Kids games/practice and visitation time

[azmomof3]

Here would be my take on it, file with the court to see what you can do and if you can get it worked out that way
but in the mean time I would give dad double time if that is what he is wanting so that son can make the wrestling match

 

[Countrygirl07]

Actually, I suspect that there's more involved than that, anyway. Something tells me that Mom may have created some of the problem - the comments about stepmom suggests that Mom has had an issue with her previously - Dad may be using that as an excuse to get back at Mom for interfering in his marriage. I could be wrong, but that's what my sixth sense is telling me based on Mom's post.

Actually I haven't done anything to create the problem other than ask Child support enforcement to actually enforce his paying. I know what she says cause she runs her mouth to my kids and it upsets them. But I haven't said anything to her. And the one tournament he did bring him to, I was very nice and talked to them about how everything worked. Even visited with his dad. I did my best to make it as comfortable as possible. She's the one that kept giving dirty looks and moved to the other side of the gym. And even griped at my daughter for coming down to talk to me.

I know someone who took this to court and the dad ended up having to make sure the kids got to their practice or games but they were limited to 2 sports a year. 2 for each kid is plenty around here so I'm hoping for something close to that. I have left a message for an attorney that I have conferred with before.

The double time thing isn't off the table completely yet but at the same time I don't want to set a precedent for the future where he thinks he can do that all the time.

Again, he agreed to this but wrestling isn't his sport so he changed his mind.

 

[stealth2]

The double time thing isn't off the table completely yet but at the same time I don't want to set a precedent for the future where he thinks he can do that all the time.

Then tell your son that he can't participate, by your choice. Because you're not going to get it into court before that tournament.

 

[majomom1]

Actually I haven't done anything to create the problem other than ask Child support enforcement to actually enforce his paying. I know what she says cause she runs her mouth to my kids and it upsets them. But I haven't said anything to her. And the one tournament he did bring him to, I was very nice and talked to them about how everything worked. Even visited with his dad. I did my best to make it as comfortable as possible. She's the one that kept giving dirty looks and moved to the other side of the gym. And even griped at my daughter for coming down to talk to me.

I know someone who took this to court and the dad ended up having to make sure the kids got to their practice or games but they were limited to 2 sports a year. 2 for each kid is plenty around here so I'm hoping for something close to that. I have left a message for an attorney that I have conferred with before.

The double time thing isn't off the table completely yet but at the same time I don't want to set a precedent for the future where he thinks he can do that all the time.

Again, he agreed to this but wrestling isn't his sport so he changed his mind.

Lol... this is your problem mom. Do not talk to Dad around Step Mom. Some of them just hate for us to get along. I have been on both sides of this, in KS.

Give the double time or whatever it takes for your son to do the tournament. You will prevail in court because the judge knows that the kids need the extra curricular activities and it is impossible to plan them on just your time. The school sets the schedule, not you.

You got Dad's approval upfront... he cannot change it later. That will stand in court. Dad can be a PIA, but the judge will not allow him to do it to the kids. He will look like a real idiot in court.

As long as you don't have him signed up for every sport, or every other thing going on in school... you will prevail. Just make sure that ALL school events on Dad's time have Dad's approval.

 

[mistoffolees]

Then tell your son that he can't participate, by your choice. Because you're not going to get it into court before that tournament.

Exactly. While Dad's demands may be unreasonable, they're no more unreasonable than Mom scheduling activities on Dad's time. So if Mom chooses not to give up the time, it's really HER fault that the kids can't participate.

 

[majomom1]

Exactly. While Dad's demands may be unreasonable, they're no more unreasonable than Mom scheduling activities on Dad's time. So if Mom chooses not to give up the time, it's really HER fault that the kids can't participate.

Mom got Dad's approval and she did offer other time.

It is not HER fault and it is sad that Dad is being a PIA.

The kid loses here, not mom.

In all the posts I have seen from both Stealth and Misto, neither of you would not stand for this. You would offer double, or even triple time... and then rip the other parent in court.

 

[Countrygirl07]

Mom got Dad's approval and she did offer other time.

It is not HER fault and it is sad that Dad is being a PIA.

The kid loses here, not mom.

In all the posts I have seen from both Stealth and Misto, neither of you would not stand for this. You would offer double, or even triple time... and then rip the other parent in court.

Thank you Majo. My kids have begged and begged their dad to support them in their sports since he bailed after agreeing. The girls are just as upset as my son. Thing is, they don't want to go for the whole next weekend which is what he's demanding. He is missing a tournament he really should be at this weekend so that we aren't asking for too much, even though he really needs the mat time before championships.

I know I will get slammed for this but I am very open with my kids on what is going on in this matter. I have told them what we need to do in order for him to get to go and they don't agree. They were so upset when he first bailed on everything that my 13yr old started texting him asking him to change his mind. He got nasty with her and even accused her of lying and then refused to respond to her anymore.

We will see how their weekend goes and if they want to do the extra time thing when they get back. As much as I want my son to go to his tournament, I have to consider the wishes of all 3 kids.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you Majo. My kids have begged and begged their dad to support them in their sports since he bailed after agreeing. The girls are just as upset as my son. Thing is, they don't want to go for the whole next weekend which is what he's demanding. He is missing a tournament he really should be at this weekend so that we aren't asking for too much, even though he really needs the mat time before championships.

I know I will get slammed for this but I am very open with my kids on what is going on in this matter. I have told them what we need to do in order for him to get to go and they don't agree. They were so upset when he first bailed on everything that my 13yr old started texting him asking him to change his mind. He got nasty with her and even accused her of lying and then refused to respond to her anymore.

We will see how their weekend goes and if they want to do the extra time thing when they get back. As much as I want my son to go to his tournament, I have to consider the wishes of all 3 kids.

Congratulations for putting your kids in the middle of an adult situation.

Knock it off.

For THEIR sakes.

 

[Countrygirl07]

Congratulations for putting your kids in the middle of an adult situation.

Knock it off.

For THEIR sakes.

My kids asked to do sports, they asked their dad if they could. The "situation" was brought on by them, I am merely supporting them in their choices. It is not possible to keep them out of everything when they get older. They are not dumb. They know he changed his mind and have come to me to try and do something. But I told them if this is something they want then they need to stand up for themselves as well. I always insist that they do it with respect but make their wishes clear.

So I can't "knock it off" or I give up on them.

 

[Proserpina]

My kids asked to do sports, they asked their dad if they could. The "situation" was brought on by them, I am merely supporting them in their choices. It is not possible to keep them out of everything when they get older. They are not dumb. They know he changed his mind and have come to me to try and do something. But I told them if this is something they want then they need to stand up for themselves as well. I always insist that they do it with respect but make their wishes clear.

So I can't "knock it off" or I give up on them.

No.

You need to be THE PARENT.

You need to explain to the kids that while you acknowledge that they've made their wishes clear to YOU, that this is actually between you and Dad.

It's NOT between them and Dad.

 

[Countrygirl07]

No.

You need to be THE PARENT.

You need to explain to the kids that while you acknowledge that they've made their wishes clear to YOU, that this is actually between you and Dad.

It's NOT between them and Dad.

I am mom and if you ask my kids, a really good one. My kids have a say in their lives. No they don't do whatever they want but on subjects such as this their wishes are listened to. They are also involved because he accuses that this is what I want and not what they want. So in order to make it clear they have to tell him what they want. I can't do that for them. I don't know how old your kids are but if you are able to keep them in the dark about everything then you must be a magician.

I didn't ask you for advise on parenting skills. Other than this issue, my kids are very happy and they know they have pretty strict rules here. But as long as they do what is expected of them, i.e. chores and grades, then they get to have the thing such as friends over and their sports. I would even take the sports away if their grades fell.

So on how I am with my kids is not up for debate here. I've done the hiding thing (and still do on the child support and other issues) but this one is their fight that momma is backing them in. They started the fight, I will finish it if I have to.

 

[Proserpina]

I am mom and if you ask my kids, a really good one. My kids have a say in their lives. No they don't do whatever they want but on subjects such as this their wishes are listened to. They are also involved because he accuses that this is what I want and not what they want. So in order to make it clear they have to tell him what they want. I can't do that for them. I don't know how old your kids are but if you are able to keep them in the dark about everything then you must be a magician.

I didn't ask you for advise on parenting skills. Other than this issue, my kids are very happy and they know they have pretty strict rules here. But as long as they do what is expected of them, i.e. chores and grades, then they get to have the thing such as friends over and their sports. I would even take the sports away if their grades fell.

So on how I am with my kids is not up for debate here. I've done the hiding thing (and still do on the child support and other issues) but this one is their fight that momma is backing them in. They started the fight, I will finish it if I have to.

I think you're doing your kids a grave disservice.



But you go right ahead.

 

[VyRoses]

Congratulations for putting your kids in the middle of an adult situation.

Knock it off.

For THEIR sakes.

Wowzers! you are so pessimistic, she seems to have a great relationship with her children, to be able to have comunication with them like that, good on her. Putting up with a hard headed ex. She's looking for Legal info. And rather your Slamming her parenting. whats that all about Proserina?

 

[Proserpina]

Wowzers! you are so pessimistic, she seems to have a great relationship with her children, to be able to have comunication with them like that, good on her. Putting up with a hard headed ex. She's looking for Legal info. And rather your Slamming her parenting. whats that all about Proserina?

Posting history for this "poster", folks

 

[VyRoses]

Posting history for this "poster", folks

I'v noticed your postings as well sweetheart surfing this site so.. Dido. A true Pessimist, look it up. And I'm no sheep magority is unintimidating. yawn, yawn lady.