do courts consider this for custody ?

[michael_s_cott]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? texas

Ok so my wife and I's court battle will probably come down to the smallest thing. My question is about what the court likes to see as far as living conditions for children.

My wife and I currently live at our apartment, we are waiting to get the temporary orders next week to see what we are going to do about moving.

I come to find out yesterday that my wife has gone and put a deposit down on another apartment about 5 miles from where we are now. I originally said that she can have our current apartment so our daughter (2 years old) can have more room to play.

Do courts take into consideration the accommodations a parent gives the child when deciding who to give physical custody to ?

The apartment that we are in now with our child is a 3 story, 1500 sq foot town home. Our child has her own room and her own play area.

The apartment that my wife put her deposit down on is a 620 sq foot studio loft. For those of you who dont know what that is, its a one room apartment. There is no bedroom, the only door in the place is a bathroom door. There is no room for anything in there much less a bed for my wife AND a crib, much less any of the 100000000 toys that my daughter has.

I want a my child to have her own room so she doesnt think she is in a hotel.

your thoughts ?

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? texas

Ok so my wife and I's court battle will probably come down to the smallest thing. My question is about what the court likes to see as far as living conditions for children.

My wife and I currently live at our apartment, we are waiting to get the temporary orders next week to see what we are going to do about moving.

I come to find out yesterday that my wife has gone and put a deposit down on another apartment about 5 miles from where we are now. I originally said that she can have our current apartment so our daughter (2 years old) can have more room to play.

Do courts take into consideration the accommodations a parent gives the child when deciding who to give physical custody to ?

The apartment that we are in now with our child is a 3 story, 1500 sq foot town home. Our child has her own room and her own play area.

The apartment that my wife put her deposit down on is a 620 sq foot studio loft. For those of you who dont know what that is, its a one room apartment. There is no bedroom, the only door in the place is a bathroom door. There is no room for anything in there much less a bed for my wife AND a crib, much less any of the 100000000 toys that my daughter has.

I want a my child to have her own room so she doesnt think she is in a hotel.

your thoughts ?

Is this the what you are hanging your custody hopes on? (Hint: Gosh, I hope not!)

Who has been the child's primary caretaker?

Maybe mom put a deposit on a place she felt she could afford after the split? Were you planning on paying for the apartment that you wanted mom and child to remain in, in addition to child support?

I can't really see a court demanding a child of 2 have her own room. (otherwise--BEWARE: all moms who still live with their parents!!)

 

[mistoffolees]

The apartment that my wife put her deposit down on is a 620 sq foot studio loft. For those of you who dont know what that is, its a one room apartment. There is no bedroom, the only door in the place is a bathroom door. There is no room for anything in there much less a bed for my wife AND a crib, much less any of the 100000000 toys that my daughter has.

I want a my child to have her own room so she doesnt think she is in a hotel.

your thoughts ?

You're being unreasonable. There's nothing wrong with a mother and a 2 year old staying in a studio apartment.

BTW, since you're so keen on bragging about how much nicer of a place you can afford and all the toys you can buy for the child, I hope you're not going to object when child support is ordered.

 

[michael_s_cott]

blah

you guys are harsh. lol

you misstook my question as me being an *******.

Is this the what you are hanging your custody hopes on? (Hint: Gosh, I hope not!)

of course not, it was just a general question. as to if the court considers that when making a decision .

As far as the "who has the primary care giver been" that will be a close call. So i have included the following chart.

Maybe mom put a deposit on a place she felt she could afford after the split

?
um no, this place she put a deposit down on is a snobish apartment complex that is NOT cheap. She has always wanted to live there and I would not move us there. Sorry, I dont feel like paying $1100 for 700 sq feet. ITs the kind of place where apartment are above bars and restaurants. It is a pretty cool place, just over priced. You could get a nice 2 bedroom for the same price or cheaper down the road.

Mom is a great mom. She will do great at being a single mommy, as will I (single dad). Like I said my question was just general. I m just nervous about the court date and just asking general questions. I understand that no one can predict the outcome.

oh ya and, I have no problem on child support, we already agreed on instead of child support we will start a trust/college fund.


Task Mother Father Shared
Feeding infant ______ ______ ___x___
Feeding younger children ______ ______ ___x___
Changing diapers ______ ______ ___x___
Holding/cuddling ______ ______ ___x___
Preparing meals ______ ______ ___x___
Packing lunches ______ ______ ___x___
Grocery shopping ______ ______ ___x___
Changing diapers ______ ______ ___x___
Dressing ______ ______ ___x___
Doing laundry ______ ______ ___x___
Buying clothing ______ ______ ___x___
Maintaining clothing ______ ______ ___x___
Bathing ______ ______ ___x___
Washing hair ______ ______ ___x___
Styling hair ___x___ ______ ______
Brushing teeth (help with or enforce) ______ ______ ___x___
Putting to bed ______ ___x___ ______
Reading stories, books ______ ______ ___x___
Helping with homework __na____ ___na___ ____na__
Taking to/picking up from school ______ ___x___ ______
Taking to/picking up from extracurricular activities ______ ___x___ ______
Conferencing with teachers ______ ______ ___x___
Attending school open houses ______ ______ ___x___
School volunteering ______ ___x___ ______
Choosing schools ______ ______ ___x___
Helping choose classes ___na___ ___na___ ___na___
Attending PTA/PTO meetings ______ ______ ___x___
Taking to/picking up from religious services ______ ______ ___x___
Taking to/picking up from religious classes ______ ______ ___x___
Taking to/picking up from sports activities ______ ___x___ ______
Coaching sports teams ____na__ ___na___ ___na___
Taking to/picking up from lessons ___na___ ___na___ ____na__
Taking to/picking up from play dates ______ ___x___ ______
Arranging play dates ______ ___x___ ______
Hosting play dates ______ ______ ___x___
Taking to/picking up from birthday parties ______ ______ ___x___
Hosting birthday parties ______ ______ ___x___
Shopping for gifts for friends ______ ______ ___x___
Shopping for gifts for child ______ ______ ___x___
Shopping for school supplies ______ ______ ___x___
Shopping for toiletries ______ ______ ___x___
Taking to doctor ___10%___ ___90%___ ______
Taking to dentist ______ ___x___ ______
Taking to orthodontist ___na___ ___na___ ___na___
Making doctor/dentist appointments ___25%___ ___75%___ ______
Taking care of sick child ______ ______ ___x___
Hiring babysitters ___na___ ___na___ ___na___
Picking up/dropping off babysitter __na____ ___na___ ___na___
Arranging daycare ______ ___x___ ______
Taking to/picking up from daycare ______ ___x___ ______
Planning holidays ______ ___x___ ______
Planning vacations ______ ______ ___x___
Teaching values ______ ______ ___x___
Teaching manners ______ ______ ___x___
Monitoring chores ______ ______ ___x___
Teaching sex education ___na___ ___na___ ___na___
Taking to park ______ ______ ___x___
Playing with indoors ______ ______ ___x___
Playing with outdoors ______ ______ ___x___
Cleaning home ______ ______ ___x___

 

[WittyUserName]

Whoops I gave the wrong link. Deleted. Apologies, OP.

 

[stealth2]

Wow - your 2yo has 100 million toys? Get her a pony next.

 

[CSO286]

Are you working full time? Is mom?

No offense, but I'm going to disregard your chart...it's a pretty even split.

Is there any actual reason why one part or the other should NOT have custody?

 

[michael_s_cott]

reply

Yes we are pretty evenly split thats the issue. Which is why I asked my question about housing for the child.

and its actually 100000000 toys. I was just exaggerating. Was not bragging.

Is there any actual reason why one part or the other should NOT have custody?

actually no there really is not i dont think. Besides the fact that I think I could give the child a better day to day normal no stressful life.

Mom does not work, she might go to school in june. She does not know yet. She expects her parents to give her money.

When mom has her schizoid episodes she sorta alienates herself form the world and does not pay to much attention to the child. (she is diagnoses as a schizophrenic/bi-polor/manic depressant) and she refuses to tkae her meds because they "make her fat" .

Are you working full time? Is mom? YEs i work from 8 - 5 mom is in school part time. Child is in day care mon - friday 8 - 5. i take child to daycare and pick them up.

I think you guys are looking as if i want to bash mom .. thats not the case she is doing what she wants to do and thats ok with me . i was just curious about the housing situation.

To me, best intrest of the child is not living above a bar or pub. but thats just me.

we are both great parents. I just have way more stability in life. thats all. I want 50/50 mom wants me to have minimum, since she is mad at me. I think the last conversation i had with her went like this "your a *******, you will never see your daughter ... how will it feel when another guy calls your daughter daddy" ....

 

[stealth2]

Realistically speaking, her housing situation - unless it includes living with junkies, pedophiles and the like - is not going to hugely affect the custody determination.

 

[michael_s_cott]

kool

Realistically speaking, her housing situation - unless it includes living with junkies, pedophiles and the like - is not going to hugely affect the custody determination.

ok thank you .. lol .. thats all i was looking for

 

[stealth2]

ok thank you .. lol .. thats all i was looking for

Why do I get the feeling that YOU are the one renting the wee apartment?

 

[michael_s_cott]

lol

lol no ... I am not the one.

 

[CSO286]

Is there any actual reason why one part or the other should NOT have custody?

actually no there really is not i dont think. Besides the fact that I think I could give the child a better day to day normal no stressful life.

Mom does not work, she might go to school in june. She does not know yet. She expects her parents to give her money.

When mom has her schizoid episodes she sorta alienates herself form the world and does not pay to much attention to the child. (she is diagnoses as a schizophrenic/bi-polor/manic depressant) and she refuses to tkae her meds because they "make her fat" .

....

I like how you say that one parent is no better than the other and in the next paragraph, tell us how mom is non-medicating schizophrenic who alienates herself from her child.


(if that's mom's dirty laundry and you're no better than her---what's yours?)

Sigh....

 

[Halls]

Sadly, a lot of parents tell the other one during divorce/custody battle that they will never see their child or how will they feel when child calls someone else mom or dad. Chances are these words were said out of anger and hurt. I think I told my sons father something like this 13 years ago. It didn't make one difference in the end. My sons father has regular visitation and dad to our son. So my advice, document things like that but don't take it so seriously. Once a court order is in place she can't keep you from seeing your child. And don't worry if a man comes along and plays the dad role in your soon to be ex wides home. It's just part of it. It happens. But your child will know who dad is.

 

[ecmst12]

Custody IS not and SHOULD not be determined by who has a bigger house, more money, more toys, or any of that completely unimportant crap.

And QUIT STARTING NEW THREADS. You can keep all your questions together. It makes things a lot easier on responders.