Trying to strip my parental rights

[AHA]

Child is 6. I originally told the GAL the child was 7 on accident.

I saw the child summer of 2008 when he visited my dad.

The last time I attempted contact was 2005 when the child was 1. I've been unable to attempt contact since then because mom moved far away from me. She also didn't give her number to me, I requested her number at the child support hearing but she told the judge "it was a luxery she couldn't afford at the time". She gave her work number.

I'm not calling the work number, its the child I want to talk to and I know the child is not at work.

The GAL is very rude to me and was very short during our conversation. Its a good thing she isn't the judge.

Ok, I'll repeat since expecting you to read is overestimating you, WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A PARENT TO A CHILD YOU HAVE NEVER PARENTED, AND NEVER TOOK LEGAL STEPS TO PARENT?

 

[Isis1]

Wait! You want to force mom to talk to you, but you don't want to talk to mom??

What planet are you from?

So you could contact, you just didn't want to bad enough? Visiting the child while mom graciously allowed your parents time, doesn't count for you as seeing the child. This is apathy parenting at a disgusting level.

 

[gr8rn]

Child is 6. I originally told the GAL the child was 7 on accident.

The GAL is very rude to me and was very short during our conversation. Its a good thing she isn't the judge.

Not surprised the GAL was not too impressed with you, you didn't even know your childs age. Luckily, she isn't the judge, but she will probably pull a lot of weight when it comes to the judge making decisions (It's a good thing)

 

[AbbaDabba730]

Child is 6. I originally told the GAL the child was 7 on accident.

I saw the child summer of 2008 when he visited my dad.

The last time I attempted contact was 2005 when the child was 1. I've been unable to attempt contact since then because mom moved far away from me. She also didn't give her number to me, I requested her number at the child support hearing but she told the judge "it was a luxery she couldn't afford at the time". She gave her work number.

I'm not calling the work number, its the child I want to talk to and I know the child is not at work.

The GAL is very rude to me and was very short during our conversation. Its a good thing she isn't the judge.

So let me get this straight...
You haven't seen the child in 3 years (half the child's life)
You only paid child support for 4 of the 6 years
The last time you attempted to make contact was when the child was 1, so the child wouldn't even remember
You made no attempt of bringing mom to court to get time with your child

...And now you are planning on going to court to assure your rights as dad, stop the adoption and telling mom how it's gonna be?

Good luck with that.

 

[mistoffolees]

So let me get this straight...
You haven't seen the child in 3 years (half the child's life)
You only paid child support for 4 of the 6 years
The last time you attempted to make contact was when the child was 1, so the child wouldn't even remember
You made no attempt of bringing mom to court to get time with your child

...And now you are planning on going to court to assure your rights as dad, stop the adoption and telling mom how it's gonna be?

Good luck with that.

In all fairness, he says that he has been paying support for 6 years, and paid $11 K out of $14 K over the past 4.

Still, the courts are often fairly forgiving of people admitting their past mistakes. His attorney told him that he doesn't believe that the parental rights will be terminated and I wouldn't want to disagree with that.

There are plenty of people who start out as lousy parents and then turn into good parents in the end. Perhaps he'll be one of them.

Granted, he's not simply going to tell Mom how to parent. There may well be gradual integration and perhaps even supervised visitation at first, and he's certainly going to be NCP with no more than standard visitation in the end, but if he chooses to be a father, the courts may well let him.

 

[Sparco23]

In all fairness, he says that he has been paying support for 6 years, and paid $11 K out of $14 K over the past 4.

Still, the courts are often fairly forgiving of people admitting their past mistakes. His attorney told him that he doesn't believe that the parental rights will be terminated and I wouldn't want to disagree with that.

There are plenty of people who start out as lousy parents and then turn into good parents in the end. Perhaps he'll be one of them.

Granted, he's not simply going to tell Mom how to parent. There may well be gradual integration and perhaps even supervised visitation at first, and he's certainly going to be NCP with no more than standard visitation in the end, but if he chooses to be a father, the courts may well let him.

Exactly. Mom is in panic mode because she doesn't want me to be in the childs life and reveal all the lies she has told him. Mom is in for a rude awakening.

 

[Nevergrowup]

I am very, very sad for this child.

OP, why don't you go pee on a tree? That might get you the same feeling of importance...dogs seem pretty happy marking their territory that way.

What a superstar dad you are...driving eight whole hours! Pat on the back, for sure. Dad of the year award in the mail. Supported your child for 4 whole years out of six...you are indeed awesome. Was the child in a deep freeze for the times you didn't support the child, and you just thawed him out?

I hope the judge goes with the GAL's recommendation...the child deserves a father...and, OP, I mean a real one, which has not been you for the last six years. Sperm doesn't make a daddy.

Misto...I know firsthand that sometimes parents that start out shaky can turn things around...but it seems unbelievable that it took adoption papers to make this "man" finally want to parent, and now he thinks to demand all kinds of things? Laughable.

 

[Sparco23]

I've been paying for 4 years because it wasn't until 4 years ago that she filed for child support. Ever since that court hearing, I've paid a solid portion of the child support order. I did fail to secure the medical coverage, but that is minute and also she wouldn't give me the social security number.

 

[Nevergrowup]

Exactly. Mom is in panic mode because she doesn't want me to be in the childs life and reveal all the lies she has told him. Mom is in for a rude awakening.

Oh yes, you are right. This situation is MOM'S fault. Not yours at all that it has taken you six years to try to parent. You are awesome after all...it is all her.

 

[Sparco23]

I am very, very sad for this child.

OP, why don't you go pee on a tree? That might get you the same feeling of importance...dogs seem pretty happy marking their territory that way.

What a superstar dad you are...driving eight whole hours! Pat on the back, for sure. Dad of the year award in the mail. Supported your child for 4 whole years out of six...you are indeed awesome. Was the child in a deep freeze for the times you didn't support the child, and you just thawed him out?

I hope the judge goes with the GAL's recommendation...the child deserves a father...and, OP, I mean a real one, which has not been you for the last six years. Sperm doesn't make a daddy.

Misto...I know firsthand that sometimes parents that start out shaky can turn things around...but it seems unbelievable that it took adoption papers to make this "man" finally want to parent, and now he thinks to demand all kinds of things? Laughable.

The child support order was not levyed until 4 years ago when the child was 2.

Regardless of what any of you think, I am the father, not the step dad. He is a stranger. I found out that not only does the child think step dad is the father, but he also uses his last name. That is usupment of my status.

 

[WittyUserName]

Exactly. Mom is in panic mode because she doesn't want me to be in the childs life and reveal all the lies she has told him. Mom is in for a rude awakening.

Look, Sparky. You have to recognize that your behavior is a big part of the issue. Mom has had full responsibility for YEARS. You decided you didn't want to be around the child. If you want to come back and co-parent, then realize that you need to find a way to work it out with Mom. If you're only coming back to punish her for whatever you think she did, you need to get over yourself. What about "Mom's rude awakening" is about the child's best interest?? You should focus on creating a relationship with your child.

I'm with Nevergrowup - this poor kid.

 

[ecmst12]

You know, if you would have gone to court when mom first moved away, you could have gotten the court to order that she pay for all transportation costs for visitation. Now though, not a chance. I will grant that mom is partially to blame for the lack of contact here but you didn't lift a finger about it for all this time.

 

[Just Blue]

I've been paying for 4 years because it wasn't until 4 years ago that she filed for child support. Ever since that court hearing, I've paid a solid portion of the child support order. I did fail to secure the medical coverage, but that is minute and also she wouldn't give me the social security number.

Are you flipping kidding? You think your VERY YOUNG CHILD not having access to proper medical care is "minute"?? Do you have any concept of the medical issues a little one could have? Cancer? Deadly infections? Broken bones? Will you call the E.R. and tell then that although the child is un-insured they should just consider this a "minute" issue and treat the child anyway?

Moron.

 

[Nevergrowup]

The child support order was not levyed until 4 years ago when the child was 2.

Regardless of what any of you think, I am the father, not the step dad. He is a stranger. I found out that not only does the child think step dad is the father, but he also uses his last name. That is usupment of my status.

So, before the court told you the child had to be supported...you didn't know that? Again I ask, was the child in a deep freeze until wage garnishment began?

And no. You aren't a father. You made a deposit of your sperm, and money is taken out of your checks. Is that all YOUR father did for you? I bet not...sounds like your dad was a real dad, but failed to teach YOU how to do it. You can whine and have all the excuses in the world...most of us see what you are, and what motivates you...and apparently so does the GAL, thank goodness. Someday you will grow up and realize you were a poor excuse for a father and you should look in the mirror for who to blame.

I wonder if you go through life blaming others for your poor choices...my guess is yes. Good luck with that.

 

[Gail in Georgia]

"My sons mother filed to terminate my parental rights so that her husband can adopt my child. in the motion they have declared that I am unfit and that I have neglected my son physically, mentally, and emotionally."


Doesn't sound as if moms argument of you being an unfit parent has anything to do with money. Her argument will be that you neglected your son physically, mentally and emotionally...and despite all your posts arguing the contrary, that sounds exactly what you did.

What will your argument in court be that you didn't do this (other than your assumption that having money garnished from your wages meets these requirements)?

Gail