Want to give my father custody.

[crusecharles]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia Beach, Virginia

My name is Charles. My mother and father have been divorced for over 8 years now. Over the course of the 8 years, my father has payed for 90% of everything. While my mother fights to pay the other 10%(which she pays with the child support my father gives her). My father is working 70-hours a week and my mother is married and does not work. Living wise, my mother and step-father live in a better house, have more cars and ect.
I am upset at the way this is going and would like to change it. I am 16 (17 in a month) and would like to get a formal court order to give full custody to my father. (My little brother, 14, also wishes to go with my father). Being the child can I obtain/fill out and submit a formal court order to give custody to my father of me and my brother? If so, how do I go onto obtaining and submiting one? If I cannot, can my father get one? And how would he obtain one?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia Beach, Virginia

My name is Charles. My mother and father have been divorced for over 8 years now. Over the course of the 8 years, my father has payed for 90% of everything. While my mother fights to pay the other 10%(which she pays with the child support my father gives her). My father is working 70-hours a week and my mother is married and does not work. Living wise, my mother and step-father live in a better house, have more cars and ect.
I am upset at the way this is going and would like to change it. I am 16 (17 in a month) and would like to get a formal court order to give full custody to my father. (My little brother, 14, also wishes to go with my father). Being the child can I obtain/fill out and submit a formal court order to give custody to my father of me and my brother? If so, how do I go onto obtaining and submiting one? If I cannot, can my father get one? And how would he obtain one?

You have no standing to do anything.

Your father needs to sign up for his own account. Then we'll be able to help him

 

[CSO286]

This is a matter for the adults. A child may not bring it before the court.

Your dad needs to file for primary physical custody and he needs to have appropriate grounds to do so--and you preference alone does not constitute those grounds.

 

[crusecharles]

So no matter what I cannot file one?
Can I know the steps if my father were to try and obtain one then?
I owe him alot for letting my mother get away with this, so if you could please tell me. I want to help him.

As I said earlier, he is the one who works and pays for nearly everything. Would that be enough for him to obtain custody?

 

[CSO286]

So no matter what I cannot file one?
Can I know the steps if my father were to try and obtain one then?
I owe him alot for letting my mother get away with this, so if you could please tell me. I want to help him.

No matter what, you cannot file.
The steps: Dad would need to bring his own action to modify the custody agreement.
Then you need to bring Dad over to the computer and have him create his own account. Dad is going to know things you don't that would enable us (the volunteers) to assist him.

 

[LdiJ]

So no matter what I cannot file one?
Can I know the steps if my father were to try and obtain one then?
I owe him alot for letting my mother get away with this, so if you could please tell me. I want to help him.

As I said earlier, he is the one who works and pays for nearly everything. Would that be enough for him to obtain custody?

Believe it or not the fact that he pays for everything (if you even have the facts correctly) is something that you should NOT know. So, if your dad has filled you in on that kind of information, that could cause your dad some considerable grief in court.

Your mother and stepfather are providing a roof over your heads, food in your bellies and the basic necessities of life. I suspect that's considerably more than the child support your father pays, and considerably more than 10% of your support.

Custody also has nothing to do with who provides the most support.

 

[Proserpina]

So no matter what I cannot file one?
Can I know the steps if my father were to try and obtain one then?
I owe him alot for letting my mother get away with this, so if you could please tell me. I want to help him.

As I said earlier, he is the one who works and pays for nearly everything. Would that be enough for him to obtain custody?

PLEASE have Dad sign up...eh, forget it. Here's the deal.

Dad needs to prove to the court that there has been a change in circumstance in YOUR life, not his or Mom's. THEN he can go to court. Then, and ONLY then, would your wishes be considered.

So - unless something has changed, it's not going to happen. And let's face it - you're almost 17. If Mom fights this, you will likely be 18 by the time it's all over and done with and Dad will have spent thousands of dollars on a pointless court case...because at midnight + 1 minute on your 18th birthday, you're free to pack your toothbrush, and leave Mom forever.

Regardless.

 

[crusecharles]

I'm sure my father has atleast 3 accounts on websites just like this, although I do not know them.

But would the fact that my father tries and my mother does not be strong enough grounds to change custody?

Does preference alone really not mean anything? My sister, 12 at the time, told my mother she wanted to go with her more. My mother filed for some court change and my parents went to a meeting where my mother got weekends for my sister (My father sees my sister 2 weekdays out of the month, when it was origionally 2 weeks out of the month). I would think it would apply the same to me. If not does anyone know what my mother may have applied for?

 

[Proserpina]

I'm sure my father has atleast 3 accounts on websites just like this, although I do not know them.

But would the fact that my father tries and my mother does not be strong enough grounds to change custody?

Does preference alone really not mean anything? My sister, 12 at the time, told my mother she wanted to go with her more. My mother filed for some court change and my parents went to a meeting where my mother got weekends for my sister (My father sees my sister 2 weekdays out of the month, when it was origionally 2 weeks out of the month). I would think it would apply the same to me. If not does anyone know what my mother may have applied for?

STOP IT.

Get DAD here.

Please.

Thanks!

 

[crusecharles]

Believe it or not the fact that he pays for everything (if you even have the facts correctly) is something that you should NOT know. So, if your dad has filled you in on that kind of information, that could cause your dad some considerable grief in court.

Your mother and stepfather are providing a roof over your heads, food in your bellies and the basic necessities of life. I suspect that's considerably more than the child support your father pays, and considerably more than 10% of your support.

Custody also has nothing to do with who provides the most support.

Yes, I realized it could backfire, but he has not told me this. It is just through the asking of my mother, her replying no, then my father doing it, that I know. I do not talk about small things like clothes, I am talking about things like braces, cars, medical bills (surguries/check ups). My mother has also admitted to me directly, she spends the child support on other things then me and my siblings. My dad pays about $1000 in child support.
Their standard of living is higher then my fathers, and he still pays them, would that be changed if I gave custody to my father?

 

[TheGeekess]

Short answer: We are not discussing this any further with a child.

 

[crusecharles]

Short answer: We are not discussing this any further with a child.

I do not understand what my age has to do with much of this. I am seeking for advice on a forum where people give advice to others. I did not see anywhere saying I must be an adult to recieve advice. This is a serious matter (for me atleast) and I am not replying back with anything negative. I can answer most questions my dad would. I do not see the reason why my age has anything to do with not replying back to me.

 

[Proserpina]

I do not understand what my age has to do with much of this. I am seeking for advice on a forum where people give advice to others. I did not see anywhere saying I must be an adult to recieve advice. This is a serious matter (for me atleast) and I am not replying back with anything negative. I can answer most questions my dad would. I do not see the reason why my age has anything to do with not replying back to me.

..because it's not your legal matter.

It's your Mom & Dad's legal matter.

Get one of them to sign up.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I will say this:

Stop fixating on your mother and stepfather's "standard of living" and whether that relates to how much support your father pays. Apparently your household's standard of living is largely dependent on your stepfather's income, which has no bearing on the support calculation between your parents. Your stepfather is not responsible for you. Your father and mother are.

Basically, the amount of money it takes to properly care for you is calculated by the court. Your mother is assigned a share and your father is assigned a share, which he pays the custodial parent--your mother. It doesn't matter if your stepfather is a millionaire. You're not his child, you're not his obligation. His money isn't considered.

 

[crusecharles]

..because it's not your legal matter.

It's your Mom & Dad's legal matter.

Get one of them to sign up.

Yes, I may not be fighting in the court like they are, but I am directly involved.
I apologize if I somehow offended people here by being 17, but I am still looking for advice and that is what this forum is for, so I will keep asking.

Earlier I said that my sister, at the time 12, told my mother that she wanted to spend more time with her. She filed for a change in custody and got more days with my sister. Can I do the same with my dad? And might anybody know what kind of form she may have filed for?