#1 08-21-2009, 04:59 PM
mitchum22
Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New York City
Posts: 3
Hello from New York
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New York is my home.
Newbie here, and I'm thrilled to have found these forums. (And I apologize up front for making my first post such a long one, but the situation with my daughter is rather complicated. And I will try to keep the obvious animosity to a minimum.)
My daughter Saya was born in December 2004, about 18 months after her mom and I were married. (My wife's name is Satomi.) Saya-chan was born in Kumamoto, Japan -- and is a citizen of both the US and Japan. During her first year of life, because of green card and post-partum issues, she lived in Japan and I would go back and forth to see her every couple of months. In late 2005, all things were resolved regarding my wife's health and travel/work status.
Beginning in early 2006, I began to wait, and wait, and wait. Saya's mom had no reasons at all to remain in Japan(no job, living with her parents) and a new, bigger apartment was gotten by me here in NYC for my new baby and her mom. But nothing happened. Satomi(my wife) kept postponing their arrival month after month. (I continued to travel to Japan, but not as often due to a more restrictive job.) Satomi finally did come back to NYC(WITHOUT Saya) in late June of 2006, because if she had not, her temporary green card would expire. (She literally arrived at JFK Airport 2 days before deadline.)
But no Saya. Satomi went back to Japan after getting her customs stamp, supposedly to retrieve our daughter. But July become September, and then in October, Saya's mother disappeared with Saya.
No calls were answered. No emails. I tried to get in touch with my wife's parents, who do not speak English. I finally had a Japanese friend call them. They refused to talk about Saya or Satomi. By December 2006 -- Saya's 2nd birthday -- it was obvious that something terrible had happened. I had no idea where my wife or my daughter were living. (Or if they were alive.) Of course, I wanted to just get on an airplane and fly to Kumamoto. But what started happening is that my wife's parents even refused to speak to anyone concerning me. They now would just hang up. So to fly 8,000 only to find a door slammed in my face seemed -- at that point -- pointless.
I filed a child kidnapping report with the NYPD. They bumped it up first to the FBI, and then Homeland Security and the US Embassy in Tokyo got involved. But what finally located my daughter was the hiring of a Japanese PI -- a wonderful woman who specializes in Japanese moms just disappearing with their children(an affliction which seems pretty common in Japan).
It turns out that Satomi in October of 2006 just decided on her own to begin a new life. She moved to Tokyo, got a job with Merrill Lynch, and started an affair with some married IT guy from ML. And at last, in the early summer of 2007, Saya's mom got in touch with me.
I say Satomi decided to start a new life. Not a new life with our daughter, for Saya was just dumped on her grandparents back in Kumamoto(a wonderful, southern city in Japan). Satomi did not even see her daughter for SIX MONTHS after moving to Tokyo. VOLUNTARILY. She just didn't want the responsibility, I guess.
Fast forward. For the past two years, I have done everything I can to get my daughter within reach. Japanese law regarding child custody is extremely racist. Fathers of non-Japanese blood have ZERO custody rights in Japan. So I was not allowed to visit my daughter or even talk to her for 2007 & 2008. Meanwhile -- and this is very important -- my daughter Saya had no parents. I was unilaterally banned from her life(without any legal action taken by anyone in Japan), and Satomi did nothing as a mother. Didn't live with her, didn't feed her, sleep with her, teach her, play with her. Nothing.
During this time, I had a choice. Clearly, because of the laws of Japan and Saya's mother's "psychology", I had to either kiss Satomi's behind, try and coax her back to the US(where obviously I could take major action) -- or forget about my daughter and begin a new family.
The second choice was NEVER for a moment considered. Abandon my daughter to this creature?
So, for the past two years, I have done everything to get Satomi back to the States. And in March 2009, I finally succeeded. Satomi arrived that month(without Saya), under the assumption that once Satomi got a job here and found her own place, she would go back to Kumamoto and get Saya. Satomi got a job beginning May 1 at Mitsubishi, and found her own apartment also in May. (She was living with me until then.)
But guess what? A complication. Satomi refused to go and get our daughter because the new job at Mitsubishi required a three-month probation period, ending on August 1st. Okay, that's fair, especially in this economy. So it was decided, she would go and retrieve Saya in early August, once she passed her probation. (She did pass.)
Also, in July, Satomi and I had our "final" marital interview with Immigration regarding her getting her permanent green card. She did.
To summarize, I stayed married to Satomi, supported her green card through kidnapping, disappearance, adultery and endless lies; and I kissed her backside the whole time for one reason only -- because if I hadn't, I would never have a life with my daughter. Or at least not before she's a teenager. She would have just been hidden away in Japan, with no kind of "mother".
Well, Satomi got her final green card in July and passed her probation on August 1st. No Saya. August is almost gone. The idea of spending the long Labor Day weekend by bringing Saya to NYC is not going to happen.
And over the past week, have come a flurry of new excuses as to why Satomi cannot go to Japan until -- get this -- early 2010, when Saya will already be 5 years old. Her work is too busy. Her dad is having surgery in September & October, so Saya's grandmother will not be able to come with Saya to New York. She wants Saya to go to some special school which isn't accepting kids until 2010. She's thinking of moving to New Jersey.
That's the sad story. I have treated Saya's mother as someone who has a bomb strapped to herself and who threatens to blow everything and everyone up whenever she is asked to do something she doesn't like. (Like taking care of her own little girl!)
At this point, the obvious move is to file a petition against this "human" for child neglect with Family Court here in NYC. But since there is nothing a NY court can do to get Saya out of Japan if her mother doesn't want her around, I'm not sure if that's the smart move. I know I will not wait to finally get my daughter until 2010, but boy this is really being between a rock and a hard place.
The move for my 4-year-old from Japan to New York will be traumatic enough without all this potential legal agony. One thing I made Satomi promise me when I took her in last March was that when it came time for Saya to arrive, we would both do all we could to create as much harmony as possible between her parents. But you see what the reality has been instead.
Again, I'm sorry for this long and confusing post. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
