Step parents rights

[Lulu Roberts]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas. I have joint custody with my child's father and I have told him and his wife that I don't want any other than myself and her father to give corpal punishment on my daughter and I found out from my daughter that the step mom did indeed give corpal punishment which was authorized by my ex husband. Shouldn't I have any say so in this? Once I addressed this with my ex his said I can't do anything about it bc he makes that decision when my daughter is at his house. What do I need to do or can I do anything at all?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas. I have joint custody with my child's father and I have told him and his wife that I don't want any other than myself and her father to give corpal punishment on my daughter and I found out from my daughter that the step mom did indeed give corpal punishment which was authorized by my ex husband. Shouldn't I have any say so in this? Once I addressed this with my ex his said I can't do anything about it bc he makes that decision when my daughter is at his house. What do I need to do or can I do anything at all?

How old is your daughter? What exactly do you mean corporal punishment, a spanking?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas. I have joint custody with my child's father and I have told him and his wife that I don't want any other than myself and her father to give corpal punishment on my daughter and I found out from my daughter that the step mom did indeed give corpal punishment which was authorized by my ex husband. Shouldn't I have any say so in this? Once I addressed this with my ex his said I can't do anything about it bc he makes that decision when my daughter is at his house. What do I need to do or can I do anything at all?

Unless it is specifically written into your custody order, Dad can give his wife permission to use corporal punishment (within reason, obviously).

You can try to have your order amended to specifically exclude his wife, or ban corporal punishment completely, but whether or not that would be successful is anybody's guess. Given the Texas statutes I'd go with "not likely".

Whether it's "right" or not is a different question - many posters here are adamantly against a third party administering physical punishment. But legally, as long as he stays within the State's guidelines, he can give his wife permission.

The law added a provision to the Texas Family Code providing that only the following persons may administer corporal punishment: “1) a parent or grandparent of the child; (2) a stepparent of the child who has the duty of control and reasonable discipline of the child; and (3) an individual who is a guardian of the child and who has the duty of control and reasonable discipline of the child.”

Source: Corporal punishment

(There are also articles online as recent as last month confirming this)

 

[Lulu Roberts]

How old is your daughter? What exactly do you mean corporal punishment, a spanking?

She is 6 years old and yes spankings

 

[Antigone*]

She is 6 years old and yes spankings

I personally didn't spanking but I was spanked and I survived. Express your displeasure to dad, but that is about all you can do.

Kids misbehave, and parents ave different parenting styles, you will have to learn to deal with it.

 

[CJane]

This sort of stuff always makes me go hmm.

I'm not a spanker, was never spanked as a kid and have never spanked my kids. So yeah, I'm coming at this from an intellectual perspective. I'm curious though...

OP, do you not want StepMom to have ANY disciplinary say over your child in HER home, or do you just want her to not spank your child?

Why is it ok (presumably) for StepMom to give kiddo a time out, or ground her, or send her to her room, but NOT spank her when it is (also presumably) ok for the OTHER household adults to spank the child?

 

[Lulu Roberts]

I do feel that certain punishment is okay like time out and grounding but I wouldnt give permission for a school personal or a day care provider to give corpal punishment to my child therefor I dont think a step parent should have that right either. There should be certain boundaries a step parents has and I believe that corpal punishment is a restriction especially when the mother and father are obviously active in my child's life.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

So you are saying it is ok for dad to spank Sally, but not step-mom? I'm just trying to be clear on your true motives.

 

[dannyt]

stepmom is out of line

This sort of stuff always makes me go hmm.

I'm not a spanker, was never spanked as a kid and have never spanked my kids. So yeah, I'm coming at this from an intellectual perspective. I'm curious though...

OP, do you not want StepMom to have ANY disciplinary say over your child in HER home, or do you just want her to not spank your child?

Why is it ok (presumably) for StepMom to give kiddo a time out, or ground her, or send her to her room, but NOT spank her when it is (also presumably) ok for the OTHER household adults to spank the child?

because stepmom is not a parent. if the child is misbehaving its up to dad( as the parent) to admisnter the discipline.i wouldnt want a non parent to spank MY child id raise holy hell about it and make sure it never happens again(it doesnt matter if its dad's house, his wife is a legal stranger who needs to keep her hands to herself before it causes dad problems. she has NO business spanking someone else's child. doesnt matter if dad gave her permission.

 

[Zigner]

because stepmom is not a parent. if the child is misbehaving its up to dad( as the parent) to admisnter the discipline.i wouldnt want a non parent to spank MY child id raise holy hell about it and make sure it never happens again(it doesnt matter if its dad's house, his wife is a legal stranger who needs to keep her hands to herself before it causes dad problems. she has NO business spanking someone else's child. doesnt matter if dad gave her permission.

Actually, that's 100% not true. If she has proper permission, she DOES have the right to do this.

 

[Zigner]

AGAIN, if given proper permission by dad, step-mom CAN administer corporal punishment. Danny - please stop giving your personal opinion. The legal reality is different.

 

[Proserpina]

TEXAS ALLOWS STEPPARENTS TO ADMINISTER CORPORAL PUNISHMENT.

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