Pay her Alimony for life after 10 years of marriage

[LdiJ]

Believe it or not, there are many skilled jobs one can learn without college (maybe a couple of years at a technical school) that can earn a very sustainable income. I see loan applications every day in my work, and I see what incomes people are earning, and a great many non college educated folks have very nice incomes. One should factor the costs of a full college education against the remaining earning years to see which makes sense.

That does make sense as well. You still have to factor in paying off the student loans before retirement, but there are other options than a 4 year degree.

 

[EnforceSupport]

OP, if you don't like your attorney, either personally or professionally, consider getting another one. However, I wouldn't necessarily do it over this issue of lenght of spousal support.

I say that because in all liklihood, the court is simply going to make an order re support which may be modified in the future based on change of circumstances. The court will NOT (without your consent), order spousal support to continue for ANY period of time, in a non-modifiable way. The court will also issue what are called Gavron Warnings which will tell your wife that she is expected to become self-sufficient.

When circumstances change (you earn less, she earns more, her needs reduce (sometimes as a result of cohabitation), allowable hardships or deductions occur, etc.), you'll go back to court and get it modified.

You can also speak with your attorney about the possibility of a lump sum buy out of future support, or, some type of stipulated step down or termination over a period of time. It is sometimes better to resolve these matters by agreement, rather than by the luck of the draw, in court.

 

[DesertFox]

My question is, I am reaching 10 years this December and am in california. We have been rocky in our marriage (due to me having an affair at which we tried to reconciliate, a few times i threatened divorce since our marriage wasn't going anywhere as a result of my actions and she's comes back crying at me not to leave her). We have 2 kids together, 8 yr old and a 6 month old and one on the way. I don't want to be stuck paying alimony for the rest of my life. If I file today, does that end the marriage today?

I have a friend who said his ex wife messed up and filed at 9 years and 11 months and he got lucky, she didn't know anything about this 10 year rule, he just got lucky, so since she filed at 9 years and 11 months w/o an official judgment from the courts he only had to pay half the amount of years for spousal support, can i do the same?

 

[Proserpina]

My question is, I am reaching 10 years this December and am in california. We have been rocky in our marriage (due to me having an affair at which we tried to reconciliate, a few times i threatened divorce since our marriage wasn't going anywhere as a result of my actions and she's comes back crying at me not to leave her). We have 2 kids together, 8 yr old and a 6 month old and one on the way. I don't want to be stuck paying alimony for the rest of my life. If I file today, does that end the marriage today?

I have a friend who said his ex wife messed up and filed at 9 years and 11 months and he got lucky, she didn't know anything about this 10 year rule, he just got lucky, so since she filed at 9 years and 11 months w/o an official judgment from the courts he only had to pay half the amount of years for spousal support, can i do the same?

Please start your own thread.

Thanks!

 

[George1776]

Judges can do whatever they want in these types of cases. Its good & bad. But you don't want legislatures to get too involved either.

So it will depend on several factors such as: # if kids (a woman who had no kids and did nothing but watch TV all day is not going to be given the same amount of cash as one who had 16 kids). With 2 kids at the age they are, its hard to tell what a judge would say.

At 47 yrs old, the woman probably cannot get a college degree at this point in her life.

I agree with others to go seek out new consul. 90K/yr is not much income to spread between two households.

I hope you have no debt .

 

[Isis1]

Judges can do whatever they want in these types of cases. Its good & bad. But you don't want legislatures to get too involved either.

So it will depend on several factors such as: # if kids (a woman who had no kids and did nothing but watch TV all day is not going to be given the same amount of cash as one who had 16 kids). With 2 kids at the age they are, its hard to tell what a judge would say.

At 47 yrs old, the woman probably cannot get a college degree at this point in her life.

I agree with others to go seek out new consul. 90K/yr is not much income to spread between two households.

I hope you have no debt .

regarding the bolded part, that is the biggest pile of horse manure i have ever seen you shovel.

 

[George1776]

regarding the bolded part, that is the biggest pile of horse manure i have ever seen you shovel.

My, my, my, .... you need..what.. NyQuil , STAT of course ... nothing wrong with my bold post ... why do you think she can get a BS degree following a divorce @ 47 yrs of age.

She still has 3 children to care for .. we have covered this in school recently regarding older people getting college degrees. If I recall correctly, only 2% of women aged 45-50 who attempt to get a college degree succeed. Its just a statistical fact. If you can find different statistics, then please post a link to the data & conclusions of such a study...I would be happy to look at it.

 

[Isis1]

My, my, my, you have a potty mouth .... you need..what.. NyQuil , STAT of course ... nothing wrong with my bolded post ... why do you think she can get a BS degree following a divorce @ 47 yrs of age.

what makes you think she CAN'T? is there a law that says she can't? colleges, universities that do not accept college applications or admissions after a certain age?

maybe you think your life is over at 47, but the vast majority of the human race lives a good life span past 47.

 

[Ohiogal]

My, my, my, .... you need..what.. NyQuil , STAT of course ... nothing wrong with my bold post ... why do you think she can get a BS degree following a divorce @ 47 yrs of age.

She still has 3 children to care for .. we have covered this in school recently regarding older people getting college degrees. If I recall correctly, only 2% of women aged 45-50 who attempt to get a college degree succeed. Its just a statistical fact. If you can find different statistics, then please post a link to the data & conclusions of such a study...I would be happy to look at it.

You are an idiot. COmpletely and totally. Statistics show past. They do not predict the future and they do NOT determine outcomes of individuals. Anyone could get a college degree if they applied themselves. Of course if they never start they will not get one at all.

 

[Isis1]

My, my, my, .... you need..what.. NyQuil , STAT of course ... nothing wrong with my bold post ... why do you think she can get a BS degree following a divorce @ 47 yrs of age.

She still has 3 children to care for .. we have covered this in school recently regarding older people getting college degrees. If I recall correctly, only 2% of women aged 45-50 who attempt to get a college degree succeed. Its just a statistical fact. If you can find different statistics, then please post a link to the data & conclusions of such a study...I would be happy to look at it.

like i stated, there is NOTHING that says she CAN'T.

 

[stealth2]

At 47 yrs old, the woman probably cannot get a college degree at this point in her life.

Bull. I personally know someone who was a SAHM for over 20 years, divorced at 54, and went on to not only get a BS, but an MS and a PhD as well.

I'm 48 (tomorrow!), and plan to go back to school when my youngest goes off to college so that I can get into a field that I would rather be in.

Just because *you* are stupid, doesn't mean the rest of us are. So stick that in your nether regions.

 

[ajkroy]

Bull. I personally know someone who was a SAHM for over 20 years, divorced at 54, and went on to not only get a BS, but an MS and a PhD as well.

I'm 48 (tomorrow!), and plan to go back to school when my youngest goes off to college so that I can get into a field that I would rather be in.

Just because *you* are stupid, doesn't mean the rest of us are. So stick that in your nether regions.

OT, but Happy Birthday!

 

[George1776]

Bull. I personally know someone who was a SAHM for over 20 years, divorced at 54, and went on to not only get a BS, but an MS and a PhD as well.

The exception that proves the rule ! If only 2% get BS degrees ... it speaks volumes. It does not mean that the OP's ex cannot achieve one but, just statistically speaking, the odds heavily favor the other side of not being about to complete a degree.

I think that the courts take the same position ~ the court cannot expect a person at the OLD age of 48 (and that is old, like it or not; the brain is shrinking by then-and fast) to be able to get a BS degree (unless its in some useless, super easy program). Otherwise, alimony would have a limit of 4 yrs --- argue against that fact..

I have visited many colleges this year & in my college tours, you know how many 48 yr old prospective students I see: zero !

College is not designed around geriatric education. I don't see many college seniors older than ~35....

 

[Proserpina]

The exception that proves the rule ! If only 2% get BS degrees ... it speaks volumes. It does not mean that the OP's ex cannot achieve one but, just statistically speaking, the odds heavily favor the other side of not being about to complete a degree.

I think that the courts take the same position ~ the court cannot expect a person at the OLD age of 48 (and that is old, like it or not; the brain is shrinking by then-and fast) to be able to get a BS degree (unless its in some useless, super easy program). Otherwise, alimony would have a limit of 4 yrs --- argue against that fact..

I have visited many colleges this year & in my college tours, you know how many 48 yr old prospective students I see: zero !

College is not designed around geriatric education. I don't see many college seniors older than ~35....

Wow, for a janitor you sure do get around!

 

[frylover]

Judges can do whatever they want in these types of cases. Its good & bad. But you don't want legislatures to get too involved either.

So it will depend on several factors such as: # if kids (a woman who had no kids and did nothing but watch TV all day is not going to be given the same amount of cash as one who had 16 kids). With 2 kids at the age they are, its hard to tell what a judge would say.

At 47 yrs old, the woman probably cannot get a college degree at this point in her life.

I agree with others to go seek out new consul. 90K/yr is not much income to spread between two households.

I hope you have no debt .

Good Lord, I hope you don't have children that you spew this idiocy to!

One of my best friend's mother, after working at dime stores and discount stores her entire life, went to school when she was in her forties and earned her nursing degree.