Can the court require both parents to work?

[noname123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CT

I am increasing worried my wife (who was a SAHM) might be planning to not work (or work a small part time job) after we divorce. I know it is likely my responsibility to pay alimony for several years (we've been married 21) and to my mind I AM responsible for helping her get additional training/education to start providing for herself over time (she has an MA in education).

Our boys are 15/16 and I work out of my home office so there really is very little logistically to stop her from getting a full-time job.

She has said things to me like she doesn't feel she is "ready" to work yet.

We are in OK financial shape (we own our own home outright and have enough to buy a second home for cash), but past that I can't see how I am going to be responsible for providing 2 homes, all the taxes, insurance, upkeep and energy costs without her taking some responsibility in the long haul to take responsibility for her own life.

I have 2 sons I'd like to be able to put through college (heck my 16 who is very bright had me take him to RPI last month!), but I just don't see how she can decide to continue to be a SAHM.

Is there something the courts do that mandate both spouses become employed full-time?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CT

I am increasing worried my wife (who was a SAHM) might be planning to not work (or work a small part time job) after we divorce. I know it is likely my responsibility to pay alimony for several years (we've been married 21) and to my mind I AM responsible for helping her get additional training/education to start providing for herself over time (she has an MA in education).

Our boys are 15/16 and I work out of my home office so there really is very little logistically to stop her from getting a full-time job.

She has said things to me like she doesn't feel she is "ready" to work yet.

We are in OK financial shape (we own our own home outright and have enough to buy a second home for cash), but past that I can't see how I am going to be responsible for providing 2 homes, all the taxes, insurance, upkeep and energy costs without her taking some responsibility in the long haul to take responsibility for her own life.

I have 2 sons I'd like to be able to put through college (heck my 16 who is very bright had me take him to RPI last month!), but I just don't see how she can decide to continue to be a SAHM.

Is there something the courts do that mandate both spouses become employed full-time?

Half the marital property (the equity in the house and the money in the bank for instance) is hers. She can be imputed an income but no one can be forced to work.

 

[nextwife]

She's a fool if she doesn't work. 21 years is NOT enough time save sufficient funds to provide for two separate retirements and the retirement med costs. Whatever she gets in the divorce can't be enough to fully cover eventual elder years.

Plus, she'll need health coverage.

 

[stealth2]

I have 2 sons I'd like to be able to put through college (heck my 16 who is very bright had me take him to RPI last month!), but I just don't see how she can decide to continue to be a SAHM.

Well... I can say that her lack of employment, especially if she is the CP, will only be positive when it comes to completing the FAFSA. Of course, your income may/will affect the kids' entire FinAid package.

But I have to say... While I have held RPI in relatively high regard in the past? Knowing kids from my son's class who were accepted there (and no, it is not sour grapes - it's not a school he applied to as his interests lie elsewhere)? I am no longer so impressed.

 

[mistoffolees]

Well... I can say that her lack of employment, especially if she is the CP, will only be positive when it comes to completing the FAFSA. Of course, your income may/will affect the kids' entire FinAid package.

But I have to say... While I have held RPI in relatively high regard in the past? Knowing kids from my son's class who were accepted there (and no, it is not sour grapes - it's not a school he applied to as his interests lie elsewhere)? I am no longer so impressed.

OT, but RPI has some great programs. It all depends on what you're studying.

It's no MIT, but it's a good school.

 

[stealth2]

Oh, I know, misto. But it isn't THAT great a school that someone should necessarily use it as bragging rights when a kid just visits. Ya know?

 

[mistoffolees]

Oh, I know, misto. But it isn't THAT great a school that someone should necessarily use it as bragging rights when a kid just visits. Ya know?

Agreed. Heck, there isn't ANY school that should be used as bragging rights just because of a visit.

 

[stealth2]

Well, I don't know about *that*! My very speshul beacon of brightness has visited CalTech and that should be recognized to the highest levels. Of course, she was only 3. But that just goes to show ya just how speshully speshul she really is!

 

[noname123]

I guess I shouldn't have mentioned a college in my post. I just mentioned the school to illustrate the burden likely placed entirely upon me after divorce...I think we are way off topic.

I'll simplify the question. Does the judge take into consideration the spouses earning potential (even though they haven't worked but are well educated) in considering amount and length of alimony?

You could look it at two ways, my wife is uninterested in supporting herself after divorce and sees alimony as a retirement plan, or she plans to take responsibility for her own life, get a job, and make her own living (which I think she never wants to have to do). This is why I asked the original question.

 

[LdiJ]

I guess I shouldn't have mentioned a college in my post. I just mentioned the school to illustrate the burden likely placed entirely upon me after divorce...I think we are way off topic.

I'll simplify the question. Does the judge take into consideration the spouses earning potential (even though they haven't worked but are well educated) in considering amount and length of alimony?

You could look it at two ways, my wife is uninterested in supporting herself after divorce and sees alimony as a retirement plan, or she plans to take responsibility for her own life, get a job, and make her own living (which I think she never wants to have to do). This is why I asked the original question.

Yes, earning potential is generally taken into consideration when determining alimony. However, if your wife hasn't worked in 21 years, then that education is not necessarily going to do her much good.

If she could get a job in education, she would have to start out at the bottom, masters or no masters.

 

[stealth2]

I guess I shouldn't have mentioned a college in my post. I just mentioned the school to illustrate the burden likely placed entirely upon me after divorce...I think we are way off topic.

Well, actually, no. The burden does NOT have to be placed entirely on you. There's someone you're not including in the equation - your son. It is, after all, HIS education. If he wants it badly enough, he will find a way to get it. Doing well in school and on his SATs could net him some great scholarship money. His mother's low income could, actually, be a positive for him as FAFSA is based on the CPs household income. Between those two factors, my son has a free ride in terms of tuition. His Dad (who actually IS ordered to pay 100% for college) is paying a portion of room/board, and he's covering the rest of room/board with (minor) loans and a job. I'm providing what I can for additional expenses.

 

[noname123]

Actually I don't see at as burden, I see it as a responsibility (or gift) to my sons since I brought them into this world.

Although it seems more like a burden when placed up against a divorce where my ex-wife is likely in no hurry to get a job or even get additional training to be qualified to get one.

There is a big difference in my mind (and hopefully the courts) where they see her as a potential wage earner (heck my sister got her first teaching job at 46) who could make an decent living (starting teaching jobs are 40k'ish where we live). Yes it won't happen overnight, but it sure won't ever happen if she never makes the effort.

It seems somewhat like a double-standard, I am sure I am not going allowed by the courts to pursue any job interests in the future that might yield a lower paying job. So I am required to carry the burden of my single life and her single life just because she chooses to (or is allowed to) place the complete burden on me for as long as I am financially responsible for her.

Granted this is a rant, and I do understand that me paying alimony in our situation is a slamdunk, but I think the amount and length of this could vary a great deal depending if her potential yearly income is $0 ... or say $40k+, yes?

 

[xylene]

Your kid couldn't be that bright if he doesn't have scholarship potential.

Why were OK with her not working when you were married?

Tactical error?

 

[noname123]

My kid is that bright likely he will be scholarship potential, but if he gets a scholarship to Uni A, but gets into a better Uni B without a scholarship I'll help him all I can.

Yes I was OK with her not working, it was my gift to her when we were married. When we are not married, I'll have to keep providing for her and considered it fair I support her in her quest for employment like any single mother does and I'd expect there still to be an issue with our disparity in incomes even into the future.

However, if she wants to be a stay-at-home-divorced-mom I don't think I owe it to support her forever in that capacity. Hopefully, the court will put some pressure on her to become financially independent, just as I will have the pressure on me to support 2 homes, and all the other things that will double up with our split.

 

[xylene]

Yes I was OK with her not working, it was my gift to her when we were married.

Well, it is the gift that keeps on giving.