new boyfriend of non-custodial mom has a substance abuse problem

[microbes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

NCP is under supervised visitations and have already been found in contempt for violating the order. Now when I drop off my kids, she fronts a neighbor who is the mother of the guy she's seeing who lives in the same building. The guy has a substance abuse problem. I know this because I saw his facebook photos where he was smoking weed and he comments about it what he was doing. I know I know... classy guy.

Now this came about my concern about my son getting sick all the time even with just the 8 hours they spend with their mom every other week, he would come home coughing with his asthma being aggravated. Now it would take me a day or so to get him back to normal. The asthma I'm suspecting is due to whatever allergy he's getting at his mom's apartment. Smoke is number one and marijuana is even worse.

Now the bigger concern is that during her supervised visitations, she fronts the guy's mom during drop off and pick up then leaves. My kids come home talking about this guy. So my kids are left with their mother that is on supervised visits due to mental issues and is left with this guy supervising them who has a substance abuse problem.

I'm not gonna play hollier than though, I did experiment for all of 3 months 8 years ago and have been clean since. I don't drink and don't smoke. If I drink a 6 pack in a year, thats a lot for me.

By the way the photos I took screenshots of and took photographs of with a current newspaper to authenticate the date.

Honestly I'm not sure how to handle this. any suggestions would be appreciated. I understand this is not a violation of the order being that it only requires an individual 21 and older must be present but I'm concerned about the well being of the kids while they are there. Oh and I know the other part that you are thinking, there might be some truth to it but bottomline is I'm concerned for the kids' safety.

Please advise.

 

[Isis1]

Have you ran a criminal check on the boyfriend?

 

[microbes]

Have you ran a criminal check on the boyfriend?

Nope. Very common name and thats all I have.

 

[mistoffolees]

A facebook page isn't sufficient evidence to PROVE anything. However it might (combined with your child's asthma attacks after visiting NCP) be sufficient for a judge to order a change in the supervision aspect of the decree.

A couple of thoughts (others will undoubtedly comment on whether these are good or bad ideas):

- A Private investigator could get some background on the guy

- If the child is coughing badly when you pick him up, take him to urgent care or to his own doctor right afterwards for evaluation. The doctor will undoubtedly ask the history - be sure to tell only what you KNOW.

- Consider going back to court for a change in supervision - require it to be at a supervision center or someone approved by the court. You might want to do one of the above first.

- Have you talked with Mom? Does she know how much the child's asthma is being affected when he visits?

 

[stealth2]

Do you KNOW that the b/f smokes around your child?

 

[microbes]

Do you KNOW that the b/f smokes around your child?

No I dont know that he does and I obviously have no proof. concern is they are being supervised by someone dumb and irresponsible enough to post his pictures smoking weed on a public forum. That says class and sophistacation all over it. The x is completely bipolar that refuses to get treatment, hence the need for supervision. I know there's probably nothing I can do about it but i dunno if its even a good idea to bring up in court to show her pattern of irresponsibility.

 

[microbes]

A facebook page isn't sufficient evidence to PROVE anything. However it might (combined with your child's asthma attacks after visiting NCP) be sufficient for a judge to order a change in the supervision aspect of the decree.

A couple of thoughts (others will undoubtedly comment on whether these are good or bad ideas):

- A Private investigator could get some background on the guy

- If the child is coughing badly when you pick him up, take him to urgent care or to his own doctor right afterwards for evaluation. The doctor will undoubtedly ask the history - be sure to tell only what you KNOW.

- Consider going back to court for a change in supervision - require it to be at a supervision center or someone approved by the court. You might want to do one of the above first.

- Have you talked with Mom? Does she know how much the child's asthma is being affected when he visits?

Yes she knows. I have asked her multiple times to have her appartment checked for mold and she obviously refuses claiming her house is always clean. She lives in a very old building. When we had joint custody, the kid always got sick in her care that called for emergencies. When i got temp custody, everything went away with the exception of the seasonal allergies aggravating asthma and eczema but I have a control plan and almost always diffuse episodes in a day or so.