cohabitation and visitation

[amyjrn]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Arkansas

My boyfriend and I live together and plan to marry next year. He and the X have finally come to a visitation agreement and it has a clause about overnight guests. We have every reason to believe that she will "persue action" related to this. She will do anything to make this difficult. Our plan is to just go have a JP quicky wedding if she pushes the issue. However, can she refuse to allow the child to spend the night at our house? If she does spend the night here can he be found in contempt? Thanks

 

[Isis1]

Was this clause inputted after you and daddy started shacking up? Or before?

 

[sometwo]

He and the X have finally come to a visitation agreement and it has a clause about overnight guests

Why would he agree with it if he doesn't want it in there?

That kind of sounds strange.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Arkansas

My boyfriend and I live together and plan to marry next year. He and the X have finally come to a visitation agreement and it has a clause about overnight guests. We have every reason to believe that she will "persue action" related to this. She will do anything to make this difficult. Our plan is to just go have a JP quicky wedding if she pushes the issue. However, can she refuse to allow the child to spend the night at our house? If she does spend the night here can he be found in contempt? Thanks

What EXACTLY does the agreement say?

 

[amyjrn]

we were shacking up first....and it states "standard cohabitation laws apply" His lawyer told him this clause would be in the papers weather they settled or went in front of a judge and he was trying not to go to court and handle this like adults.

The lawyer made it sound like there was no way around that clause.

 

[Proserpina]

Oh for pete's sake, just go and get married.

Problem solved.

You intend to do it next year anyway, right? Just go get a quicky now and have the big shebang next year!

 

[amyjrn]

we really have no problem with just going and getting married. however, we both had some things we wanted to handle first like paying off personal debts and he will be done with school in may. it just puts a bad taste in my mouth to be "forced" to get married before we wanted to but we will both do whatever it takes to maintain the peace for the child's sake.

 

[Proserpina]

we really have no problem with just going and getting married. however, we both had some things we wanted to handle first like paying off personal debts and he will be done with school in may. it just puts a bad taste in my mouth to be "forced" to get married before we wanted to but we will both do whatever it takes to maintain the peace for the child's sake.

I can't actually find anything in the Arkansas code that even defines cohabitation for the purposes of visitation and custody.

But that aside - seeing as there IS such a clause in your fiance's order it seems that Mom could, if she wanted to be (in my opinion) really petty, make a fuss. I don't know what would happen. She could get laughed out of court, or Dad could actually be penalized. I have no idea.

Frankly I'm not even convinced it would be enforceable anyway seeing as it's so incredibly vague.

 

[gr8rn]

Your other option would be to move out till the wedding. Simple. No bad taste, no laws broken, no contempt. Apparently this is your only other option.

 

[Isis1]

we were shacking up first....and it states "standard cohabitation laws apply" His lawyer told him this clause would be in the papers weather they settled or went in front of a judge and he was trying not to go to court and handle this like adults.

The lawyer made it sound like there was no way around that clause.

Well, I have to say, doing this in court is always, the best option for both parties. However, if the clause reads as "no overnights guests" then it would mean GUESTS. not you. Since you are a resident.

 

[sometwo]

http://www.aclu.org/files/assets/Amicus_Brief_of_Arkansas_Law_School_Deans_and_Professors.pdf

Interesting read

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Arkansas

My boyfriend and I live together and plan to marry next year. He and the X have finally come to a visitation agreement and it has a clause about overnight guests. We have every reason to believe that she will "persue action" related to this. She will do anything to make this difficult. Our plan is to just go have a JP quicky wedding if she pushes the issue. However, can she refuse to allow the child to spend the night at our house? If she does spend the night here can he be found in contempt? Thanks

Others have provided some insight. My only thought is that he needs to resolve it BEFORE it becomes a final order.

In some cases, the court will not order something, but if the two parties submit it as a stipulated agreement and it becomes part of the decree, it becomes enforceable. For example, in states where CS ends at 18/19, most courts will not order CS for college age students. HOWEVER, if the two parents agree at the time of the divorce and put it into a stipulated agreement, it becomes enforceable. The same may be true of these no-paramour clauses, as well.

 

[CourtClerk]

we really have no problem with just going and getting married. however, we both had some things we wanted to handle first like paying off personal debts and he will be done with school in may. it just puts a bad taste in my mouth to be "forced" to get married before we wanted to but we will both do whatever it takes to maintain the peace for the child's sake.

No one is forcing you to get married. You have other options... like go live on your own.

 

[Ohiogal]

If your boyfriend in the midst of a divorce?

 

[nextwife]

I agree with the others, if there is a clause, move out, and move back after you get married. Problem solved.