Im 17 shes 14____ PLEASE HELP!!

[Unsane]

Hi, i live in OREGON and im kind of in a dateing relationship, December 23rd she will turn 15 and January 12th ill turn 18...Will it be legal for us to date?
We are 2 years 11 months and 11 days apart, we are strong religous people and we will NOT have sex untill marrige... no accidents will happen.
Are we Aloud to date? Can we kiss? Hug? Cuddle? Hold hands? Please help me out, it would be really nice of you.
I really want the information to be clear on what we CAN do and CANNOT do. If you can provide mabye a website of oregon law talking about it that would be awsome but otherwise all info is helpfull and thank you Please state how you got your information... i want this to be 100% correct.
Thank you and God bless!

 

[CdwJava]

You can go to the movies, hold hands, and even kiss so long as you are not encouraging her to disobey her parents or commit some other potential crime.

And understand that fondling, groping, or other sexual acts can be illegal.

 

[Unsane]

So lets say her dad is agenst it, and we kiss? could i get in trouble?
There will never be fondling, groping, or other sexual acts, but what if her dad is agenst it period and we kiss, or date or whatever? i just dont want to do the wrong thing

 

[CdwJava]

So lets say her dad is agenst it, and we kiss? could i get in trouble?

If she is sneaking out of the house at your encouragement or assistance, perhaps.

There will never be fondling, groping, or other sexual acts, but what if her dad is agenst it period and we kiss, or date or whatever? i just dont want to do the wrong thing

If her father is against it, why would you wish to disrespect him by dating his daughter? Perhaps you should settle with seeing each other at school and proper social events rather than dating. There are a good many parents who prefer not to allow their minor children to date until 16 or until they approve. Perhaps you might consider respecting that and honoring her father.

 

[Unsane]

I would not disrespect her father, Her dad just doesnt know me yet and is bieng stereotypical about guys my age and their intentions with girls...My intentions i can asure you arent bad and never will be, He just needs to get to know me more, Thats it... But i wont disrespect him and do something like dating behind his back, i just wanted to know if it was legal... idk... Thank you sir, You helped me alot

I thought id throw in there that we have not started dateing yet but it has seriusly been talked about and we both really want to... Just wana be friends for awhile first, Im just trying to make sure i dont do the wrong thing before anything happens...ya know?

 

[CdwJava]

I would not disrespect her father, Her dad just doesnt know me yet and is bieng stereotypical about guys my age and their intentions with girls...My intentions i can asure you arent bad and never will be, He just needs to get to know me more, Thats it...

That is YOUR burden to bear, not his. You can certainly go to him and present yourself in such a way that might impress him. Dating her behind his back and against his wishes will NOT endear you to him and could cause all sorts of problems for you.

You DO understand that as her father he gets to say who she sees, where she goes, and whether or not she leaves the house at all, right? If he thinks the two of you are going against his wishes, he could simply keep her home.

As a father myself, I would have much more respect for a young man who shows up at my house and explains things. He sets ground rules, and as long as your word can be seen as good (and he has no philosophical problem with his 14 or 15 year old daughter dating) then he just might say yes. But, if you go out behind his back, you're not going to gain his favor.

 

[Unsane]

I tottally understand Thank you sir

 

[mistoffolees]

Let's deal with the legal issue first.

In Oregon, the age of consent is 18. That means that if you have sex with her when you're 18 and she's not, you would be guilty of a crime. Even if her parents don't object, you could get into a lot of trouble. For example, if she becomes pregnant, you're in BIG trouble.

And, yes, I'm sure you're nice people and super religious and would never have sex before marriage. All good kids respect that and NEVER have sex when caught up in the heat of the moment.

As for Dad, it's really the girl's issue. If she wants to spend time with you, she's going to need to convince her parents that it's a good thing. That probably involves them getting to know you. But, ultimately, it's up to Mom and Dad. (And don't be surprised if Dad simply thinks it's a bad idea regardless of how nice a person you are).

 

[Zigner]

You say this:

I would not disrespect her father

But then you say this:

Her dad just doesnt know me yet and is bieng stereotypical about guys my age and their intentions with girls..

To put it another way, you are saying that her dad is an ignorant fool...yet you respect him. Grow up and find someone your own age.

 

[justalayman]

Im dumb, shes 14____ PLEASE HELP!!

leave the child alone. There is no way a 14 and a 17 yo are on the same level and you shouldn't try to bring her to your level.

 

[cyjeff]

Okay... OP, time for a visit from Unca Jeffy...

Son, you are playing with fire here... from a number of directions... and I say this as the father of not one but TWO daughter.

You date my little girl (and she is a little girl) behind my back, and I will blow up so large and loud you will think that God Himself may have said something during my rant but you just couldn't hear it.

Then, I will do whatever it takes to keep you apart up to and including a protective order against you if you insist upon dating her when I said no.

A protective order does just that... it protects one party from another. If you violate it, you get to go to prison where the other inmates will find your after hours company stimulating.

Carl is correct. Be a man and talk to Dad. Yes, this may mean that you have dates only at the house on opposite sides of the room while handing Dad the gun oil. This may mean that Dad says no.... this may mean that Dad says yes, but makes you stand on one leg the whole time so that you can't move too fast.

Whatever those conditions are... you have two options. You adhere to them OR you stop dating his daughter.

That's it.

If you dated my daughter behind my back after I had specifically said not to, the best case scenario for you would be that the police got to you first.

If you are enough of a man to date his daughter, be enough of a man to talk to him about his child.