Should I leave my house?

[LdiJ]

First of all, thank you for all honesty advice and answer. I am seriously considering all your say.




If we come up as joint legal and physical custody, do we both pay child support? or Do I still pay full amount child support and my wife doesn't pay at all?

Only one parent pays support, and that is the parent with the higher income. Again, its generally a smaller amount of support than would be ordered in a non 50/50 situation.

Father usually will very difficult to have primary custody. There is a bias against men that women will do a better job than men taking good care of kids in the family court. I am so aware of that so that I prepared this journal 6 months ago to tell the Judge "I can do it and I am better and I am serious about taking good care of my kids". Also, without these evidence and no witnesses, what is supposed to let the Judge rely on what evidence if both sides says they do this or they do that. yes, I think I will consult with my lawyer how to best use this. Thank you for reminding me this weakness.

There is not a bias against men. Still today most primary caretakers for children are the mothers. The system is biased towards primary caretakers, and that is really how it should be.

Just a knowledge base, at least how many years' marriage, people will pay much alimony?

There really isn't much in the way of formulas for alimony.

This battle is starting. the school district of the house I bought and we are living is not so good. If my wife moves to a better school district after the exclusive use of my home granted to me, does it mean I will suffer disadvantages? what will be my defense strategy in your experience if so? Should I just sell my house and also move to a better school district or give up the house to her and I move out?

Children should always go to school in the better district if its workable. That is just common sense. You should want that for your children.

Selling your house and moving to a better school district is fine, but if mom is also in a good school district it won't give you any advantage. It will just ensure that one way or another your children will be going to good schools.

You cannot give up the house to her. She cannot afford it nor could she refinance it to take your name off the mortgage.

[quoteI've known that. I believe I am a better cooperator than my wife to handle this.[/QUOTE]

You do not come across that way. That is not the impression that you give.
You stated that mom was wanting joint custody and you were wanting full custody. That's a greater sign that mom is more willing to be cooperative than you.

 

[bluesky368]

There is not a bias against men. Still today most primary caretakers for children are the mothers. The system is biased towards primary caretakers, and that is really how it should be.

I don't understand. Why is the system biased towards primary caretakers who are usually mothers. Don't you want to say mothers should not always be the primary caretakers?

You stated that mom was wanting joint custody and you were wanting full custody. That's a greater sign that mom is more willing to be cooperative than you.

I think the only big difference to us is I want to live with kids and she wants to live with the kids. Joint legal custody is fine to us. I am still confused here. If the mom lives with the kids, that means I will pay child support to mom, correct? If the kids live with me, the mom will pay child support to me, correct? If joint physical custody (50/50), that means the kids will stay 50% with me and 50% with mom, correct? and I will pay half child support to mom and mom doesn't pay at all, correct? For example, if not joint physical, I will pay $1000/month to mom. If joint physical, I will pay $500 to mom, correct?

 

[mistoffolees]

I don't understand. Why is the system biased towards primary caretakers who are usually mothers. Don't you want to say mothers should not always be the primary caretakers?

Leave the genders out of it.

The court wants what is best for the kids. Normally, that is for them to stay with the person who has been caring for them the most. If both parents have been caring for them equally and if it's practical given the circumstances, then that would mean 50:50.

I think the only big difference to us is I want to live with kids and she wants to live with the kids. Joint legal custody is fine to us. I am still confused here. If the mom lives with the kids, that means I will pay child support to mom, correct? If the kids live with me, the mom will pay child support to me, correct? If joint physical custody (50/50), that means the kids will stay 50% with me and 50% with mom, correct? and I will pay half child support to mom and mom doesn't pay at all, correct? For example, if not joint physical, I will pay $1000/month to mom. If joint physical, I will pay $500 to mom, correct?

That's not the way it works. If one person has primary physical, you can look up the calculator for your state to determine how much support the NCP would pay. In some states, the other spouse's income counts while in other states it does not. Use the calculator for your state.

If you have 50:50, then the standard calculator may not apply. Again, it depends greatly on the state, but typically, they look at the DIFFERENCE between the two parents' incomes. If the parents have equal incomes and equal parenting time (and sometimes, equal expenses), then child care is likely to be zero. The larger the difference between the two incomes, the greater the amount of child support. But it would certainly be less than a normal CP/NCP situation.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't understand. Why is the system biased towards primary caretakers who are usually mothers. Don't you want to say mothers should not always be the primary caretakers?

No, that's not at all what I want to say. I am saying that its better for the children to spend most of their time with the person (overall) who has provided most of their care. In a situation where both parents have been equal caregivers, then 50/50 can be appropriate.

That means that if dad (overall) was the primary caretaker, then dad should have primary custody, or if mom (overall) was the primary caretaker, then mom should have primary custody.

I think the only big difference to us is I want to live with kids and she wants to live with the kids. Joint legal custody is fine to us. I am still confused here. If the mom lives with the kids, that means I will pay child support to mom, correct? If the kids live with me, the mom will pay child support to me, correct? If joint physical custody (50/50), that means the kids will stay 50% with me and 50% with mom, correct? and I will pay half child support to mom and mom doesn't pay at all, correct? For example, if not joint physical, I will pay $1000/month to mom. If joint physical, I will pay $500 to mom, correct?

That is somewhat correct, in a simplistic fashion. There are other variables that go into child support calculations as well...but you are getting the general idea. If mom was the one with the bigger income, then mom would be paying child support to you in a 50/50 situation.

 

[bluesky368]

That's not the way it works. If one person has primary physical, you can look up the calculator for your state to determine how much support the NCP would pay. In some states, the other spouse's income counts while in other states it does not. Use the calculator for your state.

My case is in IL. It seems to me it doesn't count parenting time as an element for calculating child support in IL. Are you familiar with this in IL? Do you know where to get this info online?

Something I may not be clear with the definition of primary custody. As I said in the last post, joint legal custody is fine to us. The only difference is who should live with the kids (physical custody). Is this a primary custody request or joint custody request? What should I put?

 

[LdiJ]

My case is in IL. It seems to me it doesn't count parenting time as an element for calculating child support in IL. Are you familiar with this in IL? Do you know where to get this info online?

Something I may not be clear with the definition of primary custody. As I said in the last post, joint legal custody is fine to us. The only difference is who should live with the kids (physical custody). Is this a primary custody request or joint custody request? What should I put?

I am really thinking that you need an attorney...you just don't seem to understand how things work.

 

[mistoffolees]

My case is in IL. It seems to me it doesn't count parenting time as an element for calculating child support in IL. Are you familiar with this in IL? Do you know where to get this info online?

Something I may not be clear with the definition of primary custody. As I said in the last post, joint legal custody is fine to us. The only difference is who should live with the kids (physical custody). Is this a primary custody request or joint custody request? What should I put?

I agree with ld. You need an attorney.

Just so you understand your conversation with the attorney:

1. Legal custody determines who gets to make major decisions concerning the child (selection of school, etc). Joint legal means that you both do it together and should reach an agreement.

2. Physical custody determines where the child lives. Primary physical custody means that the child spends most of the time with that parent. "joint physical custody" is really a meaningless term. If you mean "50:50 physical custody, that means the child spends 50% of the time with each parent. This only works if you're physically close enough for it to work (so that both parents have an easy commute to the school if nothing else) and if you work well together.

3. IL child support calculator is here:
Illinois Child Support Calculator - AllLaw.com
HOWEVER, that does not apply to situations where physical custody is close to 50:50. It mainly applies to the situation where one parent has the child most of the time. For situations closer to 50:50, ask your attorney. As I said - if you each have the child 50% of the time and have similar incomes, there will likely be no child support. The greater the difference in incomes and the more the time varies from 50:50, the greater the child support might be.