Accussed of Child Abuse by School Counselor

[kilrb]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IOWA

Today I was accused of Child Abuse by the Public School Counselor where my kids attend.

The story is this.

I have a very emotional, immature 12 year old in the 7th grade who is also diagnosed with ADHD and is taking medication for it. She got into an argument over Skype using school computers with another girl in her class. The argument degraded to the point they were having a pity party over who's life was harder. My daughter should be famous for over reacting to any given situation and wouldn't be one upped and posted 2 separate triads stating how I have hung her over a wall by her hair, twisted her arm and beat her. As a final hurrah the other girl presented the conversation to the School Counselor.

The counselor called my wife and told her this, and then asked if she and my 2 daughters were ok to go home. (This was at 5:30. All 3 of them were already home. Yeah, he is a real hero!)

I have the entire skype conversation saved on my daughters laptop and an idiot could tell what transpired between these 2 girls was 2 mini-drama queens having it out over an interface they took things to another level where they felt they had no responsibilities to control themselves as if they were face to face.

I am a respected community member.
I have been voted on to the School Board for (edit: 4 terms, not 4 years).
I have a job that I am well respected.
I have asked the school and the counselor for help with my daughter and her situation (concerning the ADHD)
And most important I have never in any way abused my kids.

I have never been more offended in my life.

I plan to go to the principal and couselor tomorrow before school and tell how out of line they are and how they have failed my daughter.

I wondering if I should seek legal counsel in this matter before i make any statements or accusations? After I speak to them i intend on calling the Superintendent to propose an immediate review of the counselor and his competency.

Obviously I am emotionally distressed over this event.

Any advise? Should i seek legal counsel first?

This strikes at the closets places of my heart. I know it would serve me poorly to hit this man in the face. But that is what I want to do.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IOWA

Today I was accused of Child Abuse by the Public School Counselor where my kids attend.

The story is this.

I have a very emotional, immature 12 year old in the 7th grade who is also diagnosed with ADHD and is taking medication for it. She got into an argument over Skype using school computers with another girl in her class. The argument degraded to the point they were having a pity party over who's life was harder. My daughter should be famous for over reacting to any given situation and wouldn't be one upped and posted 2 separate triads stating how I have hung her over a wall by her hair, twisted her arm and beat her. As a final hurrah the other girl presented the conversation to the School Counselor.

The counselor called my wife and told her this, and then asked if she and my 2 daughters were ok to go home. (This was at 5:30. All 3 of them were already home. Yeah, he is a real hero!)

I have the entire skype conversation saved on my daughters laptop and an idiot could tell what transpired between these 2 girls was 2 mini-drama queens having it out over an interface they took things to another level where they felt they had no responsibilities to control themselves as if they were face to face.

I am a respected community member.
I have been voted on to the School Board for (edit: 4 terms, not 4 years).
I have a job that I am well respected.
I have asked the school and the counselor for help with my daughter and her situation (concerning the ADHD)
And most important I have never in any way abused my kids.

I have never been more offended in my life.

I plan to go to the principal and couselor tomorrow before school and tell how out of line they are and how they have failed my daughter.

I wondering if I should seek legal counsel in this matter before i make any statements or accusations? After I speak to them i intend on calling the Superintendent to propose an immediate review of the counselor and his competency.

Obviously I am emotionally distressed over this event.

Any advise? Should i seek legal counsel first?

This strikes at the closets places of my heart. I know it would serve me poorly to hit this man in the face. But that is what I want to do.

I would strongly recommend that you seek legal counsel before doing anything at all. Why? Because you are a member of the school board and going to the principal or superintendent could be viewed as you trying to use your position for personal gain. That you are above the law because of your position.

I am not accusing you of doing that at all, but that is how it could be viewed by others. Therefore you need to proceed more cautiously than other parents.

 

[kilrb]

Thank you for the advice

 

[Perky]

I think you're overreacting. According to your post, he inquired about your daughter's claims. Unless he did or said more than what you've posted, he didn't accuse you of anything.

He is required to report any suspicions of abuse, no matter who is involved. Instead of reporting it, as he is required to do if he suspects there may be abuse, he called your wife. Frankly, IMO, you should be happy with the outcome.

 

[cyjeff]

I agree with the above post.

A counselor is a mandatory reporter. He/She does not get to make a judgement call when such evidence as this is placed before him.

Just because it is YOUR daughter that caused all this doesn't mean that HIS job should be in jeopardy for doing EXACTLY what the law requires him to do.

Given your position and your supposed knowledge of how the system works, I am, honestly, surprised by your response.

I know you are embarrassed. I know you are upset. However, it wasn't the counselor's fault you are embarrassed and upset.

The simple fact that you want to strike out physically to a school employee that is responding exactly properly under the guidelines that YOU IMPOSED makes me wonder two things:

One, that there must be more truth to this than you are letting on... and you are concerned what an investigation will reveal; and,

Two, that you should immediately resign your position of school leadership. Apparently, you are under the belief that the rules shouldn't apply to you just because of who you are.

And before you get all hinky about how offended you are, realize that not only is my wife a school teacher but my mother in law has been a teacher, a principal AND a statewide superintendent of schools. I fully appreciate the way the system works.... and you shouldn't be in it.

 

[stealth2]

I have to agree with the previous posters, OP. It actually seems as though you were getting special consideration due to your position on the Board. Which, as a taxpayer, I would be pretty annoyed about if you were in my town.

So you should count your blessings rather than threatening someone who was trying to do his job AND preserve your sainted name.

 

[cyjeff]

Let's turn this around.

OP, how do you feel about a school counselor that is making judgement calls as to who is and is not REALLY being abused in the face of compelling evidence?

 

[stealth2]

This strikes at the closets places of my heart.

Typo? Or Freudian slip?

 

[Isis1]

Your daughter is having issues and the first thing you want to do is attack the reporter.

The person in trouble should be your daughter!

After it being pointed out, what a lazy mandated reporter!

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree with the above post.

A counselor is a mandatory reporter. He/She does not get to make a judgement call when such evidence as this is placed before him.

Just because it is YOUR daughter that caused all this doesn't mean that HIS job should be in jeopardy for doing EXACTLY what the law requires him to do.

Given your position and your supposed knowledge of how the system works, I am, honestly, surprised by your response.

I know you are embarrassed. I know you are upset. However, it wasn't the counselor's fault you are embarrassed and upset.

The simple fact that you want to strike out physically to a school employee that is responding exactly properly under the guidelines that YOU IMPOSED makes me wonder two things:

One, that there must be more truth to this than you are letting on... and you are concerned what an investigation will reveal; and,

Two, that you should immediately resign your position of school leadership. Apparently, you are under the belief that the rules shouldn't apply to you just because of who you are.

And before you get all hinky about how offended you are, realize that not only is my wife a school teacher but my mother in law has been a teacher, a principal AND a statewide superintendent of schools. I fully appreciate the way the system works.... and you shouldn't be in it.

Actually the counselor did NOT respond appropriately and properly and should lose his job. Why? Because he did NOT contact Children's Protective Services/CSB or what with the allegations of abuse so that they could do an investigation. INSTEAD, this counselor called the wife. Wrong move. And quite frankly NOT the legally mandated one. So in actuality the counselor did something that PROTECTS the OP rather than the child.

 

[mistoffolees]

Actually the counselor did NOT respond appropriately and properly and should lose his job. Why? Because he did NOT contact Children's Protective Services/CSB or what with the allegations of abuse so that they could do an investigation. INSTEAD, this counselor called the wife. Wrong move. And quite frankly NOT the legally mandated one. So in actuality the counselor did something that PROTECTS the OP rather than the child.

I think that point was made above. The counselor appears to be protecting OP because of his position on the school board.

I agree- the counselor should lose his/her job. OP should also step down from the school board if he's not willing to encourage and support the rules that are there to protect all the kids.

 

[cyjeff]

Actually the counselor did NOT respond appropriately and properly and should lose his job. Why? Because he did NOT contact Children's Protective Services/CSB or what with the allegations of abuse so that they could do an investigation. INSTEAD, this counselor called the wife. Wrong move. And quite frankly NOT the legally mandated one. So in actuality the counselor did something that PROTECTS the OP rather than the child.

For some reason, I read that he also contacted CPS...

Now, I am HUGELY surprised that that OP wants to hit someone in the nose because he told only HIS WIFE.

Yup, smells more and more like the smoke has a fire underneath it.

Anyone got the number for Iowa CPS handy?

 

[Isis1]

For some reason, I read that he also contacted CPS...

Now, I am HUGELY surprised that that OP wants to hit someone in the nose because he told only HIS WIFE.

Yup, smells more and more like the smoke has a fire underneath it.

Anyone got the number for Iowa CPS handy?

Iowa Department of Human Services

CALL the Child Abuse Hotline at at 1-800-362-2178 (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week).

Please be ready to provide identifying information and the whereabouts of the child. You may remain anonymous.

 

[Hot Topic]

The one thing that hits me is how much the OP dislikes her own daughter.

 

[Proserpina]

OP's daughter made accusation against OP.

Counselor did NOT call appropriate authorities, but instead contacted OP's spouse.

Now OP is pissed at counselor?

I'd be pissed too. I'd be pissed the counselor didn't actually do the RIGHT thing and contact the authorities.

Yes, even if I was the one being accused.

I suppose I'm not understanding OP's logic here at all.

Oh, and OP? Get your child into counseling if she's not already.