Question

[sellBy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
I am the primary parent of my 12 year old son however his father and I have joint custody of him and I receive court ordered child support. Recently (about 6 mos ago) my son was involved in a juvenile matter that I had to pay $1500 in lawyer fees (to represent him in this case) as well as I am the one thats been paying his monthly restitution (obviously, since he is 12 and does not work or has any other means of paying back $1125 in restitution in a year timeframe). My question is, can i sue my son's father in civil court for HALF of those fees that I have been solely taking care of (the total i will have paid out is $2600 once all is said and done)? His standard answer is "Oh well, use the child support you get every month" however i thought that something like this would be considered OVER and ABOVE any child support that I receive. It is quite difficult on me to come up with such amounts of money, i've borrowed money from my parents etc. but i find it absolutely absurd that it's all falling on me and that his father can sit back and do nothing in times like these.

Just wanted to know if i had a leg to stand on in this situation.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
I am the primary parent of my 12 year old son however his father and I have joint custody of him and I receive court ordered child support. Recently (about 6 mos ago) my son was involved in a juvenile matter that I had to pay $1500 in lawyer fees (to represent him in this case) as well as I am the one thats been paying his monthly restitution (obviously, since he is 12 and does not work or has any other means of paying back $1125 in restitution in a year timeframe). My question is, can i sue my son's father in civil court for HALF of those fees that I have been solely taking care of (the total i will have paid out is $2600 once all is said and done)? His standard answer is "Oh well, use the child support you get every month" however i thought that something like this would be considered OVER and ABOVE any child support that I receive. It is quite difficult on me to come up with such amounts of money, i've borrowed money from my parents etc. but i find it absolutely absurd that it's all falling on me and that his father can sit back and do nothing in times like these.

Just wanted to know if i had a leg to stand on in this situation.

Why should the child's father be responsible for this? If you have shelled out a few thousand dollars, then I suggest you put junior to work in order to pay you back.

He can do yard work, wash cars, walk dogs and a ton of others ways he can earn money.

 

[sellBy]

Why should the child's father be responsible for this? If you have shelled out a few thousand dollars, then I suggest you put junior to work in order to pay you back.

He can do yard work, wash cars, walk dogs and a ton of others ways he can earn money.

You ask why should the child's FATHER be responsible but why should I ? Your comment makes no sense .....and if you don't know for a fact if I have a leg to stand on, then don't answer. "Junior" does walk a dog actually, but at $5 a pop , he'll be walking dogs til he's 21 to pay me back . The point is I CANNOT KEEP SHELLING OUT ANY MORE MONEY while his FATHER sits back and does nothing to help out.

 

[Antigone*]

You ask why should the child's FATHER be responsible but why should I ? Your comment makes no sense .....and if you don't know for a fact if I have a leg to stand on, then don't answer. "Junior" does walk a dog actually, but at $5 a pop , he'll be walking dogs til he's 21 to pay me back . The point is I CANNOT KEEP SHELLING OUT ANY MORE MONEY while his FATHER sits back and does nothing to help out.

If his father pays his court-ordered support then he is doing all he legally needs to do to "help out."

If you cannot control your son and keep him out of trouble, then maybe you should consider other custody arrangements.

 

[sellBy]

If his father pays his court-ordered support then he is doing all he legally needs to do to "help out."

If you cannot control your son and keep him out of trouble, then maybe you should consider other custody arrangements.

I love people who sit back and make blanket judgment calls. I guess you live in that perfect world that I so often hear about. I am sure YOU are a man and like most men, think that all they are required to do is pay there monrhly support and then ANY and EVERY thing else is left on the mother. You are a very A-typical man. Thanks for all of the help in this, NOT.

 

[Antigone*]

I love people who sit back and make blanket judgment calls. I guess you live in that perfect world that I so often hear about. I am sure YOU are a man and like most men, think that all they are required to do is pay there monrhly support and then ANY and EVERY thing else is left on the mother. You are a very A-typical man. Thanks for all of the help in this, NOT.

I don't live in a perfect world, I am not a man and I a mother who supported her children with no support whatsoever from their absent father.

I gave you valid and accurate legal advice. Obviously you're a mother who would rather hold other people accountable for her inability to parent.

 

[latigo]

Didn’t your attorney explain to you the doctrine of “parental immunity” as it exists in the State of New Jersey?

You provide no information of the nature of the child’s conduct or whether under the circumstances it could have been prevented by proper parental supervision.

But under New Jersey’s doctrine of parental immunity neither parent should have been required to make restitution unless “failure to supervise was either wanton or willful”. *

And if the circumstances were such as to void the doctrine, then both parents in the exercise of joint custody should be equally responsible.

If I were you, I would pay a visit to the attorney and ask some pointed questions. Like how does he or she differentiate the application of the doctrine of parental immunity with respect to a civil judgement ordering compensation for the torts of a minor from a court’s order of restitution?

And I strongly disagree that the father’s payment of court ordered child support relieves him of all other parental responsibilities!


[*] See New Jersey cases of Buono et al. Vs. Scalia et al Superior Court of New Jersey, Appellate Division Case Number: A-2393-01T1; Foldi v. Jeffries, 93 N.J. 533

 

[Antigone*]

Didn’t your attorney explain to you the doctrine of “parental immunity” as it exists in the State of New Jersey?

You provide no information of the nature of the child’s conduct or whether under the circumstances it could have been prevented by proper parental supervision.

But under New Jersey’s doctrine of parental immunity neither parent should have been required to make restitution unless “failure to supervise was either wanton or willful”. *

And if the circumstances were such as to void the doctrine, then both parents in the exercise of joint custody should be equally responsible.

If I were you, I would pay a visit to the attorney and ask some pointed questions. Like how does he or she differentiate the application of the doctrine of parental immunity with respect to a civil judgement ordering compensation for the torts of a minor from a court’s order of restitution?

And I strongly disagree that the father’s payment of court ordered child support relieves him of all other parental responsibilities!


[*] See New Jersey cases of Buono et al. Vs. Scalia et al Superior Court of New Jersey, Appellate Division Case Number: A-2393-01T1; Foldi v. Jeffries, 93 N.J. 533

Unless otherwise ordered by a court of law, his child support is fulfillment of his financial responsbilities.

Again, if this mother is having so much trouble parenting her son then maybe she should re-think custody.

 

[latigo]

Unless otherwise ordered by a court of law, his child support is fulfillment of his financial responsbilities. (sic)

Again, if this mother is having so much trouble parenting her son then maybe she should re-think custody.

Then I suppose you would argue that if the mother’s income were higher relevant to the father’s and under the New Jersey Child Support Guidelines (Rule 5.6A) she had been ordered to pay the father child support -

Then the father he would be fully responsible to make restitution for the child’s tort.

And the mother could not be held accountable because in paying the support she was fulfilling her total financial responsibility for the child.

That would be as equally specious as is your current argument.

Moreover, we are not discussing financial responsibility between parents. We are talking about parental financial responsibility to third persons for the tortuous acts of their non-emancipated minor children!

And where in this thread do you find justification for the affront that this woman may not be fit to exercise joint custody of her minor child? Must she keep her twelve-year-old on a leash?