Waiting period to file for modification??

[gr8rn]

Well, it does speak volumes when the bed buddy is here asking the questions but the Father doesn't want to ask his own questions. It makes it appear that the bed buddy has more interest in the issues than the actual father. If he isn't interested enough to ask his own questions, how do you expect anyone to be interested enough to respond to the "legal stranger"?

 

[CJane]

OP needs to go read the case I posted in the original thread.

The key is that Arkansas considers it to be cohabitation if the people share a residence. It doesn't matter if the children spend the night in the house when the paramour is present, if she stays in a hotel when the kids visit, if she's NEVER around them at ALL. If it's her LEGAL RESIDENCE, then dad is cohabitating with her.

In the specific case I posted, Mom had been ordered to cease cohabitation with her girlfriend. The girlfriend had begun staying elsewhere overnight when the children were present, but spending days with them in the home, and still considered it her residence, as she lived there full time when the children weren't present.

Mom lost custody for continuing to cohabitate against a court order.

 

[amyjrn]

There is no question he made a mistake in not filing for a formal visitation order the day they separated. He is the first person to admit that. But just look at this board...it's filled with dad's (or should I say NCPs) getting hosed in the legal system. So I don't think it's entirely unreasonable for any parent to be fearful of the "what ifs" when the relationship with their child's parent ends.

Perhaps I misstated my position earlier in stating that I "pushed" him into filing for formal visitation order. So please let me rephrase: Very early in our relationship I made it very clear that I would not be with a man who did not A. pay his child support like clock work and B. see his child regularly. He made the decision to file...it was his choice.

And I can completely agree that when a "girlfriend of the week" tries to get involved in the co-parents/childs business it can get ugly quick.

That being said in this crazy world of step parenting and blended families the lines and boundaries do tend to get blurry. At what point is this completely his business to handle in which I have no voice, no opinions and/or no input vs we are married (getting married 8 days from today) and we are a family unit that faces difficulties and decisions together. The same on his end to. My ex lives out of state and basically sees his kids when he is in town (which is rare) and never on course with our written visitation schedule. This drives my fiancee nuts that I allow my kids to see their dad "just whenever he shows up" But what am I supposed to say to my kids....no you can't go see daddy cuz it's not the 1st and 3rd weekend? I would never keep my kids from seeing their dad just to be spiteful because it only hurts the kids. So while we are in the process of blending our families together the best way we know how and doing it all for the best interest of the children it just seams more and more bull$ gets added on by other parties just to be spiteful and in a way that is not for the children. It's all just a learning process in which no one will win and the kids are the losers. So hubby and I have agreed that we will deal with this stuff as it comes up and to stay clearly focused on the children and not on the child's other parent . It's all very sad.

 

[TheGeekess]

There is no question he made a mistake in not filing for a formal visitation order the day they separated. He is the first person to admit that. But just look at this board...it's filled with dad's (or should I say NCPs) getting hosed in the legal system. So I don't think it's entirely unreasonable for any parent to be fearful of the "what ifs" when the relationship with their child's parent ends.

Perhaps I misstated my position earlier in stating that I "pushed" him into filing for formal visitation order. So please let me rephrase: Very early in our relationship I made it very clear that I would not be with a man who did not A. pay his child support like clock work and B. see his child regularly. He made the decision to file...it was his choice.

And I can completely agree that when a "girlfriend of the week" tries to get involved in the co-parents/childs business it can get ugly quick.

That being said in this crazy world of step parenting and blended families the lines and boundaries do tend to get blurry. At what point is this completely his business to handle in which I have no voice, no opinions and/or no input vs we are married (getting married 8 days from today) and we are a family unit that faces difficulties and decisions together. The same on his end to. My ex lives out of state and basically sees his kids when he is in town (which is rare) and never on course with our written visitation schedule. This drives my fiancee nuts that I allow my kids to see their dad "just whenever he shows up" But what am I supposed to say to my kids....no you can't go see daddy cuz it's not the 1st and 3rd weekend? I would never keep my kids from seeing their dad just to be spiteful because it only hurts the kids. So while we are in the process of blending our families together the best way we know how and doing it all for the best interest of the children it just seams more and more bull$ gets added on by other parties just to be spiteful and in a way that is not for the children. It's all just a learning process in which no one will win and the kids are the losers. So hubby and I have agreed that we will deal with this stuff as it comes up and to stay clearly focused on the children and not on the child's other parent . It's all very sad.

The legal happenings between Mom and Dad will NEVER be your business LEGALLY.

And he's not your 'hubby' until you get a piece of paper if you're not living in a common law marriage state.