Want to give my father custody.

[crusecharles]

I will say this:

Stop fixating on your mother and stepfather's "standard of living" and whether that relates to how much support your father pays. Apparently your household's standard of living is largely dependent on your stepfather's income, which has no bearing on the support calculation between your parents. Your stepfather is not responsible for you. Your father and mother are.

Basically, the amount of money it takes to properly care for you is calculated by the court. Your mother is assigned a share and your father is assigned a share, which he pays the custodial parent--your mother. It doesn't matter if your stepfather is a millionaire. You're not his child, you're not his obligation. His money isn't considered.

I realize I have fixated on the "standard of living", that is because in the begining, 8 years ago when my mother was not married to either my father or step father and had a job, she based the child support from the "standard of living." If it was based on that before, wouldn't that mean it should be based on "standard of living" now?

Yes I realize I am not his obligation, which irritates me more.
In the case that my step-fathers money does not count, then technically my mother is not paying for anything at all for me and my siblings. If my father were to file for me in court, would that come into play and, for a loss of words, give him an advantage?

 

[>Charlotte<]

Earlier I said that my sister, at the time 12, told my mother that she wanted to spend more time with her. She filed for a change in custody and got more days with my sister. Can I do the same with my dad? And might anybody know what kind of form she may have filed for?

This is why nobody wants to discuss this with you. Because you don't know what you're talking about. No offense there--it's just a blunt way of getting to the point.

It doesn't work like that. Nobody just "filed a form" and created a change in custody. Without knowing the facts nobody can guess what happened, but it probably involved the request or suggestion by your mother, to which your father agreed, which was then formalized in court. I don't know what they told you, or what you think you know, but the process is not as simple as you seem to think.

Unless your mother agrees or there is a compelling reason in your best interest to change custody--which will require much more than just what you "want"--this is not going to happen. Even if the process were to be started, no change is likely to happen before you're 18, at which point you can do what you want anyway.

 

[>Charlotte<]

You know what, I'm just gonna say it.

Your father has been through the process of establishing custody. He has also been through the process of changing custody. He obviously knows what to do. If he's not doing it, there's a reason for that.

 

[crusecharles]

This is why nobody wants to discuss this with you. Because you don't know what you're talking about. No offense there--it's just a blunt way of getting to the point.

It doesn't work like that. Nobody just "filed a form" and created a change in custody. Without knowing the facts nobody can guess what happened, but it probably involved the request or suggestion by your mother, to which your father agreed, which was then formalized in court. I don't know what they told you, or what you think you know, but the process is not as simple as you seem to think.

Unless your mother agrees or there is a compelling reason in your best interest to change custody--which will require much more than just what you "want"--this is not going to happen. Even if the process were to be started, no change is likely to happen before you're 18, at which point you can do what you want anyway.

I see, thank you for telling me I am missing facts to tell people on the forum.

The reason he has not filed is because she might fight, and my step-father earns more then my father, so she could outspend him.

Thank you everyone for the advice.

 

[majomom1]

Yes, I may not be fighting in the court like they are, but I am directly involved.
I apologize if I somehow offended people here by being 17, but I am still looking for advice and that is what this forum is for, so I will keep asking.

Earlier I said that my sister, at the time 12, told my mother that she wanted to spend more time with her. She filed for a change in custody and got more days with my sister. Can I do the same with my dad? And might anybody know what kind of form she may have filed for?

You need to talk to your Mom, and Dad. Tell them your wishes etc... then it will be up to them to decide.

There is nothing you can file in court. It has to be Mom or Dad.

 

[crusecharles]

You need to talk to your Mom, and Dad. Tell them your wishes etc... then it will be up to them to decide.

There is nothing you can file in court. It has to be Mom or Dad.

Seems as though that is the only option, thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

I do not understand what my age has to do with much of this. I am seeking for advice on a forum where people give advice to others. I did not see anywhere saying I must be an adult to recieve advice. This is a serious matter (for me atleast) and I am not replying back with anything negative. I can answer most questions my dad would. I do not see the reason why my age has anything to do with not replying back to me.

The thing is, is that it doesn't work any way close to the way that you imagine that it works, and it would be inappropriate of us to educate you to that extent. Your parents are entitled to decide how much education you should have on that subject.

You are also a minor who should not be involved in the business between his parents.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I see, thank you for telling me I am missing facts. The reason he has not filed is because she might fight, and my step-father earns more then my father, so she could outspend him. Thank you everyone for the advice.

Well, then, if he won't file for whatever reason--that's it. Nothing you can do.

Hang in there, count your blessings, and work hard at becoming a self-sufficient adult as soon as you are legally and financially able to do so. You're almost 17. It's crunch time.

Good luck.

 

[crusecharles]

The thing is, is that it doesn't work any way close to the way that you imagine that it works, and it would be inappropriate of us to educate you to that extent. Your parents are entitled to decide how much education you should have on that subject.

You are also a minor who should not be involved in the business between his parents.

Yes, it looks like I'm looking at this the wrong way.
I'll try to learn how it does work. Thank you.

 

[crusecharles]

Well, then, if he won't file for whatever reason--that's it. Nothing you can do.

Hang in there, count your blessings, and work hard at becoming a self-sufficient adult as soon as you are legally and financially able to do so. You're almost 17. It's crunch time.

Good luck.

Yes, thank you very much.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Yes, I realized it could backfire, but he has not told me this. It is just through the asking of my mother, her replying no, then my father doing it, that I know. I do not talk about small things like clothes, I am talking about things like braces, cars, medical bills (surguries/check ups). My mother has also admitted to me directly, she spends the child support on other things then me and my siblings. My dad pays about $1000 in child support.
Their standard of living is higher then my fathers, and he still pays them, would that be changed if I gave custody to my father?

No, you really don't understand. Really. You don't have all of the information, and can't/shouldn't judge things based upon one parent appearing to "try" and the other not. Frankly, you asking one parent, getting an answer you don't like then going to the other? Is down right manipulative. What... doesn't Mom let you do what you want, when you want? Is Dad offering you freedom? Sorry, but this isn't a game to play. If your dad was in a position to obtain custody, he'd already be in the process. Sit back, keep your mouth closed and wait your time until you're an adult. There is information you don't have and shouldn't be privy to. It is what it is.

 

[stealth2]

if I gave custody to my father?

The only one who can give custody to your father is Mom or a judge. Period. YOU cannot.

And frankly? You really have some nerve to claim your mother does nothing. What - she sat on her rear, popping bon-bons while you played Cinderella? Try raising a kid or two yourself. Then come back and tell us that your mother did nothing for you.

 

[ecmst12]

Don't blame OP, his dad has probably been feeding him this crap for the past 10 years, trying to poison him against his mom, and it worked.