POA and Guardianship

[jekyl007]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

My boyfriend is National Guard and is going overseas to afghanistan.. He has full custody of his 2 year old son.. The biological mother has not seen her son in almost 2 years and has very little to almost no contact with him.. My boyfriend gave me POA and Guardianship over his son why he is away and if something was to happen to him.. I am wondering if the biological mom can just drop back into his life and take him away from me while my boyfriend is overseas? The judge took custody away from her in Pennsylvania after she wouldnt follow the court order of shared custody.. He told her if she wanted visitation or her rights back to see him she would have to file for it again through court.. that was almost 2 years ago and she hasnt done that.. Could someone please help me find out what she could or couldnt do? I have raised him since he was only 6 months old and I concider him one of my own children.. it would break my heart to lose him to her when she has never really been there for him.. Thanks

 

[WittyUserName]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

My boyfriend is National Guard and is going overseas to afghanistan.. He has full custody of his 2 year old son.. The biological mother has not seen her son in almost 2 years and has very little to almost no contact with him.. My boyfriend gave me POA and Guardianship over his son why he is away and if something was to happen to him.. I am wondering if the biological mom can just drop back into his life and take him away from me while my boyfriend is overseas? The judge took custody away from her in Pennsylvania after she wouldnt follow the court order of shared custody.. He told her if she wanted visitation or her rights back to see him she would have to file for it again through court.. that was almost 2 years ago and she hasnt done that.. Could someone please help me find out what she could or couldnt do? I have raised him since he was only 6 months old and I concider him one of my own children.. it would break my heart to lose him to her when she has never really been there for him.. Thanks

Well, the legal reality is that if something were to happen to Dad then Mom would be first in line. She has constitutional rights to the child, so if her parental rights (note: NOT her custodial rights) have not been terminated then legally he belongs with Mom. She can exercise that right anytime before he turns 18 should she choose to.

Many of us here are stepparents. You really should understand that while you can love your stepkids, you are not a parent and legally that matters. He knows you aren't his actual Mom, I hope?

 

[jekyl007]

Like I stated he is only 2.. so to him I am his mommy.. He is not old enough to realize that he has a "biological" mother especially since he hasnt seen her in almsot 2 years and only has contact with her about once every 5 or 6 months when she feels like it.. when she does have contact for about 1 day twice a year we will tell him its mommy *then use her name* but he just throws down the phone and runs off to curl up in my lap.. but I guess if worse comes to worse then I will help the paternal grandparents fight for custody since they know and see him on a regular basis.. his biological mom is very unstable and has lost her other 2 children to cps (cys) a few times one of them being just last october.. I just wanted to know what all rights a federal guardianship gave me if something was to happen to my boyfriend while he was overseas..

 

[Silverplum]

Like I stated he is only 2.. so to him I am his mommy.. He is not old enough to realize that he has a "biological" mother especially since he hasnt seen her in almsot 2 years and only has contact with her about once every 5 or 6 months when she feels like it.. when she does have contact for about 1 day twice a year we will tell him its mommy *then use her name* but he just throws down the phone and runs off to curl up in my lap.. but I guess if worse comes to worse then I will help the paternal grandparents fight for custody since they know and see him on a regular basis.. his biological mom is very unstable and has lost her other 2 children to cps (cys) a few times one of them being just last october.. I just wanted to know what all rights a federal guardianship gave me if something was to happen to my boyfriend while he was overseas..

You have no legal rights.

 

[TheGeekess]

Well, the legal reality is that if something were to happen to Dad then Mom would be first in line. She has constitutional rights to the child, so if her parental rights (note: NOT her custodial rights) have not been terminated then legally he belongs with Mom. She can exercise that right anytime before he turns 18 should she choose to.

Many of us here are stepparents. You really should understand that while you can love your stepkids, you are not a parent and legally that matters. He knows you aren't his actual Mom, I hope?

She's not even a stepparent. She's a GIRLFRIEND.

 

[jekyl007]

yes I am a girlfriend.. we are getting married in March before he goes to afghanistan.. and as I stated through the military because of him having full custody of his son, I was given legal guardianship of his 2 year old son.. that is why I am asking what all that entails from a state view..

 

[WittyUserName]

She's not even a stepparent. She's a GIRLFRIEND.

Yeah, I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Before I read her last post, anyway. Does no one use the search function? It's exhausting trying to restate the legal reality for the clueless over and over.

 

[Silverplum]

yes I am a girlfriend.. we are getting married in March before he goes to afghanistan.. and as I stated through the military because of him having full custody of his son, I was given legal guardianship of his 2 year old son.. that is why I am asking what all that entails from a state view..

You still don't have any legal parental rights to the child. With the marriage, you become a stepmother instead of a girlfriend.

 

[WittyUserName]

yes I am a girlfriend.. we are getting married in March before he goes to afghanistan.. and as I stated through the military because of him having full custody of his son, I was given legal guardianship of his 2 year old son.. that is why I am asking what all that entails from a state view..

Nothing. You were given accurate legal information. And even a stepparent with a POA doesn't trump Mom's right to her child.

 

[Silverplum]

Does no one use the search function? It's exhausting trying to restate the legal reality for the clueless over and over.

No, no one ever uses the SEARCH.

You should have lunch: that'll revive you!

 

[jekyl007]

wow.. nevermind.. apparently a "girlfriend" who is marrying the father in a little over a month and will be officially the stepmother isnt allowed to ask a question about a legal guardianship paper through the military.. so thanks to those who gave actual information to it, I appreciate it.. and to those who wanted to be so rude.. I may just be his girlfriend right now, but I have raised his son for almost 2 years and he is one of my kids no matter what.. seeing as to the fact that I am the only mother he has truely ever known.. thanks again

 

[Silverplum]

wow.. nevermind.. apparently a "girlfriend" who is marrying the father in a little over a month and will be officially the stepmother isnt allowed to ask a question about a legal guardianship paper through the military.. so thanks to those who gave actual information to it, I appreciate it.. and to those who wanted to be so rude.. I may just be his girlfriend right now, but I have raised his son for almost 2 years and he is one of my kids no matter what.. seeing as to the fact that I am the only mother he has truely ever known.. thanks again

Twinkles, this is a...drumroll, please...LEGAL board.

On a LEGAL board, you get the LEGAL answer. You are, legally, without superior rights to the child in this situation.

What's so hard to grasp?

The End.

 

[WittyUserName]

wow.. nevermind.. apparently a "girlfriend" who is marrying the father in a little over a month and will be officially the stepmother isnt allowed to ask a question about a legal guardianship paper through the military.. so thanks to those who gave actual information to it, I appreciate it.. and to those who wanted to be so rude.. I may just be his girlfriend right now, but I have raised his son for almost 2 years and he is one of my kids no matter what.. seeing as to the fact that I am the only mother he has truely ever known.. thanks again

Great. But know that if Mom ever gets her act together, anytime before this child is 18, she will be granted visitation at a minimum. And if something happens to Dad, Mom could be granted custody. Then you can explain to this poor kid why it was okay to lie to him. You and Dad should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

[jekyl007]

no that is the part I am saying thank you about.. to those who gave the answer without being rude.. that is why I was also trying to ask what is the point of a legal guardianship of him if the mother can swoop in? also when I move to North Carolina, I know that they are the "in the best interest of the child" state.. but from doing some reading I also see that they will not take a child from a guardian if the biological parent tries to file for custody while the other parent is overseas.. that is the kind of things I was looking and asking for.. not the rudeness of some people.. yes right now I am a girlfriend.. but doesnt mean that I was not trying to find out some legal stuff on the guardianship paper without being put down or treated badly just cuz I am a girlfriend or soon to be step-parent, when I have raised him for most of his life and love him like he is mine.. especially when the mother is in and out of the looney bin, loses her other two children to cps, and has been physically violent with her own boyfriend in front of her other two children.. that is why I came here to see if she could just take him away while my boyfriend is gone.. not to be put down or treated rudely for asking it and trying to get accurate information

 

[jekyl007]

we have never lied to him about who his mother is.. he is 2 years old and she has nothing to do with him.. he knows me as mommy and her as mommy *with her name* for when she does try to call.. I do not feel ashamed for him calling me mommy.. nor do I feel ashamed for him having all the love and support he should have at the age of 2.. he has a right to feel loved just like my other children do.. I have my older kids running around and calling me mommy.. I am not going to be mean to a child I have raised and not allow him to call me mommy and make him feel left out, besides anyone with a 2 year old knows that you cant make them understand at that age..