Custody issue MD

[yashlier]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

ok so I have two questions and I'm going to just get to the point instead of telling my long drawn out drama filled story

When my ex and I went to court for custody of our daughter he wanted me to sign a consent agreement giving him custody, the night before the hearing he told me if I didn't sign the agreement his attorney was going to request that my other children(not his) removed from my care pending an investigation, for what i never found out because I signed the agreement because I was scared of loosing all of my kids and honestly i didn't have a problem with him having primary custody(I was in a bad position at the time) my problem was that he wanted me to have supervised visits for no reason(I have never been indicated or charged with neglect or abuse) in the agreement we have joint legal custody but he has the final say.

Now my question is was it legal for him to use my other kids to get me to sign the agreement? I would have never signed it had he not done that.
It says that we have Joint legal custody with him having the final say and we have Joint physical custody with him being the primary residence and that I can have every other weekend supervised visits at my parents house.


Now my next question is
The same ex who has custody of my daughter just got his 2nd DUI charge in Maryland and but he also has DUI/DWI(i'm not sure which) in Pennsylvania
Now if he Goes to jail wouldn't my daughter be returned to me? He said that he can sign custody over to his parents and that I have no say in the matter.

I have a ton more questions but these are the most pressing ones. Luckily my daughter spend 90% of her time at her grand parents house so I don't have to worry about him drinking around her.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

ok so I have two questions and I'm going to just get to the point instead of telling my long drawn out drama filled story

When my ex and I went to court for custody of our daughter he wanted me to sign a consent agreement giving him custody, the night before the hearing he told me if I didn't sign the agreement his attorney was going to request that my other children(not his) removed from my care pending an investigation, for what i never found out because I signed the agreement because I was scared of loosing all of my kids and honestly i didn't have a problem with him having primary custody(I was in a bad position at the time) my problem was that he wanted me to have supervised visits for no reason(I have never been indicated or charged with neglect or abuse) in the agreement we have joint legal custody but he has the final say.

Now my question is was it legal for him to use my other kids to get me to sign the agreement? I would have never signed it had he not done that.
It says that we have Joint legal custody with him having the final say and we have Joint physical custody with him being the primary residence and that I can have every other weekend supervised visits at my parents house.


Now my next question is
The same ex who has custody of my daughter just got his 2nd DUI charge in Maryland and but he also has DUI/DWI(i'm not sure which) in Pennsylvania
Now if he Goes to jail wouldn't my daughter be returned to me? He said that he can sign custody over to his parents and that I have no say in the matter.

I have a ton more questions but these are the most pressing ones. Luckily my daughter spend 90% of her time at her grand parents house so I don't have to worry about him drinking around her.

Whether or not he did something wrong in threatening the custody of your other children depends on a lot of factors that are not present here. Obviously you were afraid of something, because you caved in and signed the agreement.

No, he cannot simply sign custody over to his parents. You have joint legal and physical custody therefore the child would go to you if he goes to jail. However, that doesn't mean that his parents wouldn't try to stop you from taking the child. It simply means that they should not win.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

ok so I have two questions and I'm going to just get to the point instead of telling my long drawn out drama filled story

When my ex and I went to court for custody of our daughter he wanted me to sign a consent agreement giving him custody, the night before the hearing he told me if I didn't sign the agreement his attorney was going to request that my other children(not his) removed from my care pending an investigation, for what i never found out because I signed the agreement because I was scared of loosing all of my kids and honestly i didn't have a problem with him having primary custody(I was in a bad position at the time) my problem was that he wanted me to have supervised visits for no reason(I have never been indicated or charged with neglect or abuse) in the agreement we have joint legal custody but he has the final say.

Now my question is was it legal for him to use my other kids to get me to sign the agreement? I would have never signed it had he not done that.
It says that we have Joint legal custody with him having the final say and we have Joint physical custody with him being the primary residence and that I can have every other weekend supervised visits at my parents house.

If I'm understanding your story properly, it's not legal - it's called blackmail.

"I'm going to report you to the authorities unless you sign this agreement giving me custody" is not going to be legal anywhere.

What you could have done (if it's not too late) is gone to the hearing and when he brought up that agreement, you object. Tell the judge that you only signed it because he threatened to file a false report with CPS to try to have your other children taken away. If you withdraw your consent in front of the judge, then the signed agreement would be worthless. If the judge believes that you were blackmailed, it could have serious repercussions.

Of course, if there is truth to the allegations and you are concerned that stbx will report something, then I would suggest that you use it as a wake-up call and fix whatever the problem is. If you're NOT able to care for the kids properly, then they should go to a caregiver who can do so.

Now my next question is
The same ex who has custody of my daughter just got his 2nd DUI charge in Maryland and but he also has DUI/DWI(i'm not sure which) in Pennsylvania
Now if he Goes to jail wouldn't my daughter be returned to me? He said that he can sign custody over to his parents and that I have no say in the matter.

I have a ton more questions but these are the most pressing ones. Luckily my daughter spend 90% of her time at her grand parents house so I don't have to worry about him drinking around her.

As Ld says, if he goes to jail, you should get custody. HOWEVER, since they're spending 90% of their time at the grandparents, it won't be automatic. You will probably need to go to court to get custody -- which might take some time.

If they're spending 90% of their time at the grandparents, you probably should never have agreed to give up custody.

What is the current status of the case? If you have final orders, when were they issued?

 

[yashlier]

Whether or not he did something wrong in threatening the custody of your other children depends on a lot of factors that are not present here. Obviously you were afraid of something, because you caved in and signed the agreement.

No I hadn't done anything wrong I was just scared when it comes to my kids I just panicked and did what he said, thats alway been my biggest fear is having my kids taken from me. My kids are my life. Also correct me if I'm wrong if his attorney knew something wouldn't she have been obligated to report it to CPS?
I still don't have a clue what he was going to say I did I just know he was going to say I did something. Also all of this happened 3 years ago

 

[mistoffolees]

No I hadn't done anything wrong I was just scared when it comes to my kids I just panicked and did what he said, thats alway been my biggest fear is having my kids taken from me. My kids are my life. Also correct me if I'm wrong if his attorney knew something wouldn't she have been obligated to report it to CPS?
I still don't have a clue what he was going to say I did I just know he was going to say I did something. Also all of this happened 3 years ago

Then it's probably a little late do do anything about it.

If he goes to jail, you can file for custody. Other than that, there's probably little you can do.

 

[torimac]

question for seniors...

If the child is spending quite a bit of time at the grandparents, could she not return to court to ask for "right of first refusal" to see her child more?

 

[Isis1]

If the child is spending quite a bit of time at the grandparents, could she not return to court to ask for "right of first refusal" to see her child more?

Depends on how long this has been going on. How long mom knew about it. Too long and the grandparents can be considered primary caretakers based on status quo.

 

[mistoffolees]

If the child is spending quite a bit of time at the grandparents, could she not return to court to ask for "right of first refusal" to see her child more?

It's been 3 years. She's likely to need some change in circumstances to request a change in the order.

 

[LdiJ]

No I hadn't done anything wrong I was just scared when it comes to my kids I just panicked and did what he said, thats alway been my biggest fear is having my kids taken from me. My kids are my life. Also correct me if I'm wrong if his attorney knew something wouldn't she have been obligated to report it to CPS?
I still don't have a clue what he was going to say I did I just know he was going to say I did something. Also all of this happened 3 years ago

Then you simply rolled over and played dead. I know that comes across as offensive but its true. If you had nothing wrong in your life then you should have fought for your child.

 

[CJane]

Then you simply rolled over and played dead. I know that comes across as offensive but its true. If you had nothing wrong in your life then you should have fought for your child.

Except she said she "didn't have a problem" with the x having primary custody. So, yes, she signed the agreement under duress, but it doesn't sound like she had any issues with the substance of the agreement except the supervised visits.

Also, she clearly knows that the child is "living 90% of the time" with the grandparents, and has no issue with that either.

 

[yashlier]

I just recently found out how much time she spends with her grandparents
because he always finds reasons for me not to talk to her or see her.

Like I said in my OP there is a lot of drama, at the time of the hearing I was broke, my husband had lost his job so we had lost our home and I was living with my parents and what my ex didn't know was that I had been kicked out of my parents house the day of the hearing, my life went to crap and I knew it was going to so like i had said in my OP I was in a bad situation and didn't have a problem with her living with him, it's just all of the other unnecessary BS. I was scared and confused.

I have spent the last 2 years putting my life back together for the first year I jumped from place to place and I had my oldest child stay with my parents until I felt we were stable enough for her to live with us again, which will be this summer once schools out since she will have to change schools I figured it would be better to wait until the summer.
I'm not a drug addict or a drinker the only thing really wrong with me is that i'm depressed. My husband opened his own business and we are doing pretty good financially but I don't have money like my ex's parents do.

The bottom line is this I have always put my kids first am I perfect no of course not I had two kids by the time I was 18 and the kicker is I was 16 when I got pregnant with my daughter and my ex was 22


I came here for advise and I feel like I'm being attacked and judged because I obviously must have done something wrong .... right trust me I get that enough.
I screwed up by singing that agreement I know that now and I have spent every minute since wondering what if.
I'm not one of those people who says but there my kids they need to be with me, my life has taught me when to say I need help I'm in over my head and I can't let that hurt them but now I'm truly torn, I miss my daughter like crazy to the point I can't sleep at night, I just don't know what the right thing to do is I just know I don't want him having final say in what she does and does not do because he is not being responsible right now.

 

[mistoffolees]

I just recently found out how much time she spends with her grandparents
because he always finds reasons for me not to talk to her or see her.

As you've been told, it's a HUGE uphill battle because you signed an agreement and didn't take action to change it.

HOWEVER, if the above is true, there is a slight chance that you could get a modification.

If the children only recently started spending most of their time at the grandparents' house (or, possibly, if you just found out about it even though you tried to stay in touch), then that MIGHT be a sufficient change in circumstances to provide grounds for a hearing on visitation and/or custody.

However, it's a long shot, at best. You should speak to a local attorney to get their opinion.

 

[yashlier]

So the fact that he just and I mean in February got a new DUI/DWI charge means nothing thats not enough for anything?

 

[mistoffolees]

So the fact that he just and I mean in February got a new DUI/DWI charge means nothing thats not enough for anything?

A charge is not enough for anything. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.

If there's a conviction, you might have an argument. There are a couple of plausible arguments:
1. If he goes to jail, that's a clear change of circumstances and you could file for custody on that basis.
2. If the children were in the car during his DUI arrests, you could argue for a change in custody on the basis of the children's safety.