Question

[chronicle]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
In Georgia, if divorced parents have 50/50 custody of children, by mutual agreement that was incorporated into the final divorce, and have had that for over a year, under what circumstances can a parent ask that it be revisited? (I am not happy with the way things are now, but more pressing- I believe my Ex is gearing up to try for 70/30)

The child (8 years) is having many problems in school with school work & behavior- but there is no way to show those problems are a direct result of the 50/50 custody. I believe it is in part due to that- there is a huge difference in the households, and he hasn’t been adjusting well. Would it help to get a counselor’s opinion?

Does any of this matter to a court, or does it just sound petty? The parents do NOT have good communication- ex refuses to communicate with me most of the time (ie- 5 emails over two weeks to try to set a date for parent teacher conference to get one response, or a text about child’s schedule doesn’t get a response until within 10 minutes of the scheduled pickup time) and as recently as November, 2010 he was continuing to post threats and to me online. 50/50 was agreed to because I was told it was what would be ordered if I requested standard visitation and my ex fought that.

Cons on Dad’s side:
Teacher confirms child has been tardy 15 times this year- all on Dad’s days
Teacher confirms homework regularly not completed on Dad’s days (Teacher states this has had significant impact on child’s not keeping up with class.)
Dad utilized 78% of his 50/50 overnights in 2010; less than half in 2009

Cons on My side:
Child has to go to an afterschool program during my weeks- Ex takes him home on his weeks… have no idea if Ex is working or not… history tells me “not”
Child regularly complains about being with me (Daddy doesn’t make me do homework, etc. I admit- there is a very strict structure at my house, there is not at Dad’s)

Please keep me balanced- if these things will sound petty to the court, I’d like to know that. And if Ex tries to overturn 50/50 in his favor, are these good defenses for me?

 

[mistoffolees]

Either of you needs a change in circumstances to even get a hearing on the matter. The fact that the arrangement is inconvenient or uncomfortable isn't going to be sufficient.


It is just barely possible that if the child's school performance has dropped significantly that this could be a change in circumstances. If so, the fact that the teacher has noted that the child doesn't do homework at Dads and shows up late on Dad's days could be a big factor in determining custody. Also, the fact that Dad has not been using all of his nights.

Your issues are not really issues. After school care is not a big deal and probably not a negative. In fact, our school requires the kids to do homework or read quietly for the first hour, so it could even be a positive in helping to get his homework done. And, of course, the child's complaints about doing homework at your house isn't a negative.

If it gets to the point that 50:50 must be changed, in addition to the above, keep evidence (emails, log book, whatever) of your attempts to communicate and Dad's failure to respond. In general, willingness to foster communication with the other parent is one of the things considered in determining custody.

You also have the advantage in that child has been with you more than with Dad for the past 2 years.

I'd suggest that you ask a local attorney who knows the judge and the local climate before doing anything.

 

[LdiJ]

Either of you needs a change in circumstances to even get a hearing on the matter. The fact that the arrangement is inconvenient or uncomfortable isn't going to be sufficient.


It is just barely possible that if the child's school performance has dropped significantly that this could be a change in circumstances. If so, the fact that the teacher has noted that the child doesn't do homework at Dads and shows up late on Dad's days could be a big factor in determining custody. Also, the fact that Dad has not been using all of his nights.

Your issues are not really issues. After school care is not a big deal and probably not a negative. In fact, our school requires the kids to do homework or read quietly for the first hour, so it could even be a positive in helping to get his homework done. And, of course, the child's complaints about doing homework at your house isn't a negative.

If it gets to the point that 50:50 must be changed, in addition to the above, keep evidence (emails, log book, whatever) of your attempts to communicate and Dad's failure to respond. In general, willingness to foster communication with the other parent is one of the things considered in determining custody.

You also have the advantage in that child has been with you more than with Dad for the past 2 years.

I'd suggest that you ask a local attorney who knows the judge and the local climate before doing anything.

I think that the number of tardies and the lack of doing homework during dad's time are the most important factors that mom has in this situation.

Dad's failure to exercise all of his parenting time plus his refusal to communicate also matter, but not as much as the school issues.

I see a definite change in circumstance here due to the above factors...and not in dad's favor.