Is it EOW or 1x month?

[CJane]

Oops...I am used to viewing Mother's Day as the second weekend. But its not, its the second Sunday.

Me too. The only reason I know that it's quite often NOT the second "weekend" is because last year and this year it fell on/will fall on Ex's weekend. So, I'll get his Sunday.

 

[LdiJ]

Correct, he has only taken her on a 1st, 3rd, or 5th weekend. Never a 2nd or 4th.

Unless dad elects the alternative period of weekend possession described in the next paragraph, dad shall have right of possession of the child on weekends beginning 6pm on 1st, 3rd, 5th.

Alternate weekend possession: In lieu of the weekend possession described int he foregoing paragraph, dad shall have the right to possession of the child not more than one weekend a month of dad's choice. He may elect an option for this alternative period of weekend possession by giving mom written notice with 90 days after the parties begin to reside more than 100 miles apart. The weekends chosen shall not conflict with provisions regarding Christmas, Thanksgiving, the child's birthday, and Mother's Day weekend.

If he is not trying to take Mother's Day weekend, then what is the big deal? yes, I realize that he is supposed to give you 90 days notice if he isn't exercising the 1st, 3rd, or 5th, but why is it an issue for him to take the 2nd weekend if Mother's Day weekend is the 1st weekend? Do you already have plans? Is there something important going on?

No, he really cannot just take any weekend he wants, but if he is only taking one weekend a month as long as its not going to interfere with something important, why make an issue of it? I am not being snarky about it, I am asking you to make us understand why its a problem.

I could understand if you always leave the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends open and only make plans on the 2nd and 4th, but otherwise you may be over-worrying the issue.

 

[Zigner]

The 90 days notice is out the window, as it's been the way it's been done for 3 years now. All of a sudden, OP wants to say "He never sent me a letter 3 years ago, so how can I know how he wants to do things?"

Petty and (say it with me) - SELFISH.

 

[BorninTx]

So, what's your problem then?

You really are ticked that he wants to use the 2nd weekend since you "get" the first weekend for Mother's Day?

Seriously?

ETA: Was this an issue last year (2010) when Mother's Day was also on the first weekend?

Have you, for the past 3 years, just kept the 1st/3rd/5th weekends open in case Dad shows up?

Mother's Day was on the second weekend last year so it wasn't an issue. For the past 3 years 1st, 3rd, 5th have been open in case he sends me a letter at the last minute saying who will be picking her up.

My issue with the second weekend is she's got a recital that is paid for, and it has not ever been a weekend that he has taken. Strictly the 1/3/5.

 

[LdiJ]

Mother's Day was on the second weekend last year so it wasn't an issue. For the past 3 years 1st, 3rd, 5th have been open in case he sends me a letter at the last minute saying who will be picking her up.

My issue with the second weekend is she's got a recital that is paid for, and it has not ever been a weekend that he has taken. Strictly the 1/3/5.

Ok, then I can understand your concern. You have always left the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends open in case he chose to exercise them, and there is something planned for the 2nd weekend in May.

He cannot argue with you about the 1st weekend because its Mother's Day weekend and that is clearly your holiday. He is being a bit of a jerk arguing with you about the 2nd weekend since there is already a recital planned and paid for.

Its up to you whether or not you want to stick to your guns about the 2nd weekend. The status quo is that dad has never attempted to exercise anything but the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends, Mother's Day weekend is your holiday and you have something planned and paid for, for the 2nd weekend.

You certainly cannot be held in contempt, you HAVE NOT waived the 90 days notice as other posters have implied, and dad still has the option to exercise the 3rd weekend.

That is the correct LEGAL answer to your question. Holidays consistantly interrupt regular weekend visitation in pretty much everyone's co-parenting schedules and legally holidays pre-empt regular weekend visitation.

A parent cannot be held in contempt for sticking to court orders. I have been a little suprised at how many responses to various posters today, seem to imply differently.

 

[CJane]

Mother's Day was on the second weekend last year so it wasn't an issue.

Your order defines weekends as beginning on Saturday?

My issue with the second weekend is she's got a recital that is paid for, and it has not ever been a weekend that he has taken. Strictly the 1/3/5.

So really, your original question should have been "My ex wishes to exercise the 2nd weekend in May as his weekend, even though he's only ordered to use the 1st/3rd/5th weekends, and we've historically stuck to that. This wouldn't normally be an issue, because I do try to be flexible with him, however, my daughter has a recital that weekend, and it's already paid for. Am I being unreasonable?"

But that's not what you asked. At all.

 

[BorninTx]

K. Thanks, that's what I wanted to know. I'm sending her on Mother's day because he told me if I don't send her either the first or second weekend, he will take me to court. So I would rather her go to her recital, and save myself all the baloney of court.

Sorry CJane. I just wanted to know which weekend schedule we're supposed to go by. I'll try to not be so confusing next time. Our weekends start on Friday.

 

[LdiJ]

K. Thanks, that's what I wanted to know. I'm sending her on Mother's day because he told me if I don't send her either the first or second weekend, he will take me to court. So I would rather her go to her recital, and save myself all the baloney of court.

Sorry CJane. I just wanted to know which weekend schedule we're supposed to go by. I'll try to not be so confusing next time. Our weekends start on Friday.

You REALLY do NOT have to do that. If he took you to court over the issue he would get his butt handed to him by a judge. I am not even sure that you should set a precedence of him being able to bully you into giving him one of your holidays to keep him from taking you to court.

 

[CJane]

K. Thanks, that's what I wanted to know. I'm sending her on Mother's day because he told me if I don't send her either the first or second weekend, he will take me to court. So I would rather her go to her recital, and save myself all the baloney of court.

Sorry CJane. I just wanted to know which weekend schedule we're supposed to go by. I'll try to not be so confusing next time. Our weekends start on Friday.

If your weekends start on Friday, Mother's Day was a first weekend last year too. Which is why I asked how it was handled.

That actually would have been one of the times when there was a 5th weekend (April) because April 30 was a Friday. So April 30, May 1 and May 2 were weekend 5.

Weekend 1 in May was May 6-8, which is when Mother's Day fell.

This year is exactly the same situation.

This will be a potential issue again in 2016. Might want to plan for that now.

 

[Silverplum]

But that's not what you asked. At all.

I always wonder why.

 

[BorninTx]

If your weekends start on Friday, Mother's Day was a first weekend last year too. Which is why I asked how it was handled.

That actually would have been one of the times when there was a 5th weekend (April) because April 30 was a Friday. So April 30, May 1 and May 2 were weekend 5.

Weekend 1 in May was May 6-8, which is when Mother's Day fell.

This year is exactly the same situation.

This will be a potential issue again in 2016. Might want to plan for that now.

He took her the 3rd weekend last year.

 

[stealth2]

I realize this is an out-there idea, but... why not allow Dad to take the kiddo to the recital?

 

[BorninTx]

I realize this is an out-there idea, but... why not allow Dad to take the kiddo to the recital?

I offered that *but* he doesn't want to drive 5 hours down here or miss work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And his mom is closer, I offered for her to take her to it, then take her back to her house and he didn't want to do that either.