Can the court require both parents to work?

[xylene]

, just as I will have the pressure on me to support 2 homes, and all the other things that will double up with our split.

Get less expensive homes

Rent

Are you telling me you only have one car now?

 

[nextwife]

Considering the vast number of adults I know who had to learn/find entirely new careers after 40 or 50 (I was one of those who had to do something very different after 50), the idea that a woman who was a SAHM is considered incapable of doing so is just SOOOO insulting to my gender. The whole concept that an able bodied, mentally sharp adult (woman, mostly) is not considered capable of learning a career in mid life, and must be supported forever, like a wee baby, is just so patronizing and belittling. I know so many women who went out after 40 and got degrees or new careers without new degrees. Men too. Why does having been married make an ex less CAPABLE DOING WHAT ALL THESE OTHERS DID?

Besides, causing them to continue to be dependent is a really bad long term plan. If the alimony payor is disabled, falls off a cliff, gets hit by a bus, is in a coma, etc, where does that leave the dependent ex spouse? Continued dependency should be for babies or the developmentally disabled, not well and normal grown ups.

Rant over.

 

[noname123]

I am NOT implying she is incapable, she has an MA in education, she is a pretty smart cookie...what I am saying is she doesn't want to have to work (or doesn't think she has to)...

Rant accepted, I could be a woman just as easy as a man. I know plenty of women who are doing amazing things in the 40's and 50's with plenty of hardship they had to endure in their life before getting there. This is not gender specific I just happen to be a man.

My point was THIS particular person, my wife, was a SAHM, and I supported her and gave her every opportunity to enjoy life, not have to work, be there for her kids, etc. She knows we are headed to D/S but I know her well enough to know she really doesn't want to have to work or maybe at best dabble in a part time job.

I just don't know how the courts view it, is alimony based on the theory that she will get a job, will pay her own bills, will get her own health care...at _some_ point down the road?

Clearly, for the forseeable future I am on the hook for everything, and as such I am (to put it a business-like manner) providing the same things (albeit at much more expense, 2 houses, 2 cars, 2 taxes) I was during the marriage? Does that mean she is going to do both mine and hers grocery shopping, laundry,etc (heck I'll get the boys off to school, clean the house on weekends, make 1/2 the meals just like I am doing now plus a 9-10 hour a day job).

 

[LdiJ]

I am NOT implying she is incapable, she has an MA in education, she is a pretty smart cookie...what I am saying is she doesn't want to have to work (or doesn't think she has to)...

Rant accepted, I could be a woman just as easy as a man. I know plenty of women who are doing amazing things in the 40's and 50's with plenty of hardship they had to endure in their life before getting there. This is not gender specific I just happen to be a man.

My point was THIS particular person, my wife, was a SAHM, and I supported her and gave her every opportunity to enjoy life, not have to work, be there for her kids, etc. She knows we are headed to D/S but I know her well enough to know she really doesn't want to have to work or maybe at best dabble in a part time job.

I just don't know how the courts view it, is alimony based on the theory that she will get a job, will pay her own bills, will get her own health care...at _some_ point down the road?

Clearly, for the forseeable future I am on the hook for everything, and as such I am (to put it a business-like manner) providing the same things (albeit at much more expense, 2 houses, 2 cars, 2 taxes) I was during the marriage? Does that mean she is going to do both mine and hers grocery shopping, laundry,etc (heck I'll get the boys off to school, clean the house on weekends, make 1/2 the meals just like I am doing now plus a 9-10 hour a day job).

I think that in your situation you are likely to be on the hook for short term alimony, (a few years) but not likely long term alimony). She has education. She may need refresher courses in your state to be able to get licensed to teach (and you should absolutely research that so that you can argue that in court, as well as find out how easy it is for new teachers to get jobs) but odds are she will be expected to eventually support herself.