Summer School

[luvisabattle]

It makes sense that I should be handling the root of the problem - not doing well in school is one of the symptoms.

I know you all have said this before. We are going to mediation soon, so a lot of the conflict should be ending.

 

[luvisabattle]

I think mom needs to allow dad to have his parenting time with his daughter as ordered by the court. After all, summer school is a "recommendation" and not a requirement.

It almost looks to me like mom is trying to find something to get between dad and daughter time together.

"Dad" is a com pilot and rarely home, so I cant prevent something that doesn't happen in the first place.

But I admit I feel that the less time she's in their home the better.

 

[Antigone*]

"Dad" is a com pilot and rarely home, so I cant prevent something that doesn't happen in the first place.

But I admit I feel that the less time she's in their home the better.

So much for fostering the parent/child between dad and daughter.

Sad to say luv, your true colors are now showing.

 

[SESmama]

However, she did state that she was willing to have daughter go on her vacation time (of 4 weeks).

AND if you are not getting your full 4 weeks then it is on you to file contempt and ask for the missed time made up.

 

[luvisabattle]

(for Antigone) I suppose if I was one of the mother's who is willing to hand thier children over to known abusers and something horrible happens, you would say that was bad parenting too.

you don't know the whole story and so are not qualified to make that judgement.

 

[luvisabattle]

However, she did state that she was willing to have daughter go on her vacation time (of 4 weeks).

AND if you are not getting your full 4 weeks then it is on you to file contempt and ask for the missed time made up.

I'm planning on covering that in mediation. Every residential date will be specified.

 

[mistoffolees]

(for Antigone) I suppose if I was one of the mother's who is willing to hand thier children over to known abusers and something horrible happens, you would say that was bad parenting too.

you don't know the whole story and so are not qualified to make that judgement.

So he only became a 'known abuser' after you didn't get the answers you wanted.

Figures.

 

[reportermom]

Our duaghter is struggling in school. She was tested for Special Ed a few months ago. She came out average. 99 is average and she tested 102 - 107, but is still behind because our district teaches above average.

Luv,

Although this is a good district that teaches above average, it may not be the best school for your child.

She may be unmotivated because she feels that no matter how hard she tries she will not be as good as the other children. She may also need to be shown that she can be good at school, which would help to build her self esteem.
It may be that the WAY that they teach doesn't jive well with the way her brain works. Different things work for different children.

Attending summer school will not change her performance next year. She will still be an average child in a school that expects above average performance.

Sylvan might be good for her. If you approach it from the stand point of what can you teach my child to help her be more successful NEXT year in school. That approach would require you to be present and engaged in the first meeting with Sylvan where they go over what the child is there for help with.

This could be an opportunity for your daughter to learn that she is capable and able of everything and anything. But you have to allow her the chance to learn in her own way.

You may not be able to control how much time and attention that daughter gets from Dad at his house, but you can set her up for success so that she can see her own worth. Allow her to attend Sylvan and learn what she can from them. She will not be harmed by learning from new teachers, it may help her immensely.

 

[luvisabattle]

So he only became a 'known abuser' after you didn't get the answers you wanted.

Figures.

(?) I thought you gave good advice, so I'm not sure what you are refering to.

Antigone is commenting on a seperate subject.

And yes, "Dad" has a child abuse case against him. Not against our child - against his step-son.

I was told by the courts that I have to wait for him to do something to HER before I can take any action against him legally.

 

[luvisabattle]

Luv,

Although this is a good district that teaches above average, it may not be the best school for your child.

She may be unmotivated because she feels that no matter how hard she tries she will not be as good as the other children. She may also need to be shown that she can be good at school, which would help to build her self esteem.
It may be that the WAY that they teach doesn't jive well with the way her brain works. Different things work for different children.

Attending summer school will not change her performance next year. She will still be an average child in a school that expects above average performance.

Sylvan might be good for her. If you approach it from the stand point of what can you teach my child to help her be more successful NEXT year in school. That approach would require you to be present and engaged in the first meeting with Sylvan where they go over what the child is there for help with.

This could be an opportunity for your daughter to learn that she is capable and able of everything and anything. But you have to allow her the chance to learn in her own way.

You may not be able to control how much time and attention that daughter gets from Dad at his house, but you can set her up for success so that she can see her own worth. Allow her to attend Sylvan and learn what she can from them. She will not be harmed by learning from new teachers, it may help her immensely.

That makes sense. I did talk to Sylvan earlier today and it does sound like a great program. And the father said it was something he would consider so if he agreed on Sylvan at least that fight would be over. Maybe we could do math only to cut the expense. Thanks - you were very helpful.

 

[Antigone*]

(?) I thought you gave good advice, so I'm not sure what you are refering to.

Antigone is commenting on a seperate subject.

And yes, "Dad" has a child abuse case against him. Not against our child - against his step-son.

I was told by the courts that I have to wait for him to do something to HER before I can take any action against him legally.

I am not commenting on a separate subject. I am commenting on this subject.

You need to step back and read your post from the view of someone who does not have a vested interest.

You ask for help, but when you don't like the answers you call them a judgement. So fine ~ my judgement is this: Don't impede on Dad's parenting no matter what is vocation is. Well heck, maybe dad thinks your house is not the best place for his daughter either. At this point neither of your opinions of the other should matter when it comes to your daughter. In fact she shouldn't know what you really think of him.

All she should know is that her time with dad is sacred just as your time with her is sacred. She should know that you will do everything you need to do to foster that relationship. What he does or doesn't do is not within your control. If he doesn't hold your parenting time sacred, then do something about it ~ use the tools afforded to you by way of your court order.

Lastly don't come here telling a volunteer you don't know the whole story when you haven't put the whole story out there. I gave you my opinion and my opinion, as objective as it is stands.

 

[torimac]

school alternatives

I also had a child that had problems with school and hated it. She went to summer school and learned very little. After talking to the school, they were only able to tell me that the topics covered where the ones kids commonly needed help with. There was no assurance that it was actually going to help my daughter, but I put her in the program to try it. She learned very little, except for a lot of new swear words.

I looked at putting her into Sylvan. We had just moved and there was a Sylvan nearby. The new school saw she was struggling and had her tested. It turned out that she had two problems: dysgraphia and she was behind in Mathematics. Sylvan really could not address both.

The school is helping with the dysgraphia issues. I have her enrolled in Mathenasium to help her with the Math issues. Between the academic help and therapy, she is definitely more confident in school.

While Sylvan may be the answer, you need to make sure you know what the problems are and that Sylvan can actually address them. Same with the summer school program.

 

[Nikki Green]

What's the alternative? What ever would be best is what I want for her, her teacher has recommended that this would be best - I'm looking for input.

She's my only child and I'm new to this. Any advice is helpful.

The following is not legal advice, but it is from someone who used to hate school and lack motivation. I don't have kids, but this is something I wish my parents were able to do for me.

One day, take her to a science museum. Next day to an amusement park. Next day, an aquarium. You get the idea?

This will stimulate different parts of her brain, and make her more curious about the world around her. At the same time, this will allow her to relax and enjoy her childhood.

Bottom line, if she associates learning with fun, if she is curious about the world, and how things work, and you lovingly encourage her, I think things may turn out for the best...

 

[Just Blue]

The following is not legal advice, but it is from someone who used to hate school and lack motivation. I don't have kids, but this is something I wish my parents were able to do for me.

One day, take her to a science museum. Next day to an amusement park. Next day, an aquarium. You get the idea?

This will stimulate different parts of her brain, and make her more curious about the world around her. At the same time, this will allow her to relax and enjoy her childhood.

Bottom line, if she associates learning with fun, if she is curious about the world, and how things work, and you lovingly encourage her, I think things may turn out for the best...

This is very good advice. Not legal, but they luv's issue is not a legal one.

Luv: It is pretty apparent that you view co-parenting as a battle...hence your user name...Please stop. For you child's sake. Stop.

 

[stealth2]

I also have to agree with Nikki. But - this is something that should be done for ALL children, to the extent possible given various circumstances. I was extremely lucky to have my parents not only local, but also willing and able to take the kids various places if I couldn't. There were always trips planned to museums, the aquarium, the zoo, nature walks, concerts (of various genres), etc. They have a literal library at home, with most of the world's great literary works, and no book has ever been off limits. My Mom, in particular, has always made a point of reading whatever they read (be it for school or pleasure) to create possibilities for discussion, as well as always being willing to listen to whatever music they liked at the moment - she didn't like it all, but she did find some stuff that gave her something to think about. It has resulted in two young adults who love learning, and can carry on intelligent conversations on many and varied topics. Most kids are capable of this - they just need the exposure.