Foreign Marriage Question

[OsoGrande]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

In September of 2009 I married a dominican woman in the Dominican Republic. We had been in a relationship for a year and a half prior to being married. I travelled there every other month for the last four years, up until August of this year.

Shortly after marrying her, her behavior changed and she began acting bizarre (sudden, constant temper tantrums, depression, etc.). I tried my best to find out what was wrong but to no avail. During my August trip I realized she is a hopeless whack job, and I returned to the U.S. with the intention of washing my hands of her and never seeing her again.

She sends me e-mails now threatening to go to the American Embassy in Santo Domingo and tell them that I "abandoned" her. She seems to think I can get in trouble for dropping her like a hot potatoe and not coming back despite the fact we're married. We didn't have children or property together, or anything. She has two small children from a previous marriage. I did not adopt them, nor did I begin an immigration petition for her or them.


Am I correct in believing that I have the right to up and never have anything to do with her again? Can I get in any kind of trouble here in the United States for not going back ever to be with her?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

In September of 2009 I married a dominican woman in the Dominican Republic. We had been in a relationship for a year and a half prior to being married. I travelled there every other month for the last four years, up until August of this year.

Shortly after marrying her, her behavior changed and she began acting bizarre (sudden, constant temper tantrums, depression, etc.). I tried my best to find out what was wrong but to no avail. During my August trip I realized she is a hopeless whack job, and I returned to the U.S. with the intention of washing my hands of her and never seeing her again.

She sends me e-mails now threatening to go to the American Embassy in Santo Domingo and tell them that I "abandoned" her. She seems to think I can get in trouble for dropping her like a hot potatoe and not coming back despite the fact we're married. We didn't have children or property together, or anything. She has two small children from a previous marriage. I did not adopt them, nor did I begin an immigration petition for her or them.


Am I correct in believing that I have the right to up and never have anything to do with her again? Can I get in any kind of trouble here in the United States for not going back ever to be with her?

US law would not apply here. Dominican Republic law would apply. Whether or not something there could haunt you here is hard to say.

You probably should get a divorce ASAP. You can file that in your home state.

 

[OsoGrande]

US law would not apply here. Dominican Republic law would apply. Whether or not something there could haunt you here is hard to say.

You probably should get a divorce ASAP. You can file that in your home state.

If there could be anything that might haunt me, as you say, what could it possibly be?

As far as her getting part of my pension or inheritances the way an american wife could do if I left her but didn't get divorced, she'd have to come to America, and she can't do that without an American citizen petitioning for her. She'd have to remarry one to do that, and to remarry, she'd have to first get a divorce over there, thus cutting off any ties with me.

At least, that's how it looks from my perspective. If someone sees it differently, any feedback would be appreciated.

I do plan to get a divorce, but I just wanted to find out what could happen in the meantime.

 

[LdiJ]

If there could be anything that might haunt me, as you say, what could it possibly be?

As far as her getting part of my pension or inheritances the way an american wife could do if I left her but didn't get divorced, she'd have to come to America, and she can't do that without an American citizen petitioning for her. She'd have to remarry one to do that, and to remarry, she'd have to first get a divorce over there, thus cutting off any ties with me.

At least, that's how it looks from my perspective. If someone sees it differently, any feedback would be appreciated.

I do plan to get a divorce, but I just wanted to find out what could happen in the meantime.

If she gets a divorce in the Dominican Republic, the US courts may honor certain provisions of that divorce if there are any treaties. So, if the courts in the Dominican Republic were to say, order that you pay alimony, the US courts might back them up on that.

That's why its best to get a divorce ASAP. She also doesn't have to marry someone to come to the US for court...so don't be so certain that she will end up with nothing. The US courts will treat her equally to any US citizen wife if she comes to court or is represented by an attorney.

However, she won't end up with much, relatively speaking, because your marriage is barely a year old.

 

[ecmst12]

The longer you stay married, the more you could potentially owe her.

 

[OsoGrande]

If she gets a divorce in the Dominican Republic, the US courts may honor certain provisions of that divorce if there are any treaties. So, if the courts in the Dominican Republic were to say, order that you pay alimony, the US courts might back them up on that.

That's why its best to get a divorce ASAP. She also doesn't have to marry someone to come to the US for court...so don't be so certain that she will end up with nothing. The US courts will treat her equally to any US citizen wife if she comes to court or is represented by an attorney.

However, she won't end up with much, relatively speaking, because your marriage is barely a year old.

They could award her alimony even if I never supported her financially or in any other way?

I know that if a foreign spouse comes to America their visa is conditional for 2 years, and if they act crazy or become unfaithful the American spouse can cease the petition and separate from them, and the foreign spouse get's deported eventually. This is to protect the American spouse from people trying to use them.
You'd think that in a case like mine the protections would be even more solid, since she never came here. You'd think they'd just ignore her, with the exception of a child being involved, which in this case there's not. If we had had a child and she was trying to get child support, that'd be different, but that's not an issue here.

 

[Proserpina]

They could award her alimony even if I never supported her financially or in any other way?

I know that if a foreign spouse comes to America their visa is conditional for 2 years, and if they act crazy or become unfaithful the American spouse can cease the petition and separate from them, and the foreign spouse get's deported eventually. This is to protect the American spouse from people trying to use them.

I'd like to clarify that.

First, the visa is only conditional if the marriage is less than two years old; a foreign spouse who has been married for 10 years but living outside of the country with the US citizen spouse would NOT be bound by same conditions (for example).

Second, being unfaithful or having mental problems are not reasons, by themselves, for deportation. Even if the marriage fails within the conditional period, the foreign spouse may still be able to adjust status and remain in the US if they meet certain conditions.

Deportation is not as common as you might think and is certainly not a guarantee when a US/foreign marriage falls apart even if it happens before the 2-year conditional period is up.

Withdrawing sponsorship (which would essentially be the procedure) is not as easy or as cut and dried as some might think.

 

[ecmst12]

They COULD, particularly if you are not there to object.

As long as you are married, your income is marital property. So are any assets you acquire, the equity gained in your home, your savings and 401k, all of it. That means she could get half.

Getting divorced should be your first priority.

 

[OsoGrande]

They COULD, particularly if you are not there to object.

Getting divorced should be your first priority.

I agree, I'm just curious as to how that's going to work, a divorce against someone in a distant foreign country who is not eligible to enter the U.S.

Sounds complicated. Is it?

 

[mistoffolees]

I agree, I'm just curious as to how that's going to work, a divorce against someone in a distant foreign country who is not eligible to enter the U.S.

Sounds complicated. Is it?

Doesn't have to be. On the positive side, she's probably not going to be fighting very hard, so it should go reasonably quickly once it gets started.

The hard part will be serving her. If you're using an attorney (which I'd recommend) they can help. If not, you could ask your court clerk how you would serve someone overseas.

 

[OsoGrande]

Doesn't have to be. On the positive side, she's probably not going to be fighting very hard, so it should go reasonably quickly once it gets started.

The hard part will be serving her. If you're using an attorney (which I'd recommend) they can help. If not, you could ask your court clerk how you would serve someone overseas.

I don't even know where she lives. She left the apartment she was at and says she's staying with friends.
In this case, how would they handle it? Serve the last known address and if no response after the alloted time, do a default?