HerNameIsNicole
Member
California:
sorry in advance for the length =/
It's been two years since this event, and i feel traumatized by it, and for good reason.
I was hanging out with a girl I met on the internet (yeah yeah...i know...) and during our fourth visit together, we got physical. Clothes came off and we kissed and groped...basically everything but intercourse or oral sex. Anyway, after like 2 hours of this we stopped. She immediately began acting distant and ran outside to "smoke a cigarette". I followed her out shortly to find her on the phone in the BACK seat of her car, telling someone that I had basically tricked her into letting me put my penis in her. For some reason she was not trying to leave. She even left her purse in my house. She just went outside to make that phone call. I made my presence known and stated firmly that I never put anything in her but my fingers and that she needed to leave my house and never come back. She started out very apologetic and said there had been a misunderstanding, but when I called her crazy, her demeanor changed entirely. She did this "talk to the hand" type thing in my face, then stormed inside for her purse, stormed back out to her car without a word, and drove off.
10 minutes later, what seemed like at least ten officers were at my front door. I explained the situation to them as I just described it, allowed them to search my room and take what they needed, and volunteered to submit to whatever questioning and medical exams they needed as well. I basically said I would comply in any way possible. The police acted friendly and understanding and talked me out into the street from my house, then put cuffs on me as they continued telling me that I wasn't under arrest. Then they told me to sit in the police car while they made a couple calls or something, but that I still wasn't under arrest. I learned later that they brought the girl back from around the corner, and according to the police report they then shined the lights on me in the back of the patrol car and the now CRYING girl said that I was the one who had raped her. I also learned through the report that while the girl says I was screaming and cursing at her, a neighbor who witnessed the argument and who was interviewed BEFORE the arrest was made stated that what he saw was a "calm conversation", which is the truth of the matter. Despite the lack of evidence and conflicting witness statement, I was placed under arrest. Only time in my life I've been in jail. I was in jail for almost a week, because arraignment can take 72 hours, and the weekend didn't count. During that time I was placed on suicide watch for 24 hours and had to deal with being transferred to and from another jail 45 minutes away, TWICE, chained to what I can only imagine were actual rapists. In the end, the DA never filed the charges, so I was released. The police never did an investigation into my claims that the girl filed a false police report. The police themselves refused to even file a complaint that I was arrested without probable cause.
So what are some opinions on this situation? I'd really like to have some GOOD feedback that isn't just personal opinion about what the police should and shouldn't do. Was this overkill and bad policing, or are the police basically obligated to behave this way when it comes to rape?
On a side note, what I PERSONALLY learned from this situation other than don't hang out with weird girls from the internet......if you're in an argument with someone who potentially has that much power to ruin your life, don't call them crazy.
sorry in advance for the length =/
It's been two years since this event, and i feel traumatized by it, and for good reason.
I was hanging out with a girl I met on the internet (yeah yeah...i know...) and during our fourth visit together, we got physical. Clothes came off and we kissed and groped...basically everything but intercourse or oral sex. Anyway, after like 2 hours of this we stopped. She immediately began acting distant and ran outside to "smoke a cigarette". I followed her out shortly to find her on the phone in the BACK seat of her car, telling someone that I had basically tricked her into letting me put my penis in her. For some reason she was not trying to leave. She even left her purse in my house. She just went outside to make that phone call. I made my presence known and stated firmly that I never put anything in her but my fingers and that she needed to leave my house and never come back. She started out very apologetic and said there had been a misunderstanding, but when I called her crazy, her demeanor changed entirely. She did this "talk to the hand" type thing in my face, then stormed inside for her purse, stormed back out to her car without a word, and drove off.
10 minutes later, what seemed like at least ten officers were at my front door. I explained the situation to them as I just described it, allowed them to search my room and take what they needed, and volunteered to submit to whatever questioning and medical exams they needed as well. I basically said I would comply in any way possible. The police acted friendly and understanding and talked me out into the street from my house, then put cuffs on me as they continued telling me that I wasn't under arrest. Then they told me to sit in the police car while they made a couple calls or something, but that I still wasn't under arrest. I learned later that they brought the girl back from around the corner, and according to the police report they then shined the lights on me in the back of the patrol car and the now CRYING girl said that I was the one who had raped her. I also learned through the report that while the girl says I was screaming and cursing at her, a neighbor who witnessed the argument and who was interviewed BEFORE the arrest was made stated that what he saw was a "calm conversation", which is the truth of the matter. Despite the lack of evidence and conflicting witness statement, I was placed under arrest. Only time in my life I've been in jail. I was in jail for almost a week, because arraignment can take 72 hours, and the weekend didn't count. During that time I was placed on suicide watch for 24 hours and had to deal with being transferred to and from another jail 45 minutes away, TWICE, chained to what I can only imagine were actual rapists. In the end, the DA never filed the charges, so I was released. The police never did an investigation into my claims that the girl filed a false police report. The police themselves refused to even file a complaint that I was arrested without probable cause.
So what are some opinions on this situation? I'd really like to have some GOOD feedback that isn't just personal opinion about what the police should and shouldn't do. Was this overkill and bad policing, or are the police basically obligated to behave this way when it comes to rape?
On a side note, what I PERSONALLY learned from this situation other than don't hang out with weird girls from the internet......if you're in an argument with someone who potentially has that much power to ruin your life, don't call them crazy.