Ongoing harrassment...any recourse?

[hspivey]

My sons best friend, (I'll refer to him as "D") who lives in a different city and attends a different school, lives with his mom, his sister, his brother... as well as his moms boyfriend, and sometimes the boyfriends 2 kids (from 2 separate mothers).

Recently, one of the boyfriends kids complained to his mother that he was being harrassed/tormented by "D" and that my son had been present at the time(s) as well. The police (and DHS) interviewed the two. "D" was removed from his home by Child Services and issued a citation where he has to appear in court. My son was issued a lesser "harrassment" citation (for basically being in the wrong place at the wrong time, per the detective) and had no follow up responsibilitites.

Now, the other (younger) son is also making allegations (to his mom) and the police want to meet with us yet again.

I feel this is a domestic issue between the two moms and the dad and that the kids are being encouraged to make unfounded complaints. Unfortunately, because "D" and my son are best friends (and my son spends much of his free time over there), he is being dragged into it too.

My question...do I have any recourse against the families that are making the continuous (unfounded) allegations?

 

[Antigone*]

My sons best friend, (I'll refer to him as "D") who lives in a different city and attends a different school, lives with his mom, his sister, his brother... as well as his moms boyfriend, and sometimes the boyfriends 2 kids (from 2 separate mothers).

Recently, one of the boyfriends kids complained to his mother that he was being harrassed/tormented by "D" and that my son had been present at the time(s) as well. The police (and DHS) interviewed the two. "D" was removed from his home by Child Services and issued a citation where he has to appear in court. My son was issued a lesser "harrassment" citation (for basically being in the wrong place at the wrong time, per the detective) and had no follow up responsibilitites.

Now, the other (younger) son is also making allegations (to his mom) and the police want to meet with us yet again.

I feel this is a domestic issue between the two moms and the dad and that the kids are being encouraged to make unfounded complaints. Unfortunately, because "D" and my son are best friends (and my son spends much of his free time over there), he is being dragged into it too.

My question...do I have any recourse against the families that are making the continuous (unfounded) allegations?

How old is your son? How do you intend to prove this boy's allegations are false? Hint: My son said so, O I know my son doesn't count.

 

[hspivey]

He's 15. I don't believe I have to prove that they are false allegations...don't they have to prove that they are true? In answer to your question, it will be determined in court. I actually just got back from talking with the detective assigned to the case. Here's the scenario...

My son and "d" are in "d's" bedroom with the door closed. My son and "d" are playing some stupid "jack ass" game where there standing there naked, throwing things at eachother...waiting to see who "gives up" first. Stupid yes, illegal (?)...I don't believe. Accuser walks into the room and sees them standing there naked. Accuser then tells his mother that he's seen my son's and "d's" penises and both boys are arrested under charges of private indeceny and endangering the welfare of a child. The accuser was not invited, coerced or in any way tricked into entering the room. There is nothing about the incident that was directed at him.

In my mind, this is no different then the accuser inadvertantly walking into a "closed door" room and witnessing his dad and girlfriend having sex....OR, walking into the bathroom to grab his hair brush and seeing "d" naked, just getting out of the shower.

The detective admits that "d" and my son are not accused of directing the action directly at the accuser...so why the charges???

 

[Antigone*]

He's 15. I don't believe I have to prove that they are false allegations...don't they have to prove that they are true? In answer to your question, it will be determined in court. I actually just got back from talking with the detective assigned to the case. Here's the scenario...

My son and "d" are in "d's" bedroom with the door closed. My son and "d" are playing some stupid "jack ass" game where there standing there naked, throwing things at eachother...waiting to see who "gives up" first. Stupid yes, illegal (?)...I don't believe. Accuser walks into the room and sees them standing there naked. Accuser then tells his mother that he's seen my son's and "d's" penises and both boys are arrested under charges of private indeceny and endangering the welfare of a child. The accuser was not invited, coerced or in any way tricked into entering the room. There is nothing about the incident that was directed at him.

In my mind, this is no different then the accuser inadvertantly walking into a "closed door" room and witnessing his dad and girlfriend having sex....OR, walking into the bathroom to grab his hair brush and seeing "d" naked, just getting out of the shower.

The detective admits that "d" and my son are not accused of directing the action directly at the accuser...so why the charges???

I suggest that you get your son an attorney. Do not let him speak to anyone without an attorney present. While on the surface this seems trivial to you, it can certainly blow up in your son's face if he does not have representation.

 

[hspivey]

We plan to. Thank you.

 

[Antigone*]

We plan to. Thank you.

I wish you well.

 

[mistoffolees]

My question...do I have any recourse against the families that are making the continuous (unfounded) allegations?

No. They believe the allegations to be true - and CPS apparently agreed. You could only go after them if they were making blatantly false charges with willful and malicious intent. That doesn't apply.

I agree with the advice to get an attorney.

I would also seriously consider encouraging your son to find other friends.

 

[hspivey]

Oh yes, we took care of that sometime back. It's too bad really, theyve been friends since they were little...and they really don't get into trouble together.

 

[hspivey]

And as a side note, child services is primarily involved because "d's" mom runs (or ran) an in home daycare....but I understand what you're saying about them believing the allegations are true. I'm just trying to make sense of the allegations.

 

[Beth3]

Two 15 year old boys getting naked together in a bedroom is not remotely usual or appropriate behavior. (If they were five or six years old, it would be a whole different story.) Regardless of how the complaint to CPS turns out, you need to address this - you have whole 'nother problem going on.

Even if both boys are gay (and I'm not suggesting they are or they aren't), this just isn't healthy or appropriate for either one of them at their ages.

 

[RRevak]

Two 15 year old boys getting naked together in a bedroom is not remotely usual or appropriate behavior. (If they were five or six years old, it would be a whole different story.) Regardless of how the complaint to CPS turns out, you need to address this - you have whole 'nother problem going on.

Even if both boys are gay (and I'm not suggesting they are or they aren't), this just isn't healthy or appropriate for either one of them at their ages.

Because why on earth do they have to be naked to do this?!

are playing some stupid "jack ass" game where there standing there naked, throwing things at eachother...waiting to see who "gives up" first.

 

[stealth2]

I'm glad that I am not the only one who raised an eyebrow at two 15yo's dudes getting nekkid. Well... for purposes other than sex. To throw things at one another's genitals? That's just.... weird. Sorry.

 

[cyjeff]

I agree.

I have five brothers. There were male children running through our home all the time growing up.

Never, not once, did we find two boys standing naked next to each other throwing things.

Mom, you have to ask yourself this... if your boy was with a naked GIRL, what would you be doing.

Sounds like your son and D need to be separated for a while.

 

[MichaCA]

Were the guys naked while day care was in session? Ouch!

 

[csi7]

I agree, we had boys in the house all through the years, and if someone needed to change clothes, they did so in the bathroom, with the door locked. Bottoms always had to be covered even in the swimming pool, and girls had to wear tops that covered the breast area.
These rules were established from the time the kids were toddlers and using wading pools.
If the boys are going to be allowed to see each other in the future, they need to be under adequate responsible adult supervision.
An attorney will be the safest way for your son to make it through this ordeal, and know that it can affect his ability to be employed in certain fields in the future due to his age.
Best wishes.