Won Legal and Physical custody of minor child

[microbes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

Last week, my divorce and custody was finalized and I was awarded Full Legal and Physical custody of my minor son.

What legal rights does the non-legal/non-custodial parent have at this point? She's causing so much problems for me now 'cuz she doesn't seem to get it, fact is, she thinks she has more rights now.

The judgement was given last Thursday but was not put into order due to time constraints. My attorney then consulted with my x-wife for a date to come back to get the order put in and she chose a date 5-6 weeks away. My attorney advised her and I that due to the order not being but put in place, that I am to follow the most recent order prior to this one.

1) The courts granted me full legal and physical custody
2) Child support of $75/month (you read it right)... my daycare expenses alone are over a G.

She was given:
1) Unsupervised visitations every Saturday for 8 hours and I am solely responsible for transportation.

The judge told me that I should increase it to an overnight visit when I'm comfortable.

2) She was told by the judge to specifically NOT take our minor child to the doctor and that if there is an emergency, to call 911.


I also scheduled all phone calls within an hour window everyday.

I am also thinking of concluding my attorney's services as I cant afford him any longer. Plus every time my ex-wife wants to complain about me, she calls my attorney and my attorney in turn charges me for all these nonsensical complaints.

My other question is, if I am to represent myself from here on out, what challenges should I expect? Are there any good guides on the Internet or the bookstore that I can purchase to assist me in protecting my rights as the rightful legal and physical custodian?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

Last week, my divorce and custody was finalized and I was awarded Full Legal and Physical custody of my minor son.

What legal rights does the non-legal/non-custodial parent have at this point? She's causing so much problems for me now 'cuz she doesn't seem to get it, fact is, she thinks she has more rights now.

The judgement was given last Thursday but was not put into order due to time constraints. My attorney then consulted with my x-wife for a date to come back to get the order put in and she chose a date 5-6 weeks away. My attorney advised her and I that due to the order not being but put in place, that I am to follow the most recent order prior to this one.

1) The courts granted me full legal and physical custody
2) Child support of $75/month (you read it right)... my daycare expenses alone are over a G.

She was given:
1) Unsupervised visitations every Saturday for 8 hours and I am solely responsible for transportation.

The judge told me that I should increase it to an overnight visit when I'm comfortable.

2) She was told by the judge to specifically NOT take our minor child to the doctor and that if there is an emergency, to call 911.


I also scheduled all phone calls within an hour window everyday.

I am also thinking of concluding my attorney's services as I cant afford him any longer. Plus every time my ex-wife wants to complain about me, she calls my attorney and my attorney in turn charges me for all these nonsensical complaints.

My other question is, if I am to represent myself from here on out, what challenges should I expect? Are there any good guides on the Internet or the bookstore that I can purchase to assist me in protecting my rights as the rightful legal and physical custodian?

What you have to do is follow the court order to the letter. If it were me, I'd follow the new court order - even though you don't have it in writing, but if your attorney says to follow the old one, that's the one to follow. Do everything it says. Both you and your ex have exactly the same rights - to do everything that the court order says.

As for CS? That's the way the system works. There are just as many people here complaining "I pay $1,000 per month and I know he/she doesn't spend that much on the kids". Each state has a formula. It's not perfect, but it is what it is.

Your attorney? I'd leave instructions for them not to take any calls from your ex because you won't pay for them. Since you're at the end, I don't think I'd terminate the relationship at this point. You've gone through most of the cost, why mess it up at the end?

As an aside, I really hate judge's orders that say "CP can increase NCP's visits to overnight when he/she is comfortable". That sort of thing should not be left to the discretion of one or the other parent - it's almost certain to cause conflict. Rather, something like "when NCP has exercised 10 scheduled visitation periods in a row, he/she will be entitled to begin overnight visitation scheduled as**************"

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If you don't want your attorney taking any phone calls from your X, you must put that request in WRITING to them. Be very specific. You can' always "fire" the attorney until before a next court date. Therefore, your X can't communicate with him/her.

 

[microbes]

What you have to do is follow the court order to the letter. If it were me, I'd follow the new court order - even though you don't have it in writing, but if your attorney says to follow the old one, that's the one to follow. Do everything it says. Both you and your ex have exactly the same rights - to do everything that the court order says.

I did a little research... Is it not true then that she is only entitled to:

(13) "Residual parental rights and responsibilities" means those rights and responsibilities remaining with the parent after the transfer of legal custody or guardianship of the person, including, but not necessarily limited to, the right to reasonable visitation (which may be limited by the court in the best interests of the minor as provided in subsection (8)(b) of this Section), the right to consent to adoption, the right to determine the minor's religious affiliation, and the responsibility for his support.[5]

'cuz if we both have the same exact rights then what was the point to the whole process.

 

[Silverplum]

I did a little research... Is it not true then that she is only entitled to:

(13) "Residual parental rights and responsibilities" means those rights and responsibilities remaining with the parent after the transfer of legal custody or guardianship of the person, including, but not necessarily limited to, the right to reasonable visitation (which may be limited by the court in the best interests of the minor as provided in subsection (8)(b) of this Section), the right to consent to adoption, the right to determine the minor's religious affiliation, and the responsibility for his support.[5]

'cuz if we both have the same exact rights then what was the point to the whole process.

I don't know why you have these big strong feelings that she should not be involved with her child and that you hold all the power, but you're wrong.

One of the primary duties of the custodial parent is to facilitate the relationship between the child/ren and the noncustodial parent. Your attitude is not beneficial.

 

[mistoffolees]

I did a little research... Is it not true then that she is only entitled to:

(13) "Residual parental rights and responsibilities" means those rights and responsibilities remaining with the parent after the transfer of legal custody or guardianship of the person, including, but not necessarily limited to, the right to reasonable visitation (which may be limited by the court in the best interests of the minor as provided in subsection (8)(b) of this Section), the right to consent to adoption, the right to determine the minor's religious affiliation, and the responsibility for his support.[5]

'cuz if we both have the same exact rights then what was the point to the whole process.

Perhaps you have difficulty understanding the posts, so I'll repeat what I said earlier:

What you have to do is follow the court order to the letter.
What you have to do is follow the court order to the letter.
What you have to do is follow the court order to the letter.
What you have to do is follow the court order to the letter.

If the court order assigns ex visitation, then you have to honor that.

You also have to follow the other parts of the court order and default instructions - including supporting the relationship between your ex and the child.

 

[stealth2]

Uuuh misto... Does he have to follow the court order to the letter?

 

[CJane]

I'm always curious what people believe "sole custody" to actually mean, when they're seeking it. They always seem so disappointed when they find out it didn't completely remove the other parent from their world.

 

[mistoffolees]

I'm always curious what people believe "sole custody" to actually mean, when they're seeking it. They always seem so disappointed when they find out it didn't completely remove the other parent from their world.

Yep. A lot of people say 'sole custody' when the order actually says 'primary physical custody'. There's a lot of confusion - which is why I tell them to follow the order exactly with no interpretation. If they don't understand it, they should seek counsel.

 

[CJane]

Yep. A lot of people say 'sole custody' when the order actually says 'primary physical custody'. There's a lot of confusion - which is why I tell them to follow the order exactly with no interpretation. If they don't understand it, they should seek counsel.

Yes, but that's not what I meant.

I'm curious what these posters think the actual definition of "sole custody" IS. Because I don't think any of them KNOW while they're seeking it, or lamenting the award of it to the other parent, or whatever, what rights/obligations it actually confers to the "custodian" over the other parent.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, but that's not what I meant.

I'm curious what these posters think the actual definition of "sole custody" IS. Because I don't think any of them KNOW while they're seeking it, or lamenting the award of it to the other parent, or whatever, what rights/obligations it actually confers to the "custodian" over the other parent.

(I realize I'm stating the obvious to those who know - so please excuse that! )


"Sole custody" = "It's all up to me, period. The other parent is at my mercy".

That's truly what I believe many people think "sole custody" confers.

 

[mistoffolees]

(I realize I'm stating the obvious to those who know - so please excuse that! )


"Sole custody" = "It's all up to me, period. The other parent is at my mercy".

That's truly what I believe many people think "sole custody" confers.

Unfortunately.