Visitation has been suspended for three years...

[gr8rn]

You know, I had a hunch about something, so I went and reviewed some of your older posts. You continue to write long diatribes about this situation, and even posted as Dad, you were told not to do this, then you started the current username. In all of this, I see a pattern here. You are passionate about Dads problems. You seem to want everyone to care about his issues. Why is Dad not writing the diatribes that you feel the need to write?

I would like to suggest something. First of all, do some reading up on Narcissistic personality disorder. Not for anyone here, but for yourself. A diagnosis such as this, is not given haphazardly, or on a whim.

Narcissists are very good at grabbing on to everyone around them and pulling them into the eye of the storm that is their existance. Everyone around them is expected to focus so succinctly, and completeley on the narcissist and his/her issues. Some might say, that every day they are "playing a perverted chess game of power" and everyone around them is a pawn.

I believe he has lost visitation for a reason. His daughter was exhausted for a reason. At 12, she has seen the issues and has rebelled against having to be in his presence. He took something she said, and twisted it around to make himself feel the power, and he went and tried to twist it into a power game with Mom, and before the child knew what was happening, he was trying to get more time, or more custody, or whatever, and that poor child saw that she was being pulled into the vortex, and she flipped out. Mom, knowing the situation, because she WAS at one time VERY familiar with the issues, went into Momma bear mode to protect her child.

This is only my humble opinion, because I BTDT, and maybe I am wrong, but I know one thing. This is not a label that is given lightly in a Psych eval.

Just some food for thought..

 

[gr8rn]

I'm still going through your old posts, I find them fascinating. Just wanted to point out that in December of '07 you or your husband, whomever wrote the diatribe, were told to GET AN ATTORNEY!!!

There is only one type of personality that I know of that would continuously lose in court for 3 years, yet, still insist they don't need an attorney. I won't say the word, but I will give you a hint... it rhymes with farcissist.

 

[SMinNJ]

I'm still going through your old posts, I find them fascinating. Just wanted to point out that in December of '07 you or your husband, whomever wrote the diatribe, were told to GET AN ATTORNEY!!!

There is only one type of personality that I know of that would continuously lose in court for 3 years, yet, still insist they don't need an attorney. I won't say the word, but I will give you a hint... it rhymes with farcissist.

Thank you Gr8rn for your input. I have read a lot about NPD, and continue to do the research. I don't disagree that some of the traits fit, I just see different reasonings for it, and don't necessarily believe that mental defect is one. I have been married to my husband for over 9 years now, and I think that I see him fairly clearly, but of course love-tinted glasses are always possible. But, as I said, his current counselor, who has been with him for the last three plus years, doesn't see it either, and has stated that she would present that in court when necessary.

I believe that I apologized back then for writing in my husband's name, and have since then always written in mine. It is true that I do alot of the research, etc. for my husband. I don't believe that is a bad thing, since I am doing it upon his request, with time that I have and he does not. Families help out with things that way, and that's what we've chosen to do. My doing the work doesn't mean he cares any less.

I know that it has been recommended previously that he get a lawyer. The same reasons that I believe I stated in the past hold true. Finances, new family, and displeasure with previous attornies who missed things, very similar to the whole "don't file again thing" have occurred all around. I do, however, see the value of having an attorney, and will encourage my husband.

Oh, and I was present for the conversation in which his daughter asked to come live with him. She was exhausted, that was true, but it was by her mom and her mom's family. She was in tears, and it was truly unprompted. She was fed up and was done. Perhaps just teenage angst, but he did not read something into something she said and run with it to make it his. She asked, and asked, and asked, time and again. And he went to mom and tried to talk with her, and suggested that the child talk to her about her frustrations. He did not truly enter into this lightly.

I am sorry for the "diatribes" as you call them. I tend to write a book when a haiku will do.

Thanks for your time.