Verbal agreements?

[Sway]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Calif.

Verbal agreements on child suport

My ex wife an I have NEVER followed our court order on anything (we both benefited from it) an now 10yrs later she changed her story cause my new wife and I bought a house and opens a case with the D.A.

I have an email that says she's only doing this cause we bought a house (its not my income that got the house, its my wifes) and she wants money.

She called me an told me she was doing this, an when I asked her about our agreement she said**************..... its not an agreement unless its on paper.

I then sent her a letter (talking about the agreement we had for many years) along with a check (court ordered amount) and she cashed it.

She had told the D.A. that I have not paid her anything in the past 10yrs, when I have paid her on the agreement we made.

So my question is...
With the letter and check (that she cashed) along with other proof that we had said agreement, do I have any ground to stand on?


Dont get me wrong, I am willing to help suport my kid in any an every way I can. I just dont want to be takin edvantage by an unhappy ex wife that has told lies because she found out that Im happy.

 

[stealth2]

At the end of the day, she's right - the agreement is as good as the paper it's written on. When the court ordered support, it wasn't suggesting an amount or a method of payment. The judge *ordered* you to pay a certain amount, at a certain time, in a certain way.

Had the two of you filed your agreement with the court, you'd be in a very different place. But now? You have a problem. And it is just as much of YOUR making as it is hers.

If I were in your shoes? I'd speak with a local attorney to see if there is any way to mitigate the circumstances, but would expect to pay what I hadn't been paying. Possibly with interest. You MAY be able to get the judge to count the money that you had been giving her - but you will likely be on the hook for at least the difference between what was ordered and what you actually paid.

 

[mistoffolees]

At the end of the day, she's right - the agreement is as good as the paper it's written on. When the court ordered support, it wasn't suggesting an amount or a method of payment. The judge *ordered* you to pay a certain amount, at a certain time, in a certain way.

Had the two of you filed your agreement with the court, you'd be in a very different place. But now? You have a problem. And it is just as much of YOUR making as it is hers.

If I were in your shoes? I'd speak with a local attorney to see if there is any way to mitigate the circumstances, but would expect to pay what I hadn't been paying. Possibly with interest. You MAY be able to get the judge to count the money that you had been giving her - but you will likely be on the hook for at least the difference between what was ordered and what you actually paid.

I agree.

However, there may be more grounds for mitigation than just the amount he paid. It sounds like the verbal agreement was mutually beneficial, so the ex got SOMETHING more than what was in the original agreement. Without knowing what the details are, it's impossible to speculate, but mitigation could involve the ENTIRE scenario, not just the amount of cash paid by OP.

 

[Sway]

If I were in your shoes? I'd speak with a local attorney to see if there is any way to mitigate the circumstances.

I do plan on calling someone today. But wouldnt the check she cashed with the letter prove we didnt have a verbal agreement, or does it just not matter? I thought verbal agreements can hold up in court as long as you can prove it?

 

[momofrose]

I do plan on calling someone today. But wouldnt the check she cashed with the letter prove we didnt have a verbal agreement, or does it just not matter? I thought verbal agreements can hold up in court as long as you can prove it?

Usually no. Any payments made outside of the court irder are considered "gifts". Why in the world would you think o verbal agreement overrides a court order???

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Verbal agreements are worth the paper they are written on.

 

[mistoffolees]

Verbal agreements are worth the paper they are written on.

Sort of.

OP is correct that verbal agreements can be upheld in court - in contract situations. It's obviously a lot harder to prove than if you have a written agreement, but it's done all the time.

Unfortunately, that doesn't apply in child custody and support matters. Verbal agreements have essentially no value at all in family court matters.