NCP allowing inappropriate media

[mommymushbrain]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

My ex, NCP, is allowing our 2 girls, ages 11 and 9, to watch tv, movies, surf the internet and play mature video games, all unsupervised. Mostly they've come home talking about violent things seen.

It was brought to my attention because the girls and I were watching a movie and in it a girl begins to drown. They started laughing like it was the funniest thing ever. And it was a very dramatic scene. I was shocked and horrified at this.

The girls are in counseling, however, their counselor seems to leave a lot to be desired. I understand they are early on in their sessions and trying to build trust.

If I talk to my ex about this, he will cut it off for a week, letting the girls know that I am this horrible person who won't let them watch these kinds of shows. But then it seems to be allowed again.

Any advice on how to get this brought to a forefront issue? Or is this a dad's house/dad's rules thing?

 

[CJane]

Any advice on how to get this brought to a forefront issue? Or is this a dad's house/dad's rules thing?

Dad's house. Dad's rules.

Also, understand that occasionally, laughter is a normal emotional response to something that is not at all funny. Especially in younger kids/pre-teens.

I'm certain that my ex hates that I allow my kids to watch movies/play games/etc that he considers inappropriate. Hated it when we were together and hates it now. He tried to make an issue of me allowing my then 11 year old to go on a summer school trip to see a PG-13 movie. He was quickly informed that it's a non-issue.

Deep breath. Move on.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

My ex, NCP, is allowing our 2 girls, ages 11 and 9, to watch tv, movies, surf the internet and play mature video games, all unsupervised. Mostly they've come home talking about violent things seen.

It was brought to my attention because the girls and I were watching a movie and in it a girl begins to drown. They started laughing like it was the funniest thing ever. And it was a very dramatic scene. I was shocked and horrified at this.

The girls are in counseling, however, their counselor seems to leave a lot to be desired. I understand they are early on in their sessions and trying to build trust.

If I talk to my ex about this, he will cut it off for a week, letting the girls know that I am this horrible person who won't let them watch these kinds of shows. But then it seems to be allowed again.

Any advice on how to get this brought to a forefront issue? Or is this a dad's house/dad's rules thing?

Dad's house. Dad's rules.


You probably wouldn't want Dad interfering with what goes on during your parenting time.

 

[mommymushbrain]

Dad's house. Dad's rules.


You probably wouldn't want Dad interfering with what goes on during your parenting time.

Thanks.

So when do things like these become big issues? I know I have seen so many studies about certain media and its influence on children, specifically horror/gore related stuff.

 

[CJane]

Thanks.

So when do things like these become big issues? I know I have seen so many studies about certain media and its influence on children, specifically horror/gore related stuff.

They don't become big issues.

I've seen a lot of studies about media's effects on children too. I've written a lot of papers on it. And there are just as many, if not more, that show that the effect is overstated and over-dramatized.

He's not FORCING the children to do these things, he's ALLOWING them. If you have a problem with it, talk to the KIDS about it. But expect that they will ignore you and continue indulging in activities you consider inappropriate. That's what kids do.

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks.

So when do things like these become big issues? I know I have seen so many studies about certain media and its influence on children, specifically horror/gore related stuff.

When they're watching porn, snuff movies, that sort of thing.

Seriously Mom - it's a parenting difference.

Unless you can prove that Dad's parenting style is directly harming the kids, it's a non-issue.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I would consider having counseling along with them. The counselor might be able to help reconcile societal norms in terms of you and the girls.

 

[mommymushbrain]

When they're watching porn, snuff movies, that sort of thing.

Seriously Mom - it's a parenting difference.

Unless you can prove that Dad's parenting style is directly harming the kids, it's a non-issue.

Do nightmares count?

As for him forcing them, no he's not. They are just following what is deemed "cool" by their 15 year old halfsister, even though they are scared to death by these things... and then finding inappropriate humor in serious situations.

 

[WittyUserName]

Do nightmares count?

As for him forcing them, no he's not. They are just following what is deemed "cool" by their 15 year old halfsister, even though they are scared to death by these things... and then finding inappropriate humor in serious situations.

My child did this. So I pointed out that she is under no obligation to "follow" anybody. Sooner or later that becomes an important lesson.

 

[mommymushbrain]

My child did this. So I pointed out that she is under no obligation to "follow" anybody. Sooner or later that becomes an important lesson.

I hope it does with the girls. I would have thought the nightmares would have had them not participating in the watching.

 

[CJane]

I hope it does with the girls. I would have thought the nightmares would have had them not participating in the watching.

Some people enjoy horror movies. Even if they have nightmares after, even if they're afraid to sleep w/out a nightlight, even if they still won't let their feet stick out from under the covers at 37 years old.

Honestly.

Get. Over. It.

 

[stealth2]

At the end of the day - is THIS a hill to die on?

 

[Proserpina]

Some people enjoy horror movies. Even if they have nightmares after, even if they're afraid to sleep w/out a nightlight, even if they still won't let their feet stick out from under the covers at 37 years old.

Honestly.

Get. Over. It.

Um..ok, you just described me.

To. A. Tee.


So to speak.

 

[CJane]

Um..ok, you just described me.

To. A. Tee.


So to speak.

Me too.

On the other hand, my kids hate scary movies, and so I end up watching them alone and then making them go outside to get stuff out of the car if it's dark.

 

[frylover]

Me too.

On the other hand, my kids hate scary movies, and so I end up watching them alone and then making them go outside to get stuff out of the car if it's dark.

My 13 year old hates them, too. Too the point that, at a slumber party, she curled up on a couch with a book and read, and covered her ears if it sounded like something scary was coming. Nerdy? Maybe. But my kid also does what feels right for her, not what her friends tell her is cool. So far, anyway. Fingers crossed!