Trying to strip my parental rights

[Sparco23]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana, USA

My sons mother filed to terminate my parental rights so that her husband can adopt my child. in the motion they have declared that I am unfit and that I have neglected my son physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I have paid child support for over 6 years, the wages are garnished from my checks. I think I've paid 11,500 dollars of the required 15,000 over the last 4 years. I have retained an attorney and have shown up at 2 court hearings to contest it over 10 hours away. There is another hearing in January.

Has anyone ever heard of someons rites being terminated if they pay their support? The mom is trying to terminate me from the childs life becuz she "is embarassed by me".

I have not seen my child in many years, as the mother does not like me. There is no custody order or anything, but she took me to court for child support. I've paid the support but did fail to secure the medical insurance the court asked me to get because the mom would not give me my childs social security number.

My lawyur said that because i paid my child support they cannot stripe my rites and that we will stand on legal ground. also he found out that the stepfather who is on the petition had a charged crime from 2001 a theft charge. so we intend to exploit that compared to my clean record.

does anyone know of any other legal situations i could use? i read that 99 percent of the time if the bio father contests that it gets veto'd. the GAL does not like me and asked me why i am contesting i told her i want the child in my life and she said doo i think its too late. i said no. she also interviewed my parents and told them she was going to recommend the adoption. my lawyer said the GAL is living in fantasy land.

 

[ecmst12]

If you haven't seen your child that is your fault for not taking mom to court to enforce your rights and have visitation put into place. If your child was so important to you, why didn't you do that?

 

[majomom1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana, USA

My sons mother filed to terminate my parental rights so that her husband can adopt my child. in the motion they have declared that I am unfit and that I have neglected my son physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I have paid child support for over 6 years, the wages are garnished from my checks. I think I've paid 11,500 dollars of the required 15,000 over the last 4 years. I have retained an attorney and have shown up at 2 court hearings to contest it over 10 hours away. There is another hearing in January.

Has anyone ever heard of someons rites being terminated if they pay their support? The mom is trying to terminate me from the childs life becuz she "is embarassed by me".

I have not seen my child in many years, as the mother does not like me. There is no custody order or anything, but she took me to court for child support. I've paid the support but did fail to secure the medical insurance the court asked me to get because the mom would not give me my childs social security number.

My lawyur said that because i paid my child support they cannot stripe my rites and that we will stand on legal ground. also he found out that the stepfather who is on the petition had a charged crime from 2001 a theft charge. so we intend to exploit that compared to my clean record.

does anyone know of any other legal situations i could use? i read that 99 percent of the time if the bio father contests that it gets veto'd. the GAL does not like me and asked me why i am contesting i told her i want the child in my life and she said doo i think its too late. i said no. she also interviewed my parents and told them she was going to recommend the adoption. my lawyer said the GAL is living in fantasy land.

The theft charge will not matter. It is not relevant to the child. His taking care of your child will far outweigh that.

Typically the GAL recommendation is huge, but I don't think it carries that much power. I could be wrong.

Why haven't you pursued custody or visitation?

 

[Proserpina]

The GAL's recommendation carries a huge amount of weight, although the GAL herself cannot make the decision, OP.


You have an attorney though - these are things you should be discussing with your attorney.

 

[CourtClerk]

This is where someone's selfishness is much more important than the greater good.

This child is at least 6 years old and for 4 of those 6, you have been nonexistant in this child's life, with the exception of sending a check. You would MUCH RATHER let this child have NO FATHER than to have one that has been there on a daily basis, doing the things that you are supposed to do. There has been absolutely NOTHING stopping you from exercising your parental rights up until now, except that you haven't wanted to, but now that someone else officially wants your job, it's a problem. Hasn't been a problem up until now. Someone else has been raising your child, and you've been ok with that.

Why don't you let this child have the family he so rightly deserves???

 

[stealth2]

I have not seen my child in many years

And what have you done to change this?

 

[AHA]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana, USA

My sons mother filed to terminate my parental rights so that her husband can adopt my child. in the motion they have declared that I am unfit and that I have neglected my son physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I have paid child support for over 6 years, the wages are garnished from my checks. I think I've paid 11,500 dollars of the required 15,000 over the last 4 years. I have retained an attorney and have shown up at 2 court hearings to contest it over 10 hours away. There is another hearing in January.

Has anyone ever heard of someons rites being terminated if they pay their support? The mom is trying to terminate me from the childs life becuz she "is embarassed by me".

I have not seen my child in many years, as the mother does not like me. There is no custody order or anything, but she took me to court for child support. I've paid the support but did fail to secure the medical insurance the court asked me to get because the mom would not give me my childs social security number.

My lawyur said that because i paid my child support they cannot stripe my rites and that we will stand on legal ground. also he found out that the stepfather who is on the petition had a charged crime from 2001 a theft charge. so we intend to exploit that compared to my clean record.

does anyone know of any other legal situations i could use? i read that 99 percent of the time if the bio father contests that it gets veto'd. the GAL does not like me and asked me why i am contesting i told her i want the child in my life and she said doo i think its too late. i said no. she also interviewed my parents and told them she was going to recommend the adoption. my lawyer said the GAL is living in fantasy land.

What is it you want with this child? You haven't been a daddy to the son for years, only sending a check, so what is it you feel is so vital to keep your "rights" to a child who isn't in your life (or you in his).
Are you waiting for him to turn 18, and MAYBE come knocking on your door wanting to play happy families with you, or what is it?
You HAVE to put the child's best interest first, so no matter what you want (since you are not participating in the child's life in any memorable way for him), THAT'S what you are obligated to do.

 

[Tex78704]

If you do not have a visitation order in place, then start moving to request one that you are willing and able to follow. While paying support alone falls far short of being a parent, it also falls short of complete abandonment. If you strongly object and are willing to make a good faith effort to protect your constitutional rights as a parent, a judge will be less inclined to strip these rights... at least for now.

The custody rulings appeals courts are most willing to overturn are those arising from parental termination cases.

But in the event the judge grants your request, you need to man up and start acting like a father.

 

[Sparco23]

I think the stepfather is basically trying to legally assume my standing as the father. I haven't spoke to the mom in many years, but from what I do know the child has been using a step parents last name, which is illegal. We are also going to say the mom has thwated my attempts at contact. I am bringing my dad as a witness.

They cannot legally take my rights as I pay the support order. I did fail to get the insurance but like I said its because mom refused my dad when he asked her for the social security numbers. My dad has sent presents for every birthday and xmas!!

So we can use the child support, mom thrwarted attempts to secure insurance and visitation, and my right in the bill of rights to parent.

Are there any other common defenses against step parent interference. my state is indiana

 

[Zigner]

I think the stepfather is basically trying to legally assume my standing as the father. I haven't spoke to the mom in many years, but from what I do know the child has been using a step parents last name, which is illegal. We are also going to say the mom has thwated my attempts at contact. I am bringing my dad as a witness.

Not necessarily.

It's entirely possible that the name was changed legally.

 

[CJane]

I think the stepfather is basically trying to legally assume my standing as the father. I haven't spoke to the mom in many years, but from what I do know the child has been using a step parents last name, which is illegal.

No it isn't.

We are also going to say the mom has thwated my attempts at contact. I am bringing my dad as a witness.

What attempts at contact? You said yourself that you haven't spoken to Mom in "many years". Clearly you've known where she and the child ARE, as has your father. So what attempts at contact do you have documented?

They cannot legally take my rights as I pay the support order. I did fail to get the insurance but like I said its because mom refused my dad when he asked her for the social security numbers. My dad has sent presents for every birthday and xmas!!

Yes, your rights CAN be terminated in Indiana, even if you're paying support. And your FATHER'S attempts to send tokens to the child is NOT the same as YOU having contact with the child.

So we can use the child support, mom thrwarted attempts to secure insurance and visitation, and my right in the bill of rights to parent.

Again, I suspect there have been no thwarted attempts to secure visitation because there have been no attempts to thwart. You're welcome to prove me wrong.

And paying child support doesn't guarantee that your rights won't be terminated.

Are there any other common defenses against step parent interference. my state is indiana

Interference? Seriously? How is this man interfering with YOUR parenting? You haven't bothered. You should be THANKING him for caring enough about the child YOU created to be there for him in ways you couldn't be bothered to.

Here ya go, read and understand this:

Consent of the Non-Custodial Parent

In most cases, the divorced parent must obtain the consent of the biological father or mother before a stepparent can adopt a child. However, this is not always necessary. Indiana adoption law has provisions by which a stepparent can adopt a child without the consent of the non-custodial, biological parent. Steve and Joel Kirsh can provide guidance on how to best accomplish a stepparent adoption.

No consent is necessary in a stepparent adoption if any one of the following four circumstances apply:

1. The non-custodial parent has abandoned the child for more than six months.
2. The non-custodial parent has failed to support the child for more than one year or failed to make court-ordered, child support payments.
3. The non-custodial parent has failed to significantly communicate with the child for more than one year.
4. The non-custodial parent is unfit to parent the child, issues such as drug abuse, mental illness, or imprisonment may indicate unfitness.

 

[Gail in Georgia]

"My sons mother filed to terminate my parental rights so that her husband can adopt my child. in the motion they have declared that I am unfit and that I have neglected my son physically, mentally, and emotionally."

Quite honestly, from your own posting you've neglected your son on all these levels.

Do you believe a fathers responsibility is limited to having wages garnished for child support? You indicate that gramps has sent presents on christmas and birthdays; have you ever bothered doing the same or is your responsibility limited to getting your wages garnished?

How about setting aside your own selfish motives on what you appear to believe is a "father" and focus on what is right for the child involved here.

Gail

 

[stealth2]

I think the stepfather is basically trying to legally assume my standing as the father. I haven't spoke to the mom in many years, but from what I do know the child has been using a step parents last name, which is illegal. We are also going to say the mom has thwated my attempts at contact. I am bringing my dad as a witness.

How has she thwarted your attempts? DO you have court ordered visitation? If not - Mom is under no obligation to provide you time.

They cannot legally take my rights as I pay the support order. I did fail to get the insurance but like I said its because mom refused my dad when he asked her for the social security numbers. My dad has sent presents for every birthday and xmas!!

Mom is under no obligation to provide your father the child's SSN. It's YOUR responsibility to get that number. And that your Dad sends gifts for the child's birthday and Christmas is very nice. But totally irrelevant. What have YOU done?

So we can use the child support, mom thrwarted attempts to secure insurance and visitation, and my right in the bill of rights to parent.

No, Mom hasn't, based on what you've written. YOU apparently have not attempted to get the SSN. That's your fault. And again - DO you have court-ordered visitation?

Are there any other common defenses against step parent interference. my state is indiana

I don't see how StepDad has interfered.

 

[LdiJ]

Since you have a court order for child support its obvious that your paternity is established. Therefore, if you needed to have the child's SSN to provide medical insurance all you would have had to do to obtain the child's SSN was to go to the SSA with your proof of paternity and they would have given it to you.

 

[Sparco23]

Since you have a court order for child support its obvious that your paternity is established. Therefore, if you needed to have the child's SSN to provide medical insurance all you would have had to do to obtain the child's SSN was to go to the SSA with your proof of paternity and they would have given it to you.

My name is not on the birth certificate, so no I couldn't do much of anything. They don't even let me know where the child is going to school at. The GAL asked me that and I told her they don't provide me any info at all as is expected of a custodial parent.

Its high time that I get legal custody and start knowing whats going on. Also, my attorney says we can avoid reintegration if we can prove that the child has a relationship with my parents.

I understand paying support doesn't guarantee anything buy they can't accuse me of dead beat if I pay regularly.