Ex trying to make me pay his attorney

[cwmayhem]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
In our decree, ex was ordered to pay 1/2 daycare, medical, school and extracurricular expenses. He was laid off in 2008, but made on average $1800 per month after cs and taxes (was union and got benefits there plus unemployment and lives for free with his parents). State's attorney is involved for cs - another long story - and knows how much he was making.
When he started dating current gf, decided he no longer wants to pay his 1/2 of anything. He claims he is unemployed, but was paying these fine prior. Further, my parents were watching the kids for free for a year (we were living there) but it just got too expensive for them, so asked us to pay $120 per week ($60 for each). Ex says he never signed a contract, so refuses to even consider payment, even though he knew about it from the get-go.
So, I have been filing motions pro se for almost a year, and heard that courts don't take you seriously w/o attorney. My judge just said keep a running total. At this point, he is $5000 behind (including monies to my parents that they kept a running total of), I can no longer keep running total, and I have had to hire attorney, to force him to pay. I am using whatever I have in savings on this and then some.
He hired attorney (think gf is paying) and now they have filed to have me pay his attorney fees! (As well as asking to no longer be responsible for med insurance, and abating all other court ordered shared payments) We are in court primarily because he is in contempt of court for over a year.
My question is, can they force me to pay? I work 2 jobs, and am just making ends meet, even after cs. I have been mostly supporting the kids (2 kids ages 10 and 6) on my own and am drowning in bills. Daycare alone is $500 per month!
Shouldn't he be ordered to pay mine because he is in contempt?
Also, the union is no longer providing benefits, jobs, insurance to him. Can I demand he start looking at non union or other fields? Would they order it? At this point, it is more like voluntary unemployment because he has refused to look at other things. (He submits "job diaries" which I have never been allowed to view and I know he has missed at least 1 short call in the union)
Thank you in advance for any advice!

 

[Ohiogal]

What evidence is there that you pay your parents $120 a week for daycare? Do you live with them still? What do you pay them for rent? How much daycare do your children need since they are in school? Does the school have an afterschool program that can watch them?

 

[cwmayhem]

I hav cancelled checks, plus bill and signed letter from my parents. We no longer live with my parents, I have purchased a home. The kids need daycare before and after school as they are only 10 and 6. There is no after school care, and the new daycare (home daycare) is $125 per week. She drives them to and from school, over the summer they went to museum, etc. and I work full time at my first job, leave at 6:30 am and return at 5pm.
He does not want to help with daycare at all, in fact has given up all extended visitation and sees them 2 nights per month - his choice.
But still, can they make me pay his attorney fees? I am basically the one that takes care of them, he refuses.

 

[cwmayhem]

Anyone, any advice? Or is it hopeless?

 

[Proserpina]

Anyone, any advice? Or is it hopeless?

It's Saturday...we are all volunteers here, most with families and obligations of our own.

Please have some patience.

 

[cwmayhem]

Sorry! Just really worried and frustrated...

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
In our decree, ex was ordered to pay 1/2 daycare, medical, school and extracurricular expenses. He was laid off in 2008, but made on average $1800 per month after cs and taxes (was union and got benefits there plus unemployment and lives for free with his parents). State's attorney is involved for cs - another long story - and knows how much he was making.
When he started dating current gf, decided he no longer wants to pay his 1/2 of anything. He claims he is unemployed, but was paying these fine prior. Further, my parents were watching the kids for free for a year (we were living there) but it just got too expensive for them, so asked us to pay $120 per week ($60 for each). Ex says he never signed a contract, so refuses to even consider payment, even though he knew about it from the get-go.
So, I have been filing motions pro se for almost a year, and heard that courts don't take you seriously w/o attorney. My judge just said keep a running total. At this point, he is $5000 behind (including monies to my parents that they kept a running total of), I can no longer keep running total, and I have had to hire attorney, to force him to pay. I am using whatever I have in savings on this and then some.
He hired attorney (think gf is paying) and now they have filed to have me pay his attorney fees! (As well as asking to no longer be responsible for med insurance, and abating all other court ordered shared payments) We are in court primarily because he is in contempt of court for over a year.
My question is, can they force me to pay? I work 2 jobs, and am just making ends meet, even after cs. I have been mostly supporting the kids (2 kids ages 10 and 6) on my own and am drowning in bills. Daycare alone is $500 per month!
Shouldn't he be ordered to pay mine because he is in contempt?
Also, the union is no longer providing benefits, jobs, insurance to him. Can I demand he start looking at non union or other fields? Would they order it? At this point, it is more like voluntary unemployment because he has refused to look at other things. (He submits "job diaries" which I have never been allowed to view and I know he has missed at least 1 short call in the union)
Thank you in advance for any advice!

There are several questions there. In general:

1. Since the hearing is due to his contempt, he can be ordered to pay your legal bills, but you have to ask for it and prove that he should. If you win the contempt hearing, then it's likelier that he will be ordered to pay. If he wins, it's possible that he could get an order for you to pay.

In general, each person pays his/her own legal expenses unless there's a good reason otherwise. That could be filing of frivolous suits or other inappropriate actions. It will also sometimes happen when one person has a very high income and the other doesn't.

2. You can not demand that he look for non-union (or any) work. However, the court can impute income to him based on what work is available. This is a little complicated and also very dependent on which judge you have, but the general principle is that you have to take suitable work if it is available. It has to be at least somewhat relevant to your career. For example, a court would not impute income based on an factory worker's salary for a neurosurgeon - partly because he wouldn't have the skills, but also because it would not be considered suitable work.

In this case, it would be very hard to argue that taking a non-union job would be unsuitable. The salary would be lower than what he's used to, but it would still be in the same ballpark. If there is plenty of non-union work in his field, I would think that getting an income imputed based on that non-union work would be quite possible. It would then be up to him as to whether he actually takes the job or just pays CS as if he had the job.

The issue for all of this is what you can prove. With the contempt hearing, imputing income, and so on, you need to have every bit of evidence you can find. Learn something about courtroom rules and procedures so you know what evidence can be admitted. You can not, for example, say "his mother told me that he wouldn't take a non-union job". You could bring in the Sunday news paper's job listing showing dozens of jobs in his field and the starting salary.

 

[Tinkster1020]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
In our decree, ex was ordered to pay 1/2 daycare, medical, school and extracurricular expenses. He was laid off in 2008, but made on average $1800 per month after cs and taxes (was union and got benefits there plus unemployment and lives for free with his parents). State's attorney is involved for cs - another long story - and knows how much he was making.
When he started dating current gf, decided he no longer wants to pay his 1/2 of anything. He claims he is unemployed, but was paying these fine prior. Further, my parents were watching the kids for free for a year (we were living there) but it just got too expensive for them, so asked us to pay $120 per week ($60 for each). Ex says he never signed a contract, so refuses to even consider payment, even though he knew about it from the get-go.
So, I have been filing motions pro se for almost a year, and heard that courts don't take you seriously w/o attorney. My judge just said keep a running total. At this point, he is $5000 behind (including monies to my parents that they kept a running total of), I can no longer keep running total, and I have had to hire attorney, to force him to pay. I am using whatever I have in savings on this and then some.
He hired attorney (think gf is paying) and now they have filed to have me pay his attorney fees! (As well as asking to no longer be responsible for med insurance, and abating all other court ordered shared payments) We are in court primarily because he is in contempt of court for over a year.
My question is, can they force me to pay? I work 2 jobs, and am just making ends meet, even after cs. I have been mostly supporting the kids (2 kids ages 10 and 6) on my own and am drowning in bills. Daycare alone is $500 per month!
Shouldn't he be ordered to pay mine because he is in contempt?
Also, the union is no longer providing benefits, jobs, insurance to him. Can I demand he start looking at non union or other fields? Would they order it? At this point, it is more like voluntary unemployment because he has refused to look at other things. (He submits "job diaries" which I have never been allowed to view and I know he has missed at least 1 short call in the union)
Thank you in advance for any advice!

This is totally my opinion only. For what its worth: I don't thnk judges take you any differently whether you are pro se or have an attorney,as long as your pleadings are proper you are good to go. WHy a year, have you aske for a hearing?
I would ask for income to be imputed (what he is capable of making). Doesn't mean you will get it.

I highly doubt he will get attorneys fees Afterall he is the one behind in CS. As far as contempt goes, is it wllful? Thats what they will be lookng at.

Best of luck