Ex wife trying to come into house.

[babybaker7]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My husband and I are moving. His ex wife has called twice now about papers that were left behind. They have been divorced 3 years now. She is insisting that she be allowed to come in and get all her old papers that were left. Mail, old work papers, bills, ect. My husband has explained that he has shredded most everything left behind and has even offered to give her what is left that has her name on it. She is very insistant on coming in herself and has even threatened to contact his boss. I don't feel she has a right to come into MY home. My husband is worried she will try suing us. Any thoughts

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My husband and I are moving. His ex wife has called twice now about papers that were left behind. They have been divorced 3 years now. She is insisting that she be allowed to come in and get all her old papers that were left. Mail, old work papers, bills, ect. My husband has explained that he has shredded most everything left behind and has even offered to give her what is left that has her name on it. She is very insistant on coming in herself and has even threatened to contact his boss. I don't feel she has a right to come into MY home. My husband is worried she will try suing us. Any thoughts

Did your husband shred anything - ANYTHING - at all with his ex's name on it?

 

[babybaker7]

Did your husband shred anything - ANYTHING - at all with his ex's name on it?

Only after her asking him to. I think we even have it in email.

 

[Proserpina]

Only after her asking him to. I think we even have it in email.

Dear Ex

Thanks for getting in touch. As we've previously discussed, there are very few things left here which belong to you but I would be glad to mail them to you certified to make sure you get them.

I'll do that first thing tomorrow morning and email you the tracking number.

Thanks,

Ex.

Seriously OP - she has nothing to sue for unless she can somehow prove that your ex has either withheld her possessions (and why didn't she ask before now?) or has deliberately destroyed same.

 

[babybaker7]

Seriously OP - she has nothing to sue for unless she can somehow prove that your ex has either withheld her possessions (and why didn't she ask before now?) or has deliberately destroyed same.

Thanks a bunch. My thoughts exactly!

 

[randolph76]

Dear Ex

Thanks for getting in touch. As we've previously discussed, there are very few things left here which belong to you but I would be glad to mail them to you certified to make sure you get them.

I'll do that first thing tomorrow morning and email you the tracking number.

Thanks,

Ex.

Seriously OP - she has nothing to sue for unless she can somehow prove that your ex has either withheld her possessions (and why didn't she ask before now?) or has deliberately destroyed same.

Even if the items were destroyed wouldn't estoppel by silence apply after three years time? I would think at this point it would be safe to destroy anything left especially if you've already made contact with her to pick up the items.

 

[mistoffolees]

Even if the items were destroyed wouldn't estoppel by silence apply after three years time? I would think at this point it would be safe to destroy anything left especially if you've already made contact with her to pick up the items.

I don't think that's a safe assumption.

For example, some things are required to be kept for longer than 3 years (tax documents, for example). If OP were to destroy those records, and if the IRS then audited her, he could find himself in trouble.

Granted, the chances are slim and a judge MIGHT let him off the hook, but why take the chance? Put the boxes into a corner and ignore them until she picks them up. I'm sure a few boxes of financial records can't take up THAT much space.

 

[babybaker7]

Put the boxes into a corner and ignore them until she picks them up. I'm sure a few boxes of financial records can't take up THAT much space.

It is not a matter of how much space it takes up. She is being insistant on coming in and going through everything to make sure "nothing was missed". I don't feel she has a right to do this 3 years later. My husband offered to bring all the papers to her.

 

[mistoffolees]

It is not a matter of how much space it takes up. She is being insistant on coming in and going through everything to make sure "nothing was missed". I don't feel she has a right to do this 3 years later. My husband offered to bring all the papers to her.

I never suggested that she should be able to come into the house. I was simply objecting to the statement being made to discard the items.

The proposal above is one way to handle it. There are others (my suggestion - deliver the documents to her attorney - which has the added 'advantage' that she'd have to pay for her attorney's time to pick them up).

I am assuming, of course, that she does not retain even partial ownership of the home. If she does continue to retain ownership and the court did not grant your husband exclusive use of the home, then she would have every right to come get the stuff. That would be a terrible agreement and your husband should try to get it change if that's the case, but I've seen some pretty strange agreements, so I don't want to make assumptions without being clear.

 

[babybaker7]

I never suggested that she should be able to come into the house. I was simply objecting to the statement being made to discard the items.

The proposal above is one way to handle it. There are others (my suggestion - deliver the documents to her attorney - which has the added 'advantage' that she'd have to pay for her attorney's time to pick them up).

I am assuming, of course, that she does not retain even partial ownership of the home. If she does continue to retain ownership and the court did not grant your husband exclusive use of the home, then she would have every right to come get the stuff. That would be a terrible agreement and your husband should try to get it change if that's the case, but I've seen some pretty strange agreements, so I don't want to make assumptions without being clear.

We had her name taken off the house two years ago. She should have no rights to anything in the home. We are not keeping her papers from her. We are simply not wanting her to come in and go though OUR personal belongings. It just makes me angry that a year ago it was ok if we shredded them and now she wants to come in and get her stuff "in case there is something she needs that should not be shredded". I see in no way how she could get away with suing us, or going to someone above him at work.

 

[randolph76]

I don't think that's a safe assumption.

For example, some things are required to be kept for longer than 3 years (tax documents, for example). If OP were to destroy those records, and if the IRS then audited her, he could find himself in trouble.

Granted, the chances are slim and a judge MIGHT let him off the hook, but why take the chance? Put the boxes into a corner and ignore them until she picks them up. I'm sure a few boxes of financial records can't take up THAT much space.

It would seem far fetched to destroy IRS records as OP's husband would need those for his files as well. And I'm not suggesting intentionally destroying anything but at what time does her inaction to retrieve those items constitute abandonment of said property?

OP did ex ever get a chance to retrieve property? Ever ask for property to be returned?

 

[mistoffolees]

It would seem far fetched to destroy IRS records as OP's husband would need those for his files as well. And I'm not suggesting intentionally destroying anything but at what time does her inaction to retrieve those items constitute abandonment of said property?

OP did ex ever get a chance to retrieve property? Ever ask for property to be returned?

Instead of worrying about it or destroying the records, simply send the stuff to her or to her attorney and be done with it.

 

[babybaker7]

It would seem far fetched to destroy IRS records as OP's husband would need those for his files as well. And I'm not suggesting intentionally destroying anything but at what time does her inaction to retrieve those items constitute abandonment of said property?

OP did ex ever get a chance to retrieve property? Ever ask for property to be returned?

That is the question I am asking also. 2 1/2 years ago we sent his ex an email and told her she had 30 days to remove all her belongings from our home. After that 30 days anything left would be considered unclaimed. I gave her more than the 30 days and she came with a Uhaul and got her stuff.

 

[Ohiogal]

That is the question I am asking also. 2 1/2 years ago we sent his ex an email and told her she had 30 days to remove all her belongings from our home. After that 30 days anything left would be considered unclaimed. I gave her more than the 30 days and she came with a Uhaul and got her stuff.

YOU did NOT get to give her anything. YOU were NOT a party to the divorce.

 

[LdiJ]

That is the question I am asking also. 2 1/2 years ago we sent his ex an email and told her she had 30 days to remove all her belongings from our home. After that 30 days anything left would be considered unclaimed. I gave her more than the 30 days and she came with a Uhaul and got her stuff.

Your husband definitely doesn't have to allow her to go through everything in your mutual home. She can bluff, bluster, threaten as much as she likes, but he does not have to allow that.

HOWEVER...I would strongly recommend that in your move, you do not discard anything at all that could even remotely be considered her property, without allowing her the opportunity to go through THAT stuff.

You could maybe move that kind of thing into the garage, and let her go through that. In all honesty, your husband probably doesn't even need to do that. He could probably just send her any documents that pertain to her that he doesn't need, as has already been suggested.

However that might avoid dealing with unnecessary hassle later.