay down and have children.

I guess some of us think that we are in love when we lie down with someone (well for me it was) I tell you this because people are so quick to judge a person whether single or married when they decide to have a large family. Circumstances and people change and you gotta keep your head up! This is something that I heard along the way that I read daily....ATTITUDE...The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude is more that education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people say or do. It is more than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, or a home. The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change the fact that people act a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string that we have and that is Attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. So it is with you, we are in charge of our ATTITUDES. Author is unkown by me (I sure wish that I knew) Don't be so quick to judge it could have been you....

Lady it is me. I have been raising 4 children basically on my own for 7 years. Now I am completely on my own and have been for over a year. NONE of my children act that way. Why you may ask? Because when they were younger they knew better than to bite or hit people or use foul language or do anything that would require the police having to be called.

Sure being a single parent is hard work, but you have to take charge and not let the kids be in charge.

 

[GinAA]

I agree. You know when I was growing up a parent could whip your butt and actually punish you. In the last 20 years or so they have gradually taken the right to punish your children away from you. Coincidently this is about the same time that doctors started diagnosing kids with adhd and other illnesses and put them on medications to control it.

Most of these kids just need a good kick in the pants.

I have a wooden paddle that I keep in view of the household. I have had this for 21 years, since my first was born. All I have to do it pick it up and there is a wonderful quiet over the land. I have never had to use it but they all understand that I would!

 

[GinAA]

o.k. the first time one of my kids got into trouble it was in Kindercare learning center a daycare program in our city. My kid was actually 3 years of age and had been giving the daycare people problems from day one and he is now 9. He had on their last straw bit one of the class room teachers and I had got a call while at work asking me to come in and pick him up. Well to make a very long story short this was the last thing that he had did there because they had terminated services for him and as that resulted I took the rest of my kids outta that daycare. I just decided to be at home with my own kids for a while. well as far as punishment what can you really tell a 3 year old that he would really understand other than what I had already told him. That Mommy has to go to work and these people are gonna take care of you until I return please be on your best behavior while I am gone love you. You can not really punish a 3 year old they barely understand I made him however apologize to the lady and he seem remoresful at the time. as the years went on the aggressive behavior did as well. I am now a full time mommy at home so I can be at my kids every beckon call or police call.? Figures that they would just take over my life like this and not allow me to even hold a decent job.

I have a 3 yr old and she gets Time out, then a swat if the Time Out didn't cover it. You can punish a 3 yr old so that they understand.