Court-Ordered Counseling?

[GoodDadtoBK]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

In a previous thread of mine, it was suggested that I request some kind of court-ordered co-parenting classes/counseling for my ex and I. Is it likely that a Judge would order something like this if the other parent was against it? I suggested this to my ex this weekend and she flat out told me that she will not attend any kind of parenting classes. She told me "she doesn't need to be told how to be a parent to her daughter." I told her I am not questioning her parenting skills, I am simply saying she needs to understand that we are supposed to be parenting together. She just blew me off.

I know she will not agree to this unless it is ordered by the court, and I don't even know if it will really help. I just want to do whatever is necessary to try to make the next 16 years easier on everybody.

Thanks in advance for your help

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

posting hx, folks.

OP, is there a reason that you couldn't add this question to your, what? 5 other threads?

 

[momofrose]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

In a previous thread of mine, it was suggested that I request some kind of court-ordered co-parenting classes/counseling for my ex and I. Is it likely that a Judge would order something like this if the other parent was against it? I suggested this to my ex this weekend and she flat out told me that she will not attend any kind of parenting classes. She told me "she doesn't need to be told how to be a parent to her daughter." I told her I am not questioning her parenting skills, I am simply saying she needs to understand that we are supposed to be parenting together. She just blew me off.

I know she will not agree to this unless it is ordered by the court, and I don't even know if it will really help. I just want to do whatever is necessary to try to make the next 16 years easier on everybody.

Thanks in advance for your help

Just an fyi - my ex and I were also "ordered" to go to parenting classes so we could learn to parent together while not being together - I set up four appointments during the first year and he cancelled every one. I phoned my attorney and was told that he really does not have to and while it is in the court orders, it is barely enforceable.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

posting hx, folks.

OP, is there a reason that you couldn't add this question to your, what? 5 other threads?

Sorry if I have offended you with the number of posts that I have started. I thought it was better to begin a new post each time I had a new question.

 

[Zigner]

Sorry if I have offended you with the number of posts that I have started. I thought it was better to begin a new post each time I had a new question.

Nobody wants to spend their time hunting down every thread you've made in order to get a full view of things.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Sorry if I have offended you with the number of posts that I have started. I thought it was better to begin a new post each time I had a new question.

There's no offense taken, but in order to get the whole picture of your situation, you need to keep your questions TO ONE THREAD...

 

[Bruno]

Could you give a summary of events in this case?

 

[Zigner]

Could you give a summary of events in this case?

No - go to one of his other threads...PLEASE!

 

[mistoffolees]

Just an fyi - my ex and I were also "ordered" to go to parenting classes so we could learn to parent together while not being together - I set up four appointments during the first year and he cancelled every one. I phoned my attorney and was told that he really does not have to and while it is in the court orders, it is barely enforceable.

You don't say what state you're in, but in many states, that clause is easily enforceable.

Granted, the court can't MAKE a parent go to co-parenting classes, but the court can remove their visitation or custodial rights until they do.

In my state, you can forget about primary physical custody unless you take the class (assuming that the other parent hasn't been convicted of abuse or serious neglect).

 

[CSO286]

You don't say what state you're in, but in many states, that clause is easily enforceable.Granted, the court can't MAKE a parent go to co-parenting classes, but the court can remove their visitation or custodial rights until they do.

In my state, you can forget about primary physical custody unless you take the class (assuming that the other parent hasn't been convicted of abuse or serious neglect).

Misto is right...I just left a hearing yesterday where the Judge chastised the NCP (mom) and reduced her parenting time to superivsed until such time as she saw fit to complete the co-parenting course.....(this is MN)

 

[dmcc10880]

If you suggest co-parenting classes in court, the judge may or may not oblige, but it will put you in a better position with the court as a reasonable person. It's not about winning the battles... it's winning the war.

 

[birdbrain53]

OP is in California.

Yes you can ask the judge to order that both parents take a co-parenting class. If ordered both parties will have to submit proof they attended. Usually the person running the co-parent counseling will tell the parties that if one party is uncooperative, that will be in the report to the judge and it can have an influence on visitation/custody.

 

[MichaCA]

I think I was the one who suggested coparent counseling. MY exp. in CA is it is the major default mediators/judges use when its clear the parents do not agree on things.

I suggested as I have heard of cases where its helped. I don't know %'s, however its worth it if there is some chance it will help parents communicate better and lessen conflict. If it doesn't help, you've tried. I have a personal bias that for therapy to work, it takes two willing people.

If you request it, there is a very good chance it will be ordered. IMO I would specify every other week, for six months.

Yes, mom could be held in contempt of the court order, if its ordered and she refuses to go.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

Thanks so much for the additional replies.

I did request that mom be ordered to attend some kind of co-parenting classes and/or counseling. Her responsive declaration says something like "I am a wonderful mother and there is no reason that I need to attend any kind of classes or counseling." What she doesn't understand is that I am not questioning her parenting skills, it's her ability to co-parent that needs improvement. I have taken a couple of classes on my own, but I would be willing to attend counseling with mom to try to make this situation easier.

We go to court on May 16 so I will let you know what happens.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

New problem

About six months ago, my ex was allowed to move about an hour and a half away with our daughter. We share 50/50 custody, however we are completely unable to communicate which makes this situation a nightmare.

I sent her an email two weeks ago telling her it's time to schedule our daughter for her annual physical, as well as her dentist appointment. Mom got a new job, so her medical insurance changed. Our daughter will be switching to a family doctor in mom's area.

In that same email, I told her that I would like to keep her dentist she has here in my area, and would be adding her to my dental insurance ASAP; which I did. The next day I called and scheduled a dentist appt, and right after, I sent mom an email informing her of the appointment.

Yesterday I got an email telling me that our daughter will be going to a dentist in her area, and she has scheduled an appointment for her.. which happens to fall on the day before she already has an appointment here. I called the dentist office that she is trying to take our daughter to, and the appointment was scheduled September 2; more than a week after she was informed of the appointment here.

I know that most things are not hills to die on. Trust me. It has taken me a while, but I have learned to let most things go. I just don't think I can let this go. I am constantly being accused of not taking an active parenting role in mom's court declarations, then she pulls something like this. I also asked her to consider rescheduling the physical appointment to a day I would be able to attend and she said no. She doesn't have to, so she isn't going to. She is doing everything she can to try to push me out of our daughter's life.

I have asked the court for ordered co-parenting classes / counseling, and they basically ignored the request. Mom's answer to everything with me is "if you don't like it, take me to court."

Any advice on what I should do about the dentist appointment?