cmkingstrom
Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN
I have two children with my ex. I have full legal and sole custody. He has EOW and EOH. The children are nine and eleven.
He lives in a largely populated city and I live in a small, rural farm town. We live two hours away from each other.
When the children were last with their father, he allowed them to travel on bike, approximately four blocks out of viewing distance to a park, unattended. This park is within one mile of a major highway exit to three freeway junctions. He allowed them to go there, unsupervised for 40 minutes.
In the past, I have been made aware of this, and expressed deep concern of them going to a park unsupervised. I pleaded with him to just go with the kids, as he only sees them twice a month (if his schedule allows). The last time this occured, he promised me he would not do it again. However, he did, even as the children protested and insisted he come with them.
When I confronted him about this, he claimed, and I quote "going to the park is really boring for me and there is nothing for me to do, why should I go?"
I am concerned about the children traveling to a park unattended. I have in the past, discovered that he lives within a twenty mile vincinty of five registered sex offenders. He claims he lives in a "safe" area and all the other parents at the park "keep an eye" on the children, albeit he doesn't even know the other parents, but live within the same townhome community as he does.
Am I being overly concerned about this or are there some rules or regulations that he should consider when allowing younger children to go to the park that far away. I might not be as concerned if he could see them through a window, but there are several townhome complexes that block any form of a view to the park.
Do I need to contact an attorney for such concerns and bring it to the attention of a judge? I live in a nice, small town where we all know each other, but I still do not allow my children to play at the park unattended. Children disappear every day and I just believe he is taking a risk when he allows them to go this far with no one watching them.
Also, my 11 is a girl and my nine year old is a boy and have requested their own bedrooms in their father's home while they visit. (He has four bedrooms and no other children in his home) and he claims it is not neccessary for them. While I agree that the children are not there often enough for this to be a serious issue, I cannot help but wonder if it is deemed appropriate in a judges eyes that they are still sharing a room? In my home, they have their own bedrooms. Is this an area I should be concerned with?
Finally, the children are both getting to the age where there are many birthday parties, extra cicuricular activities, extended school functions and sports they have shown interests in, as well as a desire to enter 4H. My ex claims they are not allowed to attend such functions as they interfere with his visitation schedule. Are they at an age where they can decide what they want to do? It is frustrating having to deny them attendance to a birthday party or lock in at a school or church because of a visit with their father. And sports or other activities for that matter. My current husband and I had them in Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts last year, but my ex protested so much about it that he guilted the children into quitting because he said it wasn't fair for them to be away from them. While I believe they should have a relationship with their father, I also believe they should be allowed to join activities that interest them. Their father certainly has no quealms about canceling a visit for a camping trip with the boys in Colorado for a week, or canceling a visit because a friend is having a bachelor party, but insists his children dare not cancel visits.
Does all this need to be brought to an attorney or can the kids simply say "I don't want to come this weekend, dad, I have plans"??
I apologize for the length, I wanted to get as much information into one post as possible.
Thank you for your help.
I have two children with my ex. I have full legal and sole custody. He has EOW and EOH. The children are nine and eleven.
He lives in a largely populated city and I live in a small, rural farm town. We live two hours away from each other.
When the children were last with their father, he allowed them to travel on bike, approximately four blocks out of viewing distance to a park, unattended. This park is within one mile of a major highway exit to three freeway junctions. He allowed them to go there, unsupervised for 40 minutes.
In the past, I have been made aware of this, and expressed deep concern of them going to a park unsupervised. I pleaded with him to just go with the kids, as he only sees them twice a month (if his schedule allows). The last time this occured, he promised me he would not do it again. However, he did, even as the children protested and insisted he come with them.
When I confronted him about this, he claimed, and I quote "going to the park is really boring for me and there is nothing for me to do, why should I go?"
I am concerned about the children traveling to a park unattended. I have in the past, discovered that he lives within a twenty mile vincinty of five registered sex offenders. He claims he lives in a "safe" area and all the other parents at the park "keep an eye" on the children, albeit he doesn't even know the other parents, but live within the same townhome community as he does.
Am I being overly concerned about this or are there some rules or regulations that he should consider when allowing younger children to go to the park that far away. I might not be as concerned if he could see them through a window, but there are several townhome complexes that block any form of a view to the park.
Do I need to contact an attorney for such concerns and bring it to the attention of a judge? I live in a nice, small town where we all know each other, but I still do not allow my children to play at the park unattended. Children disappear every day and I just believe he is taking a risk when he allows them to go this far with no one watching them.
Also, my 11 is a girl and my nine year old is a boy and have requested their own bedrooms in their father's home while they visit. (He has four bedrooms and no other children in his home) and he claims it is not neccessary for them. While I agree that the children are not there often enough for this to be a serious issue, I cannot help but wonder if it is deemed appropriate in a judges eyes that they are still sharing a room? In my home, they have their own bedrooms. Is this an area I should be concerned with?
Finally, the children are both getting to the age where there are many birthday parties, extra cicuricular activities, extended school functions and sports they have shown interests in, as well as a desire to enter 4H. My ex claims they are not allowed to attend such functions as they interfere with his visitation schedule. Are they at an age where they can decide what they want to do? It is frustrating having to deny them attendance to a birthday party or lock in at a school or church because of a visit with their father. And sports or other activities for that matter. My current husband and I had them in Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts last year, but my ex protested so much about it that he guilted the children into quitting because he said it wasn't fair for them to be away from them. While I believe they should have a relationship with their father, I also believe they should be allowed to join activities that interest them. Their father certainly has no quealms about canceling a visit for a camping trip with the boys in Colorado for a week, or canceling a visit because a friend is having a bachelor party, but insists his children dare not cancel visits.
Does all this need to be brought to an attorney or can the kids simply say "I don't want to come this weekend, dad, I have plans"??
I apologize for the length, I wanted to get as much information into one post as possible.
Thank you for your help.
