Parents Right & Runaway Teen

[lynngreen13]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee
What are the parents rights when their 17 yr old continues to run away? My friends daughter has run away six times and will get picked up, be given a harsh talking to by the judge and released. The last time she ran the police found her in a vacant house with a 19 yr old boy doing drugs. My friend has tried to get her daughter therapy but she runs before her apointment date. My friend has missed so much time from work for court that she is in danger of losing her job. She asked me tonight "What are my rights" ???

 

[mistoffolees]

A 17 year old doesn't have the right to run away. You can keep dragging her in front of a judge. Or you can seek professional help. Even if she won't go to the appointment, YOU should go - and learn how you can most reasonably deal with it.

If you can demonstrate that she's a danger to herself, you could possibly also have her committed - although you should talk with the professional before even thinking about that.

At 17, you have a balancing act. In a year, she'll be an adult and can disappear from your life forever if she objects too much to what you do this year. OTOH, you're still the parent and responsible for setting rules and discipline and ensuring her safety. It's WAY easier if the rules and discipline are in place much younger - trying to enforce rules at 17 (when there's apparently no respect or discipline on her part) is hard - which is why I suggest that you talk with a professional.

One last thought. I'm not suggesting for a minute that you back down because I obviously don't know the facts. Nor am I suggesting that you're wrong. But let me tell you a story. My ex threw her 17 year old daughter out of the house when the daughter got a second set of earrings pierced into her ears against Mom's wishes. Mom told her to get out of her life forever and she didn't want to see her. Fortunately, I was home and followed the girl down the back roads where she was walking and eventually got her back home and settled things down. Now the daughter was a straight A student (eventually went on to get a free ride at college AND graduate school) and never got in any serious trouble, but Mom's expectations were totally unreasonable. Ask yourself if you're giving a 17 year old the respect and responsibility that she should have.

 

[lynngreen13]

Thank you...I will pass this along to my friend.

 

[davidmcbeth3]

A 17 year old doesn't have the right to run away. You can keep dragging her in front of a judge. Or you can seek professional help. Even if she won't go to the appointment, YOU should go - and learn how you can most reasonably deal with it.

If you can demonstrate that she's a danger to herself, you could possibly also have her committed - although you should talk with the professional before even thinking about that.

At 17, you have a balancing act. In a year, she'll be an adult and can disappear from your life forever if she objects too much to what you do this year. OTOH, you're still the parent and responsible for setting rules and discipline and ensuring her safety. It's WAY easier if the rules and discipline are in place much younger - trying to enforce rules at 17 (when there's apparently no respect or discipline on her part) is hard - which is why I suggest that you talk with a professional.

One last thought. I'm not suggesting for a minute that you back down because I obviously don't know the facts. Nor am I suggesting that you're wrong. But let me tell you a story. My ex threw her 17 year old daughter out of the house when the daughter got a second set of earrings pierced into her ears against Mom's wishes. Mom told her to get out of her life forever and she didn't want to see her. Fortunately, I was home and followed the girl down the back roads where she was walking and eventually got her back home and settled things down. Now the daughter was a straight A student (eventually went on to get a free ride at college AND graduate school) and never got in any serious trouble, but Mom's expectations were totally unreasonable. Ask yourself if you're giving a 17 year old the respect and responsibility that she should have.

Sounds like the mom straightened her out good...she should write a book (then we'll see 17yr olds roaming the streets at night)

 

[mistoffolees]

Sounds like the mom straightened her out good...she should write a book (then we'll see 17yr olds roaming the streets at night)

Please whack yourself on the head with a 2 by 4 - it will save me the trouble of doing so.

The girl was always a great student and good kid. Her mother's abuse didn't 'fix' anything. In fact, it did just what a rational person would guess - it put a major wedge between Mom and Child that has never been fully repaired.